ThisIsDanBell

Baltimore’s new title....

Added 2025-04-26 07:51:21 +0000 UTC

I think the city should embrace this title and turn it into a new catchphrase for billboards and bus stop benches. “Baltimore...THE DIRTIEST CITY IN THE COUNTRY!” Tourists would flock here to the now defunct Harborplace mall only to see empty buildings and a harbor filled with dead sea life and trash. Warm weather is almost here which means you’ll see people on the bus picking at their scabs and drinking from a paper bag while the familiar odor of smog blows through the window. Forget the Aquarium. Let’s go look for a new outfit in the alleyways all around town. Grab that crusty leisure suit and platform shoes and let’s go dancing baby. Forget Camden Yards. Let’s go to Morall Park and buy donuts for the 70 year old hookers that line the street. Munch on an eclair and ask the lady how her night’s been. She’s sure to have a whopper of a story for ya. No need to hold anything back here while talking to strangers. I was at the park once sitting on a bench and a woman in a tattered fur coat sat next to me. We started talking and five minutes in she said...”I killed my boyfriend back in 1987 and I never got caught.” Your secret’s safe with me honey. Why waste money on talk therapy when you can just share your most intimate secrets with people waiting for the bus? When the weather gets hot the clothes start to come off. I loved the time we saw an out of shape couple on a boiling summer night walking down the street in their dirty underwear and bra. This is Baltimore not Manhattan. If you’re hot go ahead and strip down. No one will bat an eye. Dirtiest, cheapest, most fun, awesome people, crazy shit 24/7, I LOVE IT HERE. Enjoy! https://wjla.com/news/local/baltimore-ranked-dirtiest-city-in-america-study-finds