Reluctant Villainy Part 4

Petwork's clone pulled her attention away from the smoking crater where the church used to be and focused on Myst. "Just a thought, but the next time you kidnap a homicidal lunatic with tinker tech explosives, you should probably leave the explosives behind."

"I wasn't expecting him to have tinkertech," Myst admitted as he reached through time to a couple of seconds before the explosion and teleported the large screen television to the bar. "How long do you think it will take the cops to get here?"

Petwork snorted. "At least eight minutes, I'd say fifteen or never but the explosion was rather loud."

Amy glanced at where her clone was checking on Vicky's clone. "I'm just glad we had multiple force fields and regeneration."

"Look at the bright side, it destroyed the dungeon so you don't have to worry about the insane monsters getting loose," the teacher said cheerfully. "We should probably head back to the camp before the police get here, I don't want to fill out paperwork."

Myst gestured and created a portal back to the school for the teacher and the rest of the students. "Have fun."

"Next time I'm bringing a mech," the teacher muttered as she walked through the portal.

"And a cannon," Kid Win agreed as he followed a group of young capes through the portal.

Myst watched the various students head through the portal then turned his attention to Vicky's duplicate. "Are you heading back or staying?"

"Staying, I'm not actually registered with the camp and this isn't my first so I'm not all that worried about it," Vicky's duplicate replied.

"Are you sure you don't want to trade?" Vicky asked her clone with a mock pout.

"Yep," Vicky's clone replied with amusement. "Go have fun with Dean."

"Are you coming?" Vicky asked Amy.

Amy shook her head. "I'll catch up, someone should let the police know what's going on."

"Better you than me," Vicky said as she left through the portal.

Myst glanced at Petwork. "Heading back?"

Petwork shook her head. "No thanks, we're in the middle of explaining things to my parents and I'm curious about the rest of the loot."

"Rest of the loot?" Myst asked 'innocently' after closing the portal.

"You can teleport things through time, the rest of the loot being tragically lost isn't really an issue," Petwork replied with a grin.

"Fair point," Myst admitted as he created five duplicates to clean up the rubble and fill in the crater before the police arrived, hoping to avoid a lengthy investigation. "In that case, we should probably grab a table at the bar."

"Sweet, I always wanted to do some table dancing," Vicky said cheerfully as she flew towards the abandoned bar.

Amy glanced at her clone. "Are you going to dance on tables?"

"Of course not," Amy's clone replied with amusement. "I'm just a bit annoyed that I don't have money for tips."

"She'd freak," Amy muttered as they started walking towards the bar.

"The clones are a bit more perverted than the originals, it's part of my power," Myst admitted.

"How much is a bit?" Amy asked her clone warily.

"No clue," Amy's clone shrugged. "I'm planning on finger fucking myself while I watch my sister dance naked on a table, you?"

Amy stopped and stared at her clone in disbelief. "What?!"

Amy's clone managed to keep a straight face for three seconds before she started snickering. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"You're evil," Amy grumbled.

"Nah, I'm just not worried about being the perfect child," Amy's clone replied as she started walking again. "Carol is never going to love us and I'm okay with it."

Petwork glanced at her duplicate. "Are you insane?"

Petwork's clone considered the question for a couple of seconds. "Does wanting to see Vicky dance naked on a table count?"

"Have you seen her?" Petwork asked with amusement. "I'd be more worried if you didn't want to watch her dance."

Petwork's clone glanced at Myst. "We need some guys dancing to even things out."

Amy's clone glanced at Myst's butt. "I wouldn't object as long as it's Myst."

Amy shook her head as she followed the group into the almost sparklingly clean bar, fairly sure the clones were at least a little off. "Let me guess, cleaning…" she trailed off when she noticed her sister's duplicate 'dancing' naked on the bar. "Yeah, I think your cloning power might be a bit suspect."

"Is that a complaint or an observation?" Myst asked with amusement.

"Observation," Amy replied without hesitation.

"Shake it like you mean it!" Amy's clone called out.

Vicky's clone grinned at the group then jumped off the bar and 'landed' on one of the tables, using her flight so that she wasn't actually putting more than a couple of pounds of weight on the old table and continued dancing, copying one of the dances Vicky had been practicing to show Dean. "Take some clothes off and dance."

Petwork pulled her attention away from Vicky's clone when she noticed Amy's clone stripping out of the corner of her eye. She glanced at her clone who was watching Vicky's clone with an amused look on her face. "Don't even think about it."

Petwork's clone shook her head. "Maybe later, I'm not stripping and dancing while our duplicates are talking to our parents."

"Good," Petwork replied, fairly sure that was the best she was going to get. "Was there anything interesting in the dungeon that we didn't grab?"

"I'll take a look," Myst replied as he walked over and sat down on the edge of a table.

Amy sighed when she noticed what her clone was doing. "No stripping in public."

"We're not in public," Amy's clone replied as she tossed her robe on the table and floated up to join her sister.

"No telling Vicky about this," Amy ordered.

Petwork turned to look at the loot Myst was spreading out on the table, focusing on an eight inch tall crystal statue of a woman with a loincloth and blaster. "There's something a bit disturbing about the statue."

"You mean beyond the fact that her eyes seem to follow you?" Petwork's clone asked as she walked over to check the loot, keeping at least half of her attention on the dancing capes.

Myst scanned the statue. "That's because it's designed to project an aura of unease and to shift position slightly when no one is looking."

"Pass, how about the boots?" Petwork's clone asked.

Myst scanned the boots. "They basically boost the amount you can jump by twenty feet and let you land from any height without injuring yourself which should make getting around the city easier."

Petwork grinned as she pictured jumping between buildings. "I'd love a pair."

"How long will they last?" Amy asked, not taking her attention off her sister.

"Probably five to ten years of dedicated use," Myst replied absently as he used his matter creation power and the pattern to copy the boots a couple of times. "Grab them if you want them."

Amy pulled her attention away from Vicky and looked at the soft leather boots that looked like something someone might buy from a renaissance fair. "I'm not sure how much I'll need them with flight but it's always nice to have options and they look neat."

"Can I have one of the swords?" Vicky asked hopefully.

"No, we'd end up with a bunch of gang members and twitchy PRT officials," Myst complained.

"Let me guess, you don't want to listen to the PRT bitch?" Petwork's clone asked.

"Pretty much," Myst admitted as he went back to scanning the loot.

0o0o0

Sophia Hess stared in disbelief as the clip showing a teenage girl riding through space on a purple unicorn tossing rainbow colors bolts energy at Levithan ended with the endbringer being destroyed. "What the fuck did I just see?"

"A magic girl on a unicorn kicking the shit out of Levithan," Dennis offered, wondering when things had stopped making sense.

"On the upside, there's another dead Endbringer," Carlos pointed out as he glanced around the camp's cafeteria, fairly sure no one would be able to concentrate during the afternoon classes.

Riley pouted. "I want a flying unicorn."

Sophia scowled at the tinker. "That's because you're a fucking kid."

"Potty mouth," Riley complained. "Okay, let me rephrase, I want a flying unicorn that can travel through space and keep me alive."

Sophia opened her mouth to argue then shrugged, figuring the tinker had a point.

The news anchor reappeared on the screen. "We have confirmation from several sources that the footage you've seen is legitimate and that Levithan is gone. Unfortunately, we're probably not going to see Behemoth's death any time soon for various religious reasons as Rainbow Starstrike wants every nation in the world to make it illegal to restrict what people wear because of a person's sex before she'll kill him."

"That's a good way to start a war," Dennis muttered.

"I give it a month," Carlos agreed.

0o0o0

"I'm not sure I'm leaving," Petwork's clone said as she walked out of the tinkering lab. "This is better than my lab at home or at camp."

"At least you have a home," Vicky's clone complained, not particularly impressed with her mother's reaction to finding the plant Amy had been tinkering with. "I still can't believe that Mom kicked her out on Christmas."

"I can," Myst replied as he looked up from the Street Fighter knockoff he was playing. "Most people have issues, she has subscriptions."

"I don't suppose you have a power in your bag of tricks for making people sane," Vicky's clone asked.

"Technically, yes, realistically, no," Myst replied as he kicked Petwork's character off the cliff.

"What do you mean technically?" Vicky's clone asked.

Myst shrugged. "One of my powers keeps me sane and regenerates sanity if something drives me insane but it's not really something I can pass out, she'd need to use the power hub ability and I doubt she'd be willing."

"I can't see that happening," Amy said as she walked in carrying one of the plants she'd been working on tinkering for an assignment. "The annoying part was she wouldn't even listen when I tried to explain that it was for an assignment."

Myst snorted. "She's lucky you didn't want her dead or sent to China in a gift wrapped box."

"I thought about it," Amy admitted.

Vicky's clone stared at Amy. "Seriously?"

"I'm tired of dealing with her!" Amy snapped. "The only reason I'm not going to fail the class is because Myst was nice enough to reach through time and grab my project before she could destroy it and make a replacement for her to destroy so that we wouldn't have to deal with a paradox."

"That ability is completely bullshit, you know that right?" Petwork asked with amusement as she finished off Myst's character while he was distracted.

"I'm aware," Myst replied with a grin before he turned to look at Amy. "If you need a vacation, you're welcome to come with me when I get pulled to another time and place at the end of camp."

"How exactly does that work?" Amy asked.

"I can basically invite people to come jumping with me, they'll have the chance to pick up some interesting abilities and see new worlds while time is basically frozen for this world until I'm done jumping," Myst explained.

Petwork glanced over at her clone. "You're going, aren't you?"

"Of course," Petwork's clone replied. "I'll miss Mom and Dad if they don't tag along but they could both use a vacation so I think they'll tag along."

Amy glanced at her sister's clone. "Are you going with them?"

"I'm not going to pass up a chance to jump worlds," Vicky's clone replied. "Besides, I doubt Vicky would understand my appreciation for Amy sandwiches which gives me very little reason to stick around. Not to mention she sort of flipped out when I joked about sharing Dean."

Amy felt a touch guilty that she liked her sister's clone better than the original, if only because the sex was a lot of fun and the clone didn't stick up for Carol nearly as much which was nice. "In that case, I don't have anything keeping me here. Do you know where you're going next?"

"Not exactly," Myst admitted. "It's going to depend on the answers I get from the people in charge of the jumps but it should give us magic unless something goes horribly wrong."

"Are you going to offer Leet the chance to come with us?" Petwork asked thoughtfully.

"And Riley and Dennis and maybe a couple of people depending on how things go," Myst said thoughtfully as he killed Petwork's character.

Petwork sighed. "Okay, let's try something else."

"Sure," Myst replied with amusement as he floated over and looked at his collection of games.

0o0o0

"Let me get this straight, you want me dead because you think you'll get my powers if you stab me with a glowing dagger shaped rock?" Myst asked, annoyed that the asshole teacher had managed to collect enough of the strange rocks to give him a splitting migraine and make using his powers problematic.

"The voices told me that I'd get your powers if I killed you, I just have to wait until you die," the man that looked like a bodybuilder stuffed in a cheap suit said with a sneer.

Myst picked up the desk that he'd been leaning on for support and tossed it at the man then pulled a gun out of his watch's inventory and shot the teacher in the chest twice when he lunged towards him. His third shot caught the man in the head, mostly by luck, dropping him like a puppet with his string's cut. "That was nearly pointless."

He staggered forward as something stabbed him in the back then spun and backhanded the knife fighting instructor hard enough to atomize his chest and paint the wall red. "I'm not a fucking Kryptonian," he grumbled as he tapped both pieces of the broken dagger with his watch and transferred them to his watch's inventory. 'It's just a…" he trailed off as he took a step and shattered the concrete. "Okay, that's annoying."

He dialed his supernatural strength and flight down to nothing so he didn't shatter the ground or accidently fly through the walls then walked over and transferred the other crystal dagger and large chunk of crystal to his watch's inventory, causing his headache to vanish after a couple of seconds. He focused on the floor and pushed some magic into it to repair it then deconstructed the bodies and the blood on the walls. "Pointless mess," he muttered as he left the room, not even sure why the second man had tried to kill him.

'Screw it, I'll check later,' Myst told himself as he headed out of the classroom, more than happy to be done with instructors trying to kill him as it meant he could relax and enjoy classes, at least until something else jumped out at him.

0o0o0

Myst blinked as he went from the 'graduation' party for the camp that Leet had tossed for the tinkering group to a black void. "I guess that means camp's over."

"Yeah, camp's over asshole, now for your grade, you suck," the ROB complained. "When I told you to be a villain, I wanted blood, death and carnage, not extortion and petty crimes that you won't feel guilty about."

Myst shrugged. "You said be a villain. It's Earth Bet, if you're on the wrong side of the PRT, you're a villain, if you don't toe the line, you're a villain. I extorted people, I killed a bunch of drug dealers and pieces of shit and I forced countries to change laws on a global scale. Not to mention I started at least five revolutions thanks to my extortion."

"You would have done the same thing as a so-called hero. I should break your legs considering you didn't even deal with the alien invasion in a thematic way!" the ROB snapped.

The girl with the umbrella reached over and bopped the ROB on the head. "None of that, nothing in the drawback said he had to deal with it, he was more villainous by not dealing with it. Besides, he has a point, the bar is set rather low in Worm, I believe the next place should be more interesting. I expect to see chaos and mayhem and society twisted into knots."

"I'll certainly do my best," Myst replied then blinked when he found himself waking up on a circular red couch in a suspiciously bottle-like glass room, with vague memories of picking perks and powers. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed his arms and hands were purple. "So much for looking human." He grinned when he noticed the leather bound 'How To Be A Genie!' book sitting on the couch. 'Might as well start reading until I can figure out what's going on.'

He opened the book and looked at the front page, "The art of being a genie, from playing it straight and making heroes cry to making evil masters want to rip out their own tongues because of a badly worded wish. Sounds like a good place to start."

He managed to read the first chapter on the best lies for genies to tell their masters and the rules they had to follow before someone opened the bottle and he found himself turned into mist and flowing out of the bottle. He grinned when he reformed and saw an attractive green eyed girl that looked like a certain actress other than her hair which was quite a bit more wild than the movie version. "I am the genie of the bottle, what is thy wish master?" he asked as he glanced at the plain looking room behind her, noting the lack of electronics or personal details.

"You're an actual genie?" Hermione Granger asked in disbelief.

"Three wishes," Myst playfully shook his right index finger at her, "no wishing for more wishes or bringing back the dead, it never ends well."

"How badly are you going to monkey paw my wishes?" Hermione asked warily.

Myst shrugged. "That depends on the wish and how much you're wearing."

Hermione sighed. "Great, of all the genies in the world, I ended up with a pervert."

"Let me guess, you were expecting the genie from Aladdin?" Myst asked with a grin.

"You've seen Aladdin?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm a genie," Myst replied with amusement. "What's not to like for Aladdin, everyone other than Jafar got their happy ending. So, what are you going to make for your first wish, the love of a cute girl, a grimoire with all the spells you'll ever need, power beyond imagining or something more mundane?"

"That depends, can you kill evil immortal wizards of great and terrible power?" Hermione asked, figuring she might as well ask.

"Dumbledore?" Myst asked with a straight face.

"No! Voldemort," Hermione sputtered, not sure why the genie had jumped to Dumbledore.

"It shouldn't be that hard," Myst mused as he shifted one of his slots to a scrying power and went looking for Voldemort's horcruxes. 'Huh, they're actually in the right places.' He grinned at Hermione. "Considering the steps he's taken to avoid staying dead, we should probably consider killing him a kindness."

"Does that mean you'll do it for free?" Hermione asked hopefully.

Myst shook his head. "Nope, I'm a genie, it doesn't work that way. However, demonstrating my credentials is certainly within the rules, so I'll make you a deal, one horcrux, one article of clothing, he has five of the foul things left."

"Will I get them back?" Hermione asked.

"If they come off your body? Yes, otherwise no," Myst replied with amusement. "Let's start with the easiest one, the one that's downstairs."

"There's a horcrux downstairs?" Hermione asked in horrified disbelief.

"This house has lots of interesting things in it," Myst replied as he gestured towards the door. "Shall we?"

"Shouldn't I not tell people about you?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You trust your friends, right?" Myst asked with a grin, curious about this version of Harry and Ron, assuming they existed in this world.

"I trust Harry, I don't trust Ron not to make a stupid wish," Hermione admitted, knowing he'd wish for gold or something that would go drastically wrong.

"Do you have any idea how much magic it would take for his favorite team to win the world series?"

"No?" Hermione asked, fairly sure the answer was a lot considering their record.

"I could reignite the core of Mars and fix the atmosphere for less magic," Myst replied, exaggerating a bit.

"That bad?" Hermione asked in surprise.

"Yeah, the Chudley Cannons are that bad. The other option results in lots of dead or critically injured players on various teams, it would be messy," Myst assured her.

"In that case, can you turn invisible?" Hermione asked.

"I can but I can also do this," Myst said as he opened a portal next to the locket and in front of him and grabbed the locket. He pulled his hand back and let the portal close. "Slytherin's locket, do you want it intact or should I just crush it?"

"Wouldn't there be magical defenses on something that important?" Hermione asked.

"That wasn't my question, the question was did you want it intact, yes or no?" Myst asked as he scanned the locket, figuring he might want to make a mundane copy of the artifact at some point for completeness sake if nothing else.

"Yes," Hermione replied.

"Is it worth an article of clothing?" Myst asked with a grin.

"It's Slytherin's," Hermione replied.

"I'm taking that for a no," Myst replied and crushed the locket, causing black mist that unleashed an unholy wail to pour out of the broken fragments. "One down, four to go unless you'd rather burn a wish?"

"No, thanks," Hermione replied as she pulled her sweater off. "That's one."

Myst opened a portal to the Room of Requirement and grabbed Ravenclaw's Diadem. "Give me a second, this one I actually want to save." He created a mundane copy with his matter creation power then reached back through time and swapped the copy for the one Voldemort had before he did the horcrux ritual but after he'd tested it. 'That one was actually useful.' He snapped the corrupted fake, causing more wailing black mist to pour out of the fragments.

"That's annoyingly loud," Hermione complained then stared at the diadem. "Did you just snap Ravenclaw's diadem?"

"No, I snapped the fake that Voldemort turned into a horcrux," Myst replied as he tossed the real diadem into his inventory. "No sense letting an artifact get corrupted when I don't have to."

Hermione sat down on her bed and quickly took her shoes off. "That's two."

Myst swapped his matter creation power to cosmic magic immunity then opened a portal to the box in Riddle's family home and grabbed the family ring, ignoring the death curses. He twisted the ring apart, being careful not to damage the resurrection stone on the off chance that it was Death's property or something equally as problematic in this world. 'Wasteful bloody idiot.' He scanned the resurrection stone then set the broken remains of the ring on the table as he was reasonably sure it was safe. "And Riddle's family ring is scrap."

Hermione took her socks off. "Three."

Myst opened a portal, cutting Nagini in half and putting the snake out of her misery and causing the now familiar black smoke to pour out of the snake's corpse. "And done, you really shouldn't make horcruxes out of living creatures, it never ends well."

"Four. What else is there?" Hermione asked as she unbuttoned her pants and pulled them off.

"Helga Hufflepuff's Cup or at least the replica," Myst replied as he looked back through time to when the previous owner had the cup then opened a portal and scanned the cup. He swapped his precog power to matter creation after he finished scanning the cup then created a replica and swapped it for the cup. He closed the portal and stuck the cup on the table. "We should probably loot the vault."

"You want me to loot a vault?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's Bellatrix Lestrange's vault, does she really need the gold?" Myst asked with amusement.

"Considering she should be spending life in prison, not particularly," Hermione admitted.

"Excellent," Myst replied as he opened a portal to Bellatrix's vault. He reached through and crushed the cursed cup, causing the black smoke to escape. "And that's five." He created a hollow crystal snow globe with matter creation then swapped his power to shrinking things and shrunk the contents of the vault. He gestured and teleported the contents of the vault into the snow globe then handed it to Hermione and closed the portal to the empty vault. "And that is how you deal with dark lords. Can I assume that my qualifications are sufficiently presented?"

"Yes." Hermione pulled her shirt off, revealing her blue underwear. "Happy?"

"More like amused," Myst replied with a grin, keeping his attention on her face. "So, have you figured out your first wish?"

"That depends, what do you think of Jafar's first wish?" Hermione asked, wondering if he'd offer any insights or suggestions.

"It was a decent choice given his personality, it would have given him everything he wanted if he'd had the patience to use it correctly," Myst replied with a shrug. "Thankfully, most villains don't have the patience or they have a ridiculously large ego."

"In that case, give me a few minutes to come up with the right words," Hermione said as she walked over to her trunk to grab her writing supplies, wanting to make sure he didn't twist the wish to an unreasonable degree.

"Sounds good," Myst agreed with a smile, rather amused by the whole genie gig.