Vampirates and self-indifference

What do pirates, vampires, and legendary Norse gods have in common? More than you'd think! Though they all have iconic, vastly different appearances and reputations, outside their epic stories, they're just... people, living mundane lives and putting on mascara one eye at a time. Just like us. This upcoming video is all about that: the people underneath, and how giving your characters moments of awkwardness and non-plot can make them feel so much more empathetic.

While researching this video, I came across a practice called self-indifference, which is sort of a real-life version of this people-under-the-characters concept. It's really stuck with me, and I want to share in case it does something for you, too :)

Self-indifference is an interesting counter to the common push to have high self-esteem and high expectations. As kids, a lot of us have this idea that we have unique genius and potential. We often see ourselves as heroes at the center of our lives and the world. Main Character Syndrome is a popular phrase for this, especially for people who retain such attitudes and behaviors into adulthood.

For many, life quickly takes you down a peg or twelve. As flaws, weaknesses, and shortcomings are revealed and stack up, your opinion of yourself nosedives, until self-esteem is low or nonexistent. You have so many ideas; you could have done so many cool things! What went wrong? How did you end up here? Are you worthless?

Even people who have a lot of success are prone to bumping up against that question. With success come expectations for greater success, and the looming fear that you must accomplish THIS much to have worth. Now you have to maintain whatever your self image is riding on, and the pressure's on. So even high self-esteem can create a lot of stress and unhappiness.

Self-indifference says forget that! Actually, if you're really honest with yourself, you're not uniquely exceptional in either direction. You're just a person. You don't have to be greater than that, and your life needs only to be lived. At the end of the day, you're not that big a deal.

And isn't that
just
incredibly freeing?

When I read about this, I felt a huge weight disappear. Someone called me out for my visions of grandeur and my self-hatred for not living up to those expectations. I'm not destined for heroism and history books, nor am I ruining the world by being imperfect. I'm just some guy: kinda smart, kinda boring, a faceless extra in the vast majority of other people's lives. I am not that big a deal. And I love that. Now I can just do my work and enjoy life without worrying about doing Great Things or whatever.

I hope this inspires you to be a little more meh about yourself, and to feel freer for it!

Here are links to a couple articles about self-indifference, in case you want to learn more.
https://www.thecut.com/article/how-to-stop-reliving-embarrassing-memories.html
https://bigthink.com/thinking/self-indifference/

This week's video will show you how meh and normal even vampirate gods can be. I hope it inspires you!

-- Sylvan, researcher