The Marshmallow Ranch Gazette

Volume 7, Issue 4 -- Friday, June 16th, 2023

Howdy, patrons!

This week has been a little rough for me, to be honest. I haven't had great sleep for a week or so and that's led to a small breakdown in discipline for a few days. So the newsletter is a day late and as you might suspect there might be a chance Episode 3 won't be ready by Tuesday of next week. I'll make every effort to catch up over the weekend but there are a few other things I need to handle as well, and I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. Don't worry -- you'll be updated either way on Monday and if I can't post on Tuesday the episode will be up for your enjoyment later next week!

I tend to approach dialogue scenes in my story as opportunities to feel out the emotional truth of the characters. They're still a mystery to me before I write their first big conversation, because so much is revealed through the way people bounce off each other. In a macro story, it's also a great way to pepper the dialogue with actions that highlight the difference in size and the feelings it inspires. In that way, conversations are a kind of foreplay; what the characters are saying are layered by their actions.

Dialogue scenes tend to be flabby in the draft stage as a result. My main characters tend to spend a great time of the story being overwhelmed with a few intense feelings all at once, so it's a struggle to maintain some level of control when they speak. But this can lead to a one-sided conversation where the bigger partner is doing most of the work moving the plot along while the smaller partner responds with some variation of "Meep!".

In most macro stories, this issue is side-stepped by using that bug as a feature. The whole point is to get across that feeling of overwhelming power, so the giant is the active character that other characters just have to react to or survive. And while I dig those stories, too, I love concentrating on relationships where the two characters see each other on an equal footing socially and emotionally. So the smaller partner has to hold up their end of the bargain, being just as interesting and dynamic as the giant.

With Deimo, I wanted someone who had trouble being open about their attraction while also really wanting to be. All he needs is a little encouragement and a safe environment. I think Deimo's main problem is still a little vague here, or at least could be more clearly defined through dialogue.

This is all to say that the public meeting between Deimo and Prince Douxmont will most likely be the most heavily-edited part of the story once it's completed. Also, I could really use constructive criticism on characterization, dialogue, and the pacing of those scenes.

I'll throw up a quick update on June 19th to let you know where we stand with Episode 3. Have a great weekend, in the meantime!