The Marshmallow Ranch Gazette
Added 2023-06-08 23:53:05 +0000 UTCVolume 7, Issue 3 -- Thursday, June 8th, 2023
Howdy, patrons!
The "Swiftie's Bar" in my head is probably not the same story as it was. Maybe its strengths and flaws were different. What I'm left with is the impression it left on me, and how to use that for writing this version of it.
I remember the opening was incredibly short, truly reminiscent of Hemingway:
"The job had been completed, and <name> had some free time, so he thought he'd see what this place was about." Or something like that.
The first paragraph gave you just enough information for your head to fill in the rest and that was that. An efficient, evocative opening is one of my favorite little pleasure in writing. I can't quote you the opening lines to any of my favorite books, but I have a very clear image in my head for each one. In that way, the best openings really feel like being hit with a spell. A few words of the incantation and BAM -- I'm hallucinating.
I don't think I'm there yet in my journey, but I wanted to open with a strong sense of place at least -- and from the perspective of a stronger main character. I don't remember much about the protagonist and maybe that was the point. I think a lot of the best porn makes it easy for the audience to put themselves in the fantasy, so that main character should be nice and blank. But I'm not good at writing that way.
Besides, I like romances where two people have strong perspectives and enjoy the process of connecting them. People who connect just talking, being fascinated by each other's experiences and views of the world. The kind of attraction that's shallow and immediate, but quickly deeply entrancing.
So, the trick, for me, is establishing Deimo's perspective as quickly as possible while introducing the world and getting to the "good stuff" all in a way that feels organic…ish. It was a stretch, surprisingly, even if the outline I wrote helped me stay on track.
Episode 2 comes next Tuesday. See you then!
