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D*mn, You're Ugly: A Witcher Armour Review

Enjoy, earliest of bears :) 

Next time I think I'm going to have to figure out an alternative drawing arrows on things strategy though, you see a lot of the side of my head in this video!

D*mn, You're Ugly: A Witcher Armour Review

Comments

Leather trousers all I can think of is Ross from ‘Friends’ tv show. If they get all sweaty…good luck!!😂😂

Queen Calanthe: For the gold armor set, it looks like the breastplate where the belt is looks like a solid piece, which would make it too long. Now if you compare it to the silver one where she is on a horse, you can clearly see the segmentation where the hips are, meaning it has flexibility. I think the weirdness comes from the lack of segmentation on the gold breastplate, which doesn't feel realistic.

Scrysis

I assume you've already looked at the white armour worn by the stormtroopers in whatever that non-Star Trek sci-fi film is? I've had a squint through the channel and can't find it anywhere... Seems strange that an armour can offer 100% coverage and still provide absolutely no protection from light sabres, blasters... or pointy sticks fired by squirrel-people.

Andrew Michael

Regarding Queen Calanthe: I am with you on that. Her torso and upper legs are so well protected, that the eye is drawn to the unprotected arms. I feel that if they gave her chain sleeves or a simple rerebrace, you'd be Tossing a Coin. Maybe even if the undershirt was more clearly a thicker, quilted gambeson, just something. But it's like walking into a party and everyone's in formal dress and one person is in a bathing suit. Might be nothing wrong with the bathing suit, but you can't help but feel they missed the memo.

Robert Calhoun

See you tomorrow!

Anders

Since literally every point I was going to make about Calanthe's armor was just made by the three comments above me I will instead say that I'd love to see some discussion of differences in "armor for X" versus "armor for Y". You hinted at that a couple times in this video, with the discussion of different kinds of boots. Does certain armor (choices) make more sense if you expect your wearer to be fighting exclusively on horseback versus on foot solo versus on foot in formation versus something else?

DrWex

That is a terrible joke and I love it 😁

Jill Bearup

My beef with Calanthe is that it's not quite impressive enough for "Showy queen armor that's mostly aesthetic" but not quite protective enough for "Leads from the front/regularly engages in melee combat". I can understand leaving arms free for gesticulation, and minimizing shoulder protection, but that goes with putting a very high visible crest on the helmet, and a lot of shiny eye-catching decorations. I can see sticking to functional, protective armor, but then why would you not have better arm, shoulder, and neck protection?

Matthew Jackson

Her neck was completely uncovered.

Paul Murray

The breastplate isn't "wrong" so much as better suited to a later period when matchlocks were in use, or for an officer who stands around not fighting (many lorica musculata). Not something I would want to wear while wielding a sword.

Dan Mackison

Her breastplate is too wide at the shoulders. She can't push her arm forward. With the exception of jousting armor where shoulder mobility doesn't matter, the front of the shoulder is usually protected by the pauldron, not the breastplate. It is a very similar problem to the too low breastplate and waist mobility.

Dan Mackison

Would Lorica Emasculata be one of those armor designs that have pointy things near the groin?

Anders

About Calanthe: it looks just a bit too snug for plate armour to me. I honestly can't quite decide if all the requisite underlayers would even fit, and her being surrounded by people wearing armour of a more classical shape doesn't help the uncanny.


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