Goldendawn69

An update on my transision

Added 2017-12-11 08:37:26 +0000 UTC

Well today has been a big downer for me today, my wife (who original seemed okay and willing to explore the new us) decided today if I transition we are not going to be together anymore.

She does not want to be seen as lesbian.

I can't force her, but loosing her is a big blow to me, so I have stated we will try and compromise then... that maybe I won't fully come out.

And yet, I just feel like I have allowed her feelings and my need to have her with me just kill me inside. I feel so empty suddenly and .... down...

But I don't want to loose her - she is my reason for life. It is so hard for me to decide one or another - and I am once again having to put my own needs second so that she doesn't leave me. And yet, it is also my need to keep her in my life. I am so torn.

So very sad right now, but having to show strength so that she doesn't break down and cry again because it is so hard for her.

Is there ever going to be a time in y life where I am happy :( It appears my happiness comes at the cost of the one person I want in my life just as much. Can I be happy living as a woman without the person I want to share that with... :(

Sorry to vent, I just needed to... :(