Problems and I

I really don’t like talking about my problems, I’m not used to complaining or asking for help. But right now, I’ve found myself in a situation I can’t handle on my own.

Over the past few months, my body has just given up. After a severe pneumonia, I went through several courses of antibiotics one after another, even though I can’t take them — I’ve been taking too many antibiotics my whole life. The doctors said that this time the consequences are especially severe: my immune system is destroyed, my microbiome is wiped out, and now all the chronic diseases that could have remained hidden have been activated at once. And unfortunately, I have a lot of chronic diseases.

Every day brings a new problem. Constant headaches, muscle pain, problems with my digestive system, and my kidneys, which have started hurting even more. A strict diet, tests, ultrasounds, checkups, medications… I buy one medication, and then I run out of another. I feel like I have bonus cards for all the pharmacies in the country, if only they helped.

As if all of that wasn’t enough, now I also have serious problems with my teeth 🤦‍♀️. A filling came out, and with it, a wisdom tooth started coming through, my gums are inflamed, and the pain has become unbearable without painkillers. I can’t take new antibiotics because my body simply can’t handle it.

My only escape has been cooking. I really love to cook, it’s my relaxation and therapy, but unfortunately, now the doctors have put me on a strict diet, and I can hardly eat anything.

I always thought that there were people who needed help more than I do. Shelters, sick children — all of that is really important. But now I realize that I can’t manage on my own.

If anyone feels like helping me — I would be incredibly grateful. 🙏

I’m trying to stay strong, be positive and cheerful, continue creating, coming up with new things, working for you, for myself, trying not to despair, but it’s all really hard for me. At a recent photoshoot with David, everything went perfectly 📸, and I think the photos will turn out beautiful, but because of the cold floors, my kidneys hurt again the next day.

That’s why even the smallest gestures of support mean a lot to me right now.

Here’s my PayPal: nemmy.horiin@gmail.com ❤️🙈