statement
Added 2020-06-16 14:02:23 +0000 UTCwish i could post stuff without feeling like a useless tool for doing it. since commissions and patreon are my main source of income, my mind has wired to think of it as a job to be constantly growing so i can be financially stable instead of following my ambitious passion to constantly create and try brand new things for myself. whenever I do that and it doesn't do good on twitter, I get this really constricting feeling on my throat and chest that staples into my brain that it's very very stupid to make art for myself. I can't afford to try risky things or stuff for me anymore because if people lose interest I'll lose income. I'm very grateful I have so many patreon supporters that like my stuff enough to support me monthly but sadly it isn't a large enough quantity for me to rely on it financially. it's getting close though! it's motivating and exciting seeing it grow slowly. I don't feel depressed or cornered, I just feel.. choked by my own brain. anyway. I'm not seeking advice or a pat on my back so please don't reply with mellow stuff on this. just a thought that's been over my head for a while now and I feel if anyone wants to hear it, it's my supporters. cheers! thanks for the support and anticipate more big thick kitty to come <3
