PATREON UPDATE – MAY 2025 (Discord link)

Hey all <3

As always, I want to start with the most important thing: thank you. Truly, from the bottom of my heart. Every time I sit down to write these updates, I’m reminded how lucky I am to have a community like this—people who believe in what I do, not just the content I put out, but me, as a person and as a creator.

Lately, I’ve been carrying around a lot of guilt—feeling like I haven’t been active enough on YouTube, or vocal enough on trans issues during a time when everything feels so intense and urgent. But I keep reminding myself: I can’t do everything, I can't be everything and its important and ok to focus on the things you've got in front of you. And so many of you have messaged me, or even told me in person, that you’re here because you believe in my voice, not just the output. That your support is here to enable me to be healthy, joyful, and creative—not to work myself to the bone. That matters more than I can say. It’s hard to feel that sometimes… but it’s important to hear honestly. It helps to hear from others so that I can tell it to myself and maybe start to believe it more haha.

So thank you. Thank you for letting me take care of myself. Thank you for supporting the human behind the camera and the scripts. I hope I’m doing right by you.

APRIL CHECK-IN

To be honest, April was rough. Things are still good, big picture—but it felt like everything came due at once. I’ve been deep in post-production on Long Away, juggling editing, VFX, and coordinating all the moving pieces; while simultaneously kicking off preproduction for my episode of Nebula’s Sub/Liminal. On top of that, I’ve been trying to make headway on [REDACTED] (more on that below ), which is a massive project. Each of these things is meaningful to me. I love the work. But when they all stack on top of each other, it’s a lot to carry.

And while I’ve tried to keep my head down and focus on the things that make me feel grounded and creative… I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been shaken by the online world lately. The internet has felt especially toxic this past month. Not everywhere—there are still corners of care, curiosity, and community—but even in those places, the temperature feels higher. I think a lot of us are fraying at the edges. Everyone’s worn down. Everyone’s scared. And the internet, as it exists now, doesn’t help us regulate that fear.

Whether it’s discourse I’ve been involved in or just ones I’ve witnessed from the sidelines, there’s a kind of just frayed emotion in the air that’s hard to ignore. It’s not that the topics aren’t important—they are—but the way we’re pushed to talk about them flattens everything into conflict and performance. It leaves no room for process, for nuance, for grief. And for someone like me—who makes work about complexity and contradiction—it’s deeply disheartening. And also just been really hard emotionally to handle when it's come at me too, and even when it hasn't. I honestly don't have the energy between everything to hold it, but I want to. I desperately want to, because I know people are hurting and so I want to listen and try to build and reach out but I'm also frayed too.

I still believe in the power of the internet. I still believe in what we can create together here. But I’m also a little jaded right now, if I’m honest. So I’ve been focusing on what I can control—projects that feel tangible, collaborative, affirming both on and off the internet - especially ones that I've been able to work with others on. I’m lucky to have so many of those in my life right now. They’ve been my anchor. But even anchors get heavy when you’re tired.

And I am tired. Grateful, but tired.

PERSONAL NEWS

I’m heading back east this month for a pretty exciting combo of family and work! I’ll finally be meeting my new nephew—my brother’s son—which I’m so thrilled (and mildly terrified) about. I’m also attending my sister’s college graduation, and Erin (my fiancée) is going to meet my biological mom in person for the very first time! (They’ve met virtually, and Erin’s already met my dad and stepmom, who’s basically also my mom, but this is the last big “first” meeting. )

And while we’re back east, I’ll be doing some location scouting in NYC for Sub/Liminal and meeting more of the crew! Speaking off...

SUB/LIMINAL (Nebula Original Series)

We’ve officially started preproduction on my episode of Sub/Liminal, Nebula’s first live-action fiction series of this scale. It’s a low-budget project with big ambitions, and it’s been fascinating to be a part of a larger creative machine for a show for the first rather then running it from the start.

This is the first time I’ve stepped in as a director on someone else’s script, so it’s been a challenge (and a joy!) finding my way into a story that didn’t originate with me. Working with writers like Jake Torpey has been great, and figuring out visual language with DP Valentine Vee (who many of you might know as the director of Abigail Thorn’s Dracula’s Ex-Girlfriend) has been genuinely exciting.

We’ve started casting, and we’ve already landed some AMAZING folks—with an offer out to one of our leads who would honestly be a dream to work with. Like, John DeLancie-level dream. Fingers crossed.

We’re scheduled to film in late June in New York City, and now that Long Away is wrapping up, I can shift more of my energy to this. I can’t wait to share more.

LONG AWAY (Sci-Fi Trans Short Film)

If you missed it, Long Away is the sci-fi short film from Star Trek: Prodigy’s Tilly and Susan Bridges that I assistant-directed and co-produced. We are so close to the finish line!

My main job now has been post-production: I’ve been the editor, VFX artist (alongside the absolutely wonderful Aaron Loss, husband of Dr. Erin Macdonald—truly one of the sweetest, most brilliant men I’ve had the pleasure of working with), and post-production coordinator. It’s been a lot—but we’re nearly there!

VFX are almost done, and we’re currently working through sound design, color, and scoring (with many of the Identiteaze team returning!). We’re aiming for a June premiere in LA, followed by a festival run, and a wide release sometime next year. I’ve included some BTS photos below!

THE SECRET PROJECT REVEALED!

Okay, so: I’ve been teasing a third big project for months. And while I still can’t give you all the details yet, I can finally say this much:

I’m writing a book!
I’ve signed with a publishing imprint under Macmillan to write a nonfiction book—and I think you’re all going to love it. I can’t say the topic yet, but let’s just say… it’ll probably be very up your alley if you follow me.

I’m currently about halfway through the first draft, with a detailed outline for the rest. It’s been slow going because the book requires a ton of research, and because my editor was unfortunately let go in April. The book’s still happening—but transitioning to a new editorial team took time I didn’t really have, which only added to the burnout this past month. Still, of all my projects, this is the one that might be closest to my heart. It’s something I feel like I’ve been building toward my whole life. I can’t wait to share more.

YOUTUBE UPDATES

So, YouTube has taken a bit of a backseat lately. But still a lot going on.

• The next entry in Sex in Star Trek is still in editing, and I’m aiming for a June release.

• I’m planning a video on Star Wars: Andor Season 2, because I’ve got a lot of thoughts—complicated ones! Even when I don’t love all the choices this season, I find them fascinating to dig into.

• I’m also working on Aranock’s Androids in Sci-Fi script, which is going to be so good once we finish it.

• I’ve got a few other queer/trans-focused scripts in the works, but they’re still in the early development phase while I juggle the bigger stuff.

It’s a slower pace than usual, but I promise it’s worth the wait—and as always, thank you so much for your patience and trust.

Oh, and of course, don’t forget:

• New episodes of Frak This Podcast with Vera!

• Reviews on my secondary channel for Andor, The Last of Us, Doctor Who, and soon Strange New Worlds!

WRAPPING UP

So yeah... busy busy busy. I’m trying to prioritize staying healthy, but this past month really put that to the test with so many deadlines crashing into each other.

Erin and I have also, as I mentioned last month, been talking seriously about leaving the U.S. given everything. We've even reached out to a few immigration lawyers for just some thoughts on first steps. But between her working toward her CPA and both of us being busy, it’s also been hard—but it’s something we’re working on.

But on top of all of that, I feel so much guilt about not doing enough to support trans rights publicly right now. I know I’m already doing a lot. I know it’s not all on me. But still... I feel it.

So again: thank you. I hope I’m living up to the trust and support you’ve given me. I’m sending so much love to each and every one of you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for helping me be here.

With all my heart,
Jessie

Oh also, here's the discord link for those who need it! https://discord.gg/ZpPA2PHv