Why Kink is Inherent to Pride

I posted this in discord but 1) as someone whose been in and out of Poly for almost 25 years yes it can be very vanilla but there are some of us who that's what we actually want. 2) In my experience Iowa has the best kink scenes anywhere. When it's -30 with four foot of show and 14 hrs of darkness three months a year you have to find something to keep you from losing your mind.

Troy Stull

Indeed, you are very correct. As I mentioned, companies change their symbols to a rainbow flag, but still systemically harm LGBTQ folks by either giving money to groups, individuals, politicans or countires who harm us, or do harm themselves. Its a difficult conversation.

Jessie Earl

How do we queer people deal with the corporations who are trying to insert themselves and profit from our rising popularity. Having companies who will shun LGBTQ content from their platforms, but then release rainbow colored stickers. What do we do when these businesses try to make money off of our pride; make money off of who we are? Just because our popularity is rising in the zeitgeist, should they be allowed to insert their brand on to our struggle for rights? Perhaps their money and support can help drive political change. Perhaps these large companies can help to drive small LGBTQ creator straight out of the market. I think the conversation of Money into our Pride can be a big problem moving forward. What good is progress towards civil rights if that can be reversed the moment a company doesn't like our direction?

Jacob McDonald

Thank you for the lovely hug <3 and Yeah... Vaush is... a whole thing. I have so many thoughts but I don't want to be a drama tuber but... I have many thoguhts on Vaush

Jessie Earl

yup yup yup!

Jessie Earl

I pretty much agree

Jessie Earl

AHHHH THATS AMAZING

Jessie Earl

Haha, it was actually 80 degrees that day so I was sweating in all the lights, but it made teh girls feel nice. And thank you for all the comments <3

Jessie Earl

<3 <3 <3 Thanks haha. ANd yeah, I love the onsie even though I never use it haha

Jessie Earl

hahaha so many are

Jessie Earl

I like most of your video essays, but then there's the occasional one for which I just want to hug you. Not because I'm into kink myself, I'm probably the most vanilla person on the planet, but because I too grew up Catholic. Not even in a particularly conservative household or parish, but I guess I'm at least about 15 years older than you: I was born in the late 70s, grew up in the 80s. I didn't have words for things I felt, and I didn't have anyone to ask. Sex ed wasn't absent, but basic. So I drew the only conclusion I could; that I was broken, my feelings wrong and never to be voiced, let alone acted upon. I still carry the feeling of shame, it never goes away completely. Queer identities and kink cannot be completely separated on other levels too, and they never could. A lot of queer people are into some form of kink, and vice versa; and that has always been the case. That's why that statement by Vaush made me actually angry. Pride isn't about the cishet majority. It's not about making nice. It's for us, by us, all of us, an act of open defiance. It's about solidarity, about not being ashamed anymore. And statements like that by Vaush, or the open hate by some other cis queers calling trans people fetishists and child abusers (will please somebody think of the children!) prove we still have a long way to go, even in queer circles.

Hannah F.

brings, like the third person present tense of brought not briggs, you beautiful heart breaker I am admittedly, if nominally, cishet. But I grew up around queer, bohemian and nudist culture. My absentee father was a somewhat successful funk and before that jazz musician, and my mother was an artist, mime, interpretive dancer and bi. My personal take. I think you can make the argument that queer culture is the direct response to exclusion by the mainstream. Being rejected from the status quo forced those with the guts or need to stand up for who they were to form their own path, and when you are already rejected carte blanche from the mainstream culture it becomes pretty easy to start poking holes in the social norms that define such. Suddenly you begin to ask is two and a half kids, a house with a yard, a dog, a boring straight laced social life, the refusal to express yourself vocally or colorfully on an issue, not doing or wearing the things that make you feel good or like yourself a desirable end goal? You might pine for it, but being so excluded from it at the time you also find yourself holding a higher dimensional view of what it means to fit into that scheme. Being mixed I can understand the desire to just fit in, to be part of the mainstream. To not be viewed as other, or as curiosity. To not worry about losing your job, being beaten or killed for who you are. And it would be great to have ones sexuality or non sexuality, or gender, or skin color be as interesting a talking point as what wax someone thinks gives the best shine to their oldsmobile. At the same time, having to sacrifice aspects of an emergent culture, or being ashamed of or actively suppressing all of the things and kinks and norms that make you stand out from the mainstream isn’t you becoming accepted by mainstream culture, it is how you become tolerated by the mainstream culture as it works to maintain its dominance and survival by strategically overlooking the color of a few individuals skin, the gender they were assigned at birth, the genders they are attracted to not attracted to as long as they otherwise fit the mold, go to the right schools, have the right careers, speak in the correct manner, hold the right views, and actively reject anyone who also fails to fit within the narrow parameters they’ve modestly extended on their behalf. It is grossly similar to the mindset that leads to atrocities like indigenous children being shipped off to be raised into the “right” western culture, the culmination of respectability politics in the tulsa race massacre, the brown paper bag tests, etc. And truthfully I can’t help but suspect that the further away you find yourself from being an upperclass white cis male or at least passing white cis male the less mileage the LGBTQ community is going to be getting from the same form of acceptance that is more horrified at kids seeing some assless chaps than all of toxic dysfunctional and damaging nonsense already propped up by the status quo.

Keith Brings

Excellent video and so much fun! I've been attending Pride since the 80s and kink has always been a controversial part of it. It never bothered me (and I sometimes found it "educational" LOL) because just as I don't expect to enjoy every type of music or food, I also don't expect to find every type of sexual practice appealing. And frankly I think kids are much more accepting than their parents are about these things. As such, the responsibility should rest with the parents to decide where to take their kids rather than the rest of the world to police itself to the parents' standards.

Lin Kibblemom

I attended my first Pride parade 10 years ago with my (now) 82 year old mother and it was by accident. We were in downtown Pittsburgh for the annual Arts Festival and the day we went was the same as the Pride parade and we found ourselves in the thick of things. At first I was worried she'd be freaked out, but she immediately started having fun and we decided to stay. I'll never forget how loudly my Mom cheered when the Western PA Humane Society marched by with adoptable pups in rainbow gear and her envious comments that a trans-women's legs were so much better than hers. Her acceptance of the joy and diversity made me so proud of her at Pride.

This is such a controversial and sensitive topic for many, and I’m so glad to finally see an informative take that adds some fun and humor. It didn’t matter how many times you used a spanking sound effect or changed the censorship—it still made me laugh every time. Haha. That passage talking about how lgbt+ discrimination was not the same as kink discrimination frustrated me so much (to clarify: I loved what you said about it, it was OP who bothered me). I agree that they are not the same, and probably not even on the same level, forms of discrimination. However, we’re talking about lgbt+ people at an lgbt+ event!! This isn’t about random cishet kinksters. This is about legitimate members of the lgbt+ community who also happen to delve into kink who want to be in a space with other lgbt+ people. There is an intersectionality there that can’t be ignored and OP really failed to acknowledge that (at least in that passage). I definitely feel that 18+ areas can exist at Pride. I think so many arguments against these safe spaces (“there’s no room for kink at Pride,” as they say) seems to neglect that there are always going to outliers. Any time you leave your house, there’s a chance you could see something inappropriate. So yes, there’s always going to be a possibility that people might be engaging in sexually inappropriate behavior at Pride—the same way it happens at bars, clubs, or... heck, I’ve seen “worse” things at anime conventions than I have at Pride! I’m not saying its okay, just saying that it could happen even at a family-friendly event, so why not set up safe boundaries to prevent that as much as possible? Rant over. I’ve seen many takes on this topic from both sides and I think this video was great! I hope your house wasn’t too cold when you filmed this, hahaha. And just a little part that I thought was heartwarming: when you were talking about how nervous you were when you first started going to Pride—you said all of this while wearing a bondage outfit on youtube, talking about a very controversial subject. The character development!!

rebkadraws

I was not sure just how uncomfortable I would be watching this and to your credit the answer is, not at all. I know more than I knew before and better still understand more now than I understood before. You have a knack for that you know. Great job. And good choice on the 1'sies.

I guess I am with Kevin in asking for uncensored versions of the youtube videos

My bad, posted the wrong link!

Jessie Earl

Video unavailable... private?? :(