EARLY ACCESS - The Anxiety of Under-Confidence

Oof. I feel every bit of this. I graduated college at the end of the last recession and it took me several years before I really got my life together. It didn't help that I had really bad anxiety to begin with and have never really out grown it. We're all pulling for you!

Troy Stull

Jesse, for anxiety in general along with anxiety over your level of confidence I and both Mister Spock would recommend that you begin to practice some form of meditation, it actually does help greatly reduce stress, and gives you insight from perspectives you may not normally have without it. It does take practice but once you're able to still your mind you're able to how should I say get a broader look or see things from a different vantage point. There's a huge difference between meditation and sitting quietly and contemplating. But mainly it has a calming effect. As far as confidence goes I would say and I know it's easier said than done but be as confident as you possibly can up to the point of being cocky you must be sure of yourself, as long as you know you've given it your best shot and done everything that you can , it's different for each individual and their life experience and being quote different and not a straight white male, you have to realize your lack of confidence comes from within and you're the only person that can change it you're always going to face obstacles from the outside world and because of who you are you're going to face more than your average person and definitely more than your average white male not to say they don't also suffer from lack of confidence to. But being black I've always been underestimated especially when it comes to intellectual capability so I therefore Endeavor to develop my mind to the highest degree I possibly could which is a lifelong process which I will continue as long as I remain conscious. Due to this I've been able to excel both in Academia and in the Arts and this has given me a great deal of confidence in myself and my abilities and most people who know me would say that I was arrogant, when it comes to confidence in my level of intelligence, but none would say that I'm overconfident or overestimate my capabilities. But there was a time long ago when I did suffer from lack of self-esteem, so I can remember what it's like, in my opinion your lack of confidence or under estimating your ability is due to your insecurities which you must face head-on as long as you know have you've given it your best shot and you're doing the best you can, that's all you can do and whether it succeeds or not depends on so many variables outside of your control, that overthinking and worrying about it is a complete waste of time and adds even additional stress to the situation. So in other words try your best once you do your best. And give it all you got leave it up to fate or random chance or if you want to call it luck. You're an attractive female you're highly intelligent , clearly very articulate and you're personable and you have your own YouTube channel.I know that there people looking at you saying how the hell can this lady not be confident in herself and 100% of sure of herself! I know it's that little negative aspect of your mind, that's constantly criticizing or judging, and wondering whether or not you actually have done the best you could have done, and then worrying that that's still not enough.So the goal is not to get rid of that voice but to control it because that voice is there for a reason it's to make sure you don't become cocky and overconfident and overestimate your abilities so it's a razor edge balance. Keep that aspect of your Consciousness available to you to keep yourself in check but don't let it get out of control. And once again please please read the book The Wisdom of insecurity because there is nothing secure in the world all things are transitory and impermanent and parts of or an aspect of an infinitely complex Dynamic pattern of variablesl.For every given event there are an infinite number of possible outcomes which are completely incalculable, so there is no way we can truly determine the eventual outcome of any action or decision that we make, AKA The Butterfly Effect!! Check out that science fiction movie and also study the actual scientific Butterfly Effect itself! It doesn't mean that you shouldn't make plans or even make contingency plans, but remember that saying the best laid plans of mice and men. I've seen many people make elaborate plans that never actualized, and they put all their hopes and dreams into it. Uncertainty is the basic state of life and to overcome the fear of that realization is to Simply go with the flow don't swim against the tide or the current swim with it. So this long diatribe simply States play it by ear. Namaste!