Side Story: Valerica In America

A/N: Hey there! First off - this is not just another chapter of Momo the Ripper. This is a 'side story' / alternate universe imagining of: what if instead of Valerica isekai-ing Momo to Alois, she accidentally isekai-d herself to Earth?

This side story takes place the same day as Chapter 1 of the actual story begins. I'm writing it just because I found the premise way too amusing - but if you do want more of it, I'd be happy to continue it as a bonus side story alongside the usual chapters. 

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Valerica should have known something was up the moment she smelled fresh air.

She woke up nauseated, nearly retching at the scent of it - clean, unscented oxygen. The room had the aroma of ferns and leaves, vanilla and cinnamon.

“Oh gods,” she groaned, pinching her nose. “Minion, grab me a decades old cod from the rotting fish cabinet. My room smells so terribly floral.”

She jutted her hand out, waiting impatiently. She could already feel a migraine coming on. The longer she went without the calming fumes of mold and mildew, the more painful it became.

“Did you just call me minion?”

An entirely unrecognizable voice made her eyes fly open. She could barely see - the windows were wide open, letting in a grave amount of light. Wait, windows? The Dawn didn’t have windows. She had them removed centuries ago; natural sunlight ruined her pale, comatose complexion.

“Why is the minion talking back to me? Did I ask you to gain sentience?” she frowned. “Fish. Rotted. Now.”

“I’m sorry,” the quivering voice apologized. “I don’t have any… rotted fish. Maybe you could check the dumpster behind the dining hall?”

“We can’t possibly be out,” Valerica moaned. “I know we’re in desperate economic times, but I’ve made sure we’ve had enough poisonous seafood to last us a decade. Search harder.”

“You brought… rotted seafood with you to college?”

Her eyes finally adjusting, Valerica could make out a totally un-skeleton like shape in front of her. She was not one to be scared by abrupt changes in circumstance, but nothing could be farther from her usual reality than this: a dormitory room, decorated sparingly with odd drawings and colorful tapestries, living plants, and … foldable metal contraptions?

“What are you holding?” Valerica inquired, her mind reeling. Across from her was a small, terrified girl, holding what looked like two stone slates stapled together on the edge. The girl looked at the folded thing, and then looked back up at her, utter terror exuding from her eyes.

She looks like she’s seen a terrible, fear-inspiring phantom. Valerica smiled. What a compliment.

“You mean my laptop?” the girl said, pointing to the odd metal contraption in her lap. The thing purred loudly, nearly growling. It was breathing stuttered, labored breaths.

“Have you trapped a beast in there?” Valerica said, eyes glowing with interest. “Oh, how I love an unconventional minion. Skeletons get so blase. You must show me how you conjured this one.”

The girl looked at her with a blank, terrified stare.

“Have you never seen a laptop before?” she asked.

“Of course not. It is obviously a first of its demonic kind,” Valerica narrowed her eyes. “Are you mocking me?”

The girl’s eyes enlarged comically, and she waved her hands frantically in front of her face. “Of course not! I’m so sorry. They told me my new roommate would be from far away - but I didn’t know how far. Are you an international student?”

Valerica furrowed her eyebrows even further. It was as if they were speaking different languages entirely. She was certainly no student. A student of Morgana, perhaps, but definitely no conventional institution.

She peered out the terrible, light-inflicting window, and noticed that it overlooked a stone walkway. Adolescents in odd clothes jogged across it, their belongings strapped to their back.

“Where am I, small, laptop-wielding girl?”

“Umm…. where are you? Our dorm is called Loore Hall.”

“Broader,” Valerica said, placing her open palms to the window. The world outside of it was familiar, yet alien. She didn’t recognize any of the botanical species around, nor the architectural conventions of the surrounding buildings. In the far distance, she saw even larger metal contraptions - wheeled contraptions, racing at high speeds down a gray pathway.

Where are their horses? Who leads these wheeled carriages? Valerica narrowed her eyes. Was it Nether magic? Invisible minions?

“Well, technically we’re in Vermont?” the girl squeaked. “America? Earth?”

Valerica’s eyes widened, and she withdrew from the mirror, turning to the girl.

“Did you just say Earth?”

“Is that how they say it in your language? Is English your native language? Was that rude? I’m so sorry –”

“You mean to tell me I have transported myself to the Other-World?”

Valerica leaned into the girl, only inches away from her face. The girl grew redder than the rising sun, and her stuttering only worsened.

“I have no idea what that means. Please don’t hit me.”

Valerica laughed, drawing backwards. “Hit you? Dear, you misread me. I just cannot possibly… I must be dreaming. I spent much of last night meditating by the Nether pool, attempting to summon a promising soul from the Other-side. This must be a fragment of that ritual, a side effect.”

“Meditating… like, yoga?”

“Very good comparison, yes,” Valerica nodded.  “Like yoga, except instead of hamstring stretches, I throw mortal bodies across space-time.”

The girl blinked.

“Are you into… sci-fi?” she asked quietly. “Is that what this is?”

“I do not know what earthly practice sigh-figh is, but I do not engage with it, no,” Valerica frowned, falling back into her ‘bed’. She could hardly call it a bed - it was so soft, and pillowy, like a terrible, purposeless cloud. Nothing like a real bed, which was made of bone, stone, and sinew.

She supposed that students of this world couldn’t afford such cherished materials, judging by the girl’s feeble white mattress. It had to be made of something like cotton. She could only sympathize.

“What is your name?” Valerica asked. “I apologize for not asking sooner. It was rude of me, as your guest.”

“Oh,” the girl looked genuinely surprised at being asked, as if it was an uncommon practice for her to engage in normal conversation. “Momo.”

Valerica smiled broadly. What a cute, simple, lovely name.

“It is wonderful to meet you, Momo,” she said, extending a hand. “While I’m sure it will only be a few moments until I awake back in my lovely rat-infested dungeon, I appreciate your hospitality in this… abode.”

She tried her best not to wince at the bright colored walls. She could respect a woman with differing tastes, even if those tastes were terrible and awful.

“I’m, um, I’m happy to have you. Even though technically this is our dorm…” Momo mumbled, growing quieter after every word. After a moment, she raised her head, summoning the confidence to ask a question. “Does that mean you’re not going to be coming to the dorm meet and greet?”

“Why would we be greeting dormitories? Are these buildings not just inanimate structures made of stone?” Valerica interrogated, craning her head. Unless…

Unless even their dwellings are infused with souls. She peered suspiciously at the lap-top, which continued to buzz and bark. She had heard that Earth was a place with no magic, but this was clearly a falsehood. It seemed to be a society with magic even grander than that of Alois - a universe beyond their comprehension.

Momo paused, her mouth opening and closing a few times. She seemed to have trouble producing words after Valerica asked her questions.

“It’s a… welcome event. Since we all just moved into this dorm, it’s an opportunity for you to meet the other students who live here,” she explained, seeming to withdraw further into her oversized cloak. “I wasn’t going to go, but maybe, if you were going…”

Valerica jumped off the bed, grinning ear to ear.

“An opportunity to meet even more earthly souls?” she clapped her hands together. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Clearly my first summoning attempt was a bust, but this might be the perfect opportunity for me to scout for others.”

She peered down at Momo, and offered the terrified girl a hand.

“Who knows? Maybe the perfect necromage might be sitting right under my nose.”