July Blog: Changing With The Seasons

Hey there wild blackberry, what's going on with you lately? Have you been feeling renewed and excited now that the world is opening up a bit? Or are you feeling apprehensive, unpracticed, maybe a little out of sorts? I'm right there with you, on both of those extremes. The ordinary has become a little unordinary, and I'm sure it will take some adjusting for all of us in order for it to feel ordinary again.

Today I wanted to pop by for a check-in, and a little update on my part. Let's begin with an awareness test to ground ourselves. Ask yourself these questions, and I'll ask (and answer) along with you:

Where are you right now? I am in a cafeteria-like establishment that has a few restaurants, at a wooden table in the middle of the open concrete floor. This is within the city of Greenville. It looks like it might rain in the next hour. It is not crowded, but there are various people about. There's music playing from two different places at once but I plan to put in headphones soon.

What is your posture like right now? I'm sitting, fairly straight I'd say, but my weight is shifted slightly onto my right foot, which is on its toes and propped against the leg of the chair. My neck feels a little craned forwards, so I took a breath and adjusted it back just now. My arms are at 90 degree angles, hands typing. My face is relaxed but my mouth is tight--I must remind myself to not purse my lips.

How do you feel, physically? Mentally? Just right now, in this moment? My heart rate is average, I am at a comfortable temperature in my sweatshirt and shorts. My elbows and forearms have some pressure from the table below them, my throat is a bit dry. I have a few mosquito bites on my thighs that itch. And I'm full from the food I ate an hour ago. Mentally I am calm at this very moment, I'm listening to peoples' conversations around me, and I'm wondering if you're actually doing this exercise along with me. I could probably panic about work, life, etc, if I focused too hard on it right now--but alas, I will not. 

Alright, that's all we'll do on this exercise for now! I hope you feel grounded. 

Summer is not exactly what I thought it would be this year, which as I have come to realize is because it's my first full summer as a working person, not a student. Last year's summer just...barely existed, honestly. It's hard to call it a summer. But what I have noticed about this year is that I do not feel that "it's SUMMER" feeling that normally comes with a "summer break", because--well--I am not on break. I actually might have more work right now than I have in my entire life. All of my deadlines are in fall, and I'm certainly not even close to done. I am still able to take a couple hours off every day, and occasionally a full day off, but this summer will not hold any long trips, vacations, or extended relaxation. And I have come to terms with that, and it's not something to pity! Sometimes I like to pout, but I am working hard toward some things I really want to achieve, and if I am having to sacrifice some comfort, that is okay for now. 

Youtube

Doing youtube content is something I have always wanted to keep up with, but did not know how to make it a sustainable thing. I hesitated because I didn't know what people wanted to see from me, or how I would even be able to afford working on something that wasn't "actual work"/making me income. However, I recently started vlogging if you haven't already seen, as well as doing some more casual drawing videos (kind of like what I used to post on here) and I think I've finally found my flow with youtube! It was like something really clicked with me after trying vlog-style content where I wasn't "trying" to be any sort of way, just joking around and living my life casually. 

Seeing comments joking around with me, or saying that I felt like a friend in the room--I have discovered that these were the interactions I wanted after all. As an illustrator on the internet, I get a lot of comments about my art which first of all makes total sense, duh, but also was basically all I heard. I do not want to sound ungrateful seeing as it meant so much to me, but there's something so freaking wonderful to see a shift in conversation: people joking along with me about my life and the goofiness that ensures. It feels strangely humanizing, like I'm not just my artwork, I'm an actual silly person on the other side of the screen. Am I making any sense? I think I just really appreciate not being put on any sort of pedestal and when people see me just living my stupid little life, and it makes them happy...that makes me happy.

The honest truth is that I'm not a very deep person. I'm a crude, weird, funny, goofy person, one who eats grapefruit over the sink like an animal or sits naked, crunched over laundry on a pillow on my floor. I can be serious, but that's not every facet of my being. And I feel seen doing vlogs, I feel seen for who I really am! My art is, of course, an extension of myself and I feel I can express myself with it, but sometimes I worry that I come off as a different person than my art(?) I'm not sure...I think I'm still figuring that out every day.

Also. I just signed up for Adsense so I am getting a very very small amount of youtube money. But it's still exciting to see--I was giddy when I saw my first adsense money show up. :~) 

Change in Scenery

In September, I'll be moving. Not far, just about 15 minutes outside of the downtown that I currently live in. This was my first place to myself, on my own, but I have definitely outgrown it physically and mentally. I discovered what I did and definitely did not like about living in the heart of a city (albiet a smaller one), as well as how a studio apartment layout affected my mental health. Someday I'll do a video explaining how I feel about all of it in detail. 

I gotta say I am VERY pumped to be moving to a new space. It will be a one bedroom apartment, and just thinking about creating this new space makes me vibrate with anticipation. Now having a bit of interior design practice and living-alone-experience under my belt, I feel like I have a clear vision of do's and don'ts for the new place. I want it to be a space that I don't want to leave. I want it to feel like a home. I can't tell you the joy that something as simple as glancing at the ikea webite, or surfing my Home pinterest board, or watching renovation/decoration youtube channels brings me. It's actually embarrassing how many videos I have watched within the last few weeks. Show me an "aesthetic room makeover" video--I have probably seen it. 

This has really given me something to look forward to and work toward, despite feeling a little overwhelmed or overworked. It genuinely keeps me inspired!

Speaking of Inspired

Something I have been enjoying lately, if it wasn't clear from my pinterest (which, by the way, I have been using literally every day now) is graphic design, abstract art, and...I don't know how to describe it, ethereal graphic art? Art that I associate with experimental indie music, or people that I think are way cooler than me. Gradients with text. Bright red writing on a photograph. A squiggly line or some checkerboard pattern. These are all things that don't necessarily "mesh" or make sense with the aesthetic that people know me for: crunchy, earthy, nature-based stuff. I have been insecure about incorporating these inspirations for some time because I was afraid people would feel the change was jarring. I am certainly not leaving the crunch behind, that'll always be something present in my art. But I have begun to blend the two looks and I'm feeling unapologetically happy to do so. It brings me joy, and it's a visual dream in my eyes! 

This is a big reason why I titled this blog entry with "changing with the seasons". Inevitably, as summer will turn to fall, my art will probably lean towards victorian botanicals, but right now, in the hot sun of July, a cherry red gradient on a pink background is the art I crave.

(below are some of my recent pins)

I feel like I can really summarize periods of my life with very tangible aesthetics. I have had extreme visual swings, and how I dress, how I style my hair, the colors I choose, the content I consume, it's all affected in its own way. I embrace this. I love these very clear differences in taste, like little bubbles that I can peer into and revisit. I listen to certain albums of music and I can visualize exactly who I was when I was overplaying that album, what aesthetics I was enjoying at that time, how I felt, etc. I feel like I can hold the nostalgia in my hands like something physical. I always wonder how this period in my life will feel later on, because I think we can never quite judge it in the moment. If I could assign a song to how this period in my life feels it would probably be In Poly Amber by Night Tapes. And I know I will revisit this song all my life and remember this time in my life. 

I realized that in this blog, I haven't done much talking about art, or work...like at all, really. If you are subscribed only for my art content, I do apologize. With how often I am working, thinking and focusing on my work, I really enjoy just catching up about everything other than art itself. I always say that I believe everything in an artist's life contributes to their work (which is not a new sentiment) and this sort of chat is an extension of that statement. 

Things That Are Good

And now, my list of good things, which I always like to recap monthly. There were some things that I just felt so extra special about in this span of time.

• Young Serif font (the font from my recent youtube videos as well as the text on the header image for this blog)
• Caroline Girvan's EPIC Heat program (I am on day 23 and have never felt so good and strong during a workout regimen)
• light pink
• being asked "What are your pronouns" by multiple people at a party when meeting new folks
• kelsey kreppel's vlogs
• Having a good cry to Pheobe Bridgers. It's necessary sometimes. yes this is still a good thing
• the ologies episode about bears (part 1: Ursinology)
• chickpeas, in any form, cooked basically any way
• framing a new piece of purchased artwork
• any of the ikea furniture that resembles lockers
• my new big white soft oversize sweater from Campell&Kramer 
• honeydew melon, grapefruit, big blueberries, watermelon, frozen mango chunks
• the abstract work of @struggle_inc
• Infinity Train!! I finally watched it oh my goodness
• The multiple Lokis from the Loki disney+ show like cmon
• The Good Place (I started it this week and I'm on season 3 😳)
• Repotting plants and seeing them grow even bigger thanks to that!
• Going to bed around 9:30 and waking up at 5:30 consistently. I love being awake during the quiet hours in the morning and getting my workout in.

Here are four gradients I made to represent some concepts that I have been feeling lately to send us out. I know this blog post was a little all over the place, but thanks for reading regardless! Much love. -JG