January 🎊2021🎊 Monthly Newsletter!

(Pssst hey, it's the inside-your-head tinier version of Jamie here, just reminding my Sapling and Harvest patrons that content from now on will be released intermittently throughout the month, rather than all at once on the first day. So if it seems like less stuff was released than normal, you're right! But not to fear, you will still get everything like usual--and more--just spread throughout January! Okay. Over to the other Jamie.)

Wow, hello traveler. Our first hello of 2021! This will be posted up at exactly midnight (EST) Jan 1, 2021, so happy new year to you from the east side of the US at this very moment! I hope you're doing well. We've got so much to talk about today. Let's catch up, shall we?

I’ve been seeing a lot of “fuck off 2020” content going into the new year, and while I completely get it and personally am relieved to have a new starting point (we all need it, I know), I wanted to talk a bit about how I want to negate that concept. It seems like every year since I was actively on the internet, folks have been saying “thank god 20__ is over, 20__ here’s to hoping 20__ is going to be better”, and often when we have that mentality it creates expectations. And sometimes, those expectations can be especially shattered when the coming year is much, much worse than the last. If we keep saying “next year will be the one!”, are we fully living presently and being grateful for the things we currently may have? I am so guilty of this in the past--always looking forward to the next thing, thinking that the next step will be better than the last.

“When I’m in art college and away from high school I will finally be completely happy”

“...When I’m in my senior year I will be happy and have things all figured out!”

“...When I graduate college I’ll have a job and be secure and happy…”

“.......When I move out and have my own place I won’t ever be upset”

“....When I--”

Do you see what I’m saying? There will always be some turmoil in our lives. It’s a part of being human. I don’t mean to be a downer by any means, in fact, I hope this will bring you some sense of relief. I think when I try to let go of fantasizing and idealizing future prospects, I am able to more readily enjoy my life as it is.

Yes, 2020 was objectively a mess. And if you look at the facts, things could really start to even out in 2021. But I’m trying to remind myself, and hopefully remind you, that each year has its ups and downs. I remember in 2018-2019 I saw a lot of success. I won a lot of awards, got scholarships, grew a ton as an artist, went backpacking and had a really incredible job through Ringling. My mom described it as “The Year of Jamie”. However, at the same time during that year, I experienced hardcore heartbreak, bullying, struggled with my mental health and body dysmorphia and had moments when I thought “this is the worst year ever”.

There were two extremes happening in my life at once. The idea of 2020 seemed magical to me--graduating, getting a job, moving out of Florida and living on my own. Obviously, some unexpected things came my way. Some unexpected things came everyones’ way.

But can I share something with you that might sound a little...fuckey?

I am thankful for 2020. It is an experience that I wouldn’t trade for anything (well...I would trade it for a few things).

I learned so much about myself. The whole world had periods of bonding over a lockdown. We were pushed to limits that made us stronger (though we might not know it in the moment). We just all experienced a historic year that will inevitably change our lives forever. I really do think we can come out on the other side stronger, more compassionate and perhaps more appreciative. If not for the lockdown, I would not have discovered my love of freelancing, started patreon, gotten better at home-based workouts, or come to terms with my gender identity.

I am not really a new year’s resolution person, and sometimes I find it difficult to sustain abstract goals such as “be kinder to yourself”. I have always found concrete goals like “drink more water” to be more productive and easier to maintain. But this year I do have a few things in each category that I would like to aim for.

Don't lose sight is the big one for me. Does it sound super abstract? Let me see if I can break it down if it isn't clear. 

Getting caught up with the tough things, the small things, the superficial things, can lead us away from our goals. 

My anxiety will work me up so bad about things that aren't contributing to the good in my life or helping my achieve my goals, and then my vision becomes clouded. I'll hyperfixate on something that really does not matter. And with enough time, it will snowball--or rather, it will become like an over-accumulated trash ball from Katamari, to the point where I cannot see past it.

It has happened to me many times in 2020. But there were times of clarity--returning to my pinterest boards that help me to center my goals/brand, or hiking in solitude, or realizing where I was and how I got there. All it takes is seeing a picture of a really incredible looking home/art studio and I'm like oh yeah, this is what I am working toward. Listening to Andrew Bird is also a great tool for this exercise. I hear his music and think this is what I want to feel like, this is what I want to surround myself with. 

Anyways. I am going to print this out and keep one copy by my bed, one by my desk and one in my sketchbook. If you have some resolutions or goals, I would love to hear them. We can keep each other motivated and accountable.

がんばって ! (Do your best!)

I've had a bit of a breather last month while I was in the waiting-for-feedback period of a couple projects. I am still awaiting a contract from my big long secret project, so there's a temporary lull with that as well. I'm now onto creating the final pages for the Anne of Green Gables book, which will be done mid-February (I'll share what I can from that as I work)! In December I got feedback from the editors with some sketch revisions--mostly small things, thankfully. I'll share one as an example so you can have an idea of what the "bigger" changes looked like.

The original guideline called for 

"Page 53: 9781946260253_a023: Full Page Art # 7 of 8: Anne standing beside her chair at the kitchen table. She is wearing a blue plaid dress with a fresh white pinafore. Her hair is in braids and tied with blue bows at the ends. She is reciting a poem, and looking as though she is imagining the scene of what the poem describes. Marilla and Matthew are seated at the table, looking at Anne with admiration, their eyes filled with love."

After seeing the illustration I sent (the original from above), this was the feedback I got:

"PAGE 53 - Can we see Anne shoveling down breakfast here instead of reciting? Let’s save that for the end! Maybe an up close image of her at the table eating and talking to show the excitement."

I decided to keep Matthew and Marilla in the scene and instead of shoveling breakfast, she's about to eat a whole fried egg on her fork. Usually, I would follow more closely to the guidelines given, but this publisher has been pretty lax with creative freedom so long as I feel it's a wise decision. for the story (which is awesome). 

Another thing to note: I believe that, due to the change in posing and action entirely, the person reviewing my work may be an entirely differently person from the one who wrote the original prompts. That's completely okay, it's just an interesting observation about the publishing process that I wanted to share with you.

So yes, it's on to color now. I will share a few glimpses into the colored pages when I have more. I'm including a crop of one in the first batch of Secret Sketches  for January, so check that out if you'd like.

Hey, cool news!  I also recently signed a contract with a smaller publisher to illustrate a nonfiction, poetic botanical mushroom book! This is big news for me, because I was waffling on whether or not I wanted to revise my thesis (More Than Just Mushrooms) to be published. So many folks were asking to purchase a copy, but due to how expensive it is to self-publish, it all kind of fell through. I have been thinking about it nonstop since I finished it back in April. So now, to be able to say that I am doing a newer, nicer (though slightly different) mushroom book is an exciting relief. I have a lot of creative freedom with this project, and the completion date is sometime in September 2021. I hope you'll look forward to it! I'll share what I can from that process as well--I feel lucky that I have at least a couple projects that aren't under NDA. 

Those of you in the discord may already know, but I set a goal for myself to run two miles every day for 30 days. I swapped a few days out for lifting so that I had my full energy for that. I normally work out 4-6 times a week, mixing it up between lifting and cardio, but wanted to experiment with consistent running to hopefully improve my cardiovascular system (especially for hiking)! I'm currently 20 days through it. I was fairly doubtful at the very beginning (would I actually be able to hold my word? Will I be able to get out of bed so early every morning even though I was so cozy?), but so far it's been easier than I imagined. I feel more confident and focused because of it. It feels incredible to do something to impress nobody but yourself. 

It really turned my December around, honestly. For a solid week in the middle of December, I believe I had what might have been some pretty intense seasonal depression. I felt unmotivated, unable to communicate, insecure and generally sad. I cried on and off--sometimes for actual reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. I do not mean to put negative energy into this space, but I thought I should be honest and transparent. It was one of the worst weeks since Covid first hit and we got ushered out of Ringling. I tried to get sun on my skin, thinking that would help, but the days were cloudy and short. I would wake up before the sun was up, work inside all day and then finish at 4:30--when the sun was already setting. I tried to exercise it off, but I barely had the confidence or energy to lift my normal weight or do as many reps. 

I can't pinpoint one things that made me start feeling a bit better, but the goal of running and actively sticking to it genuinely did make a difference. Chatting with you guys in the discord also helped (This is one of the kindest and most patient communities I have ever seen on the internet). Communicating to those closest in my life about how I was feeling was crucial as well, even if I reeaally did not want to at times. Needless to say, times like these come and go, and it's hard to see past it once you're in it, but knowing that you can make it out is a proud moment! 

Onto some more lovely things...

Last month I also kept a list of things that I found myself appreciating. This was something I kind of did in my first newsletter from September 2020. It was initially inspired by the  Wonderful! podcast, which I rave about all the time, but the flame was lit again when @daltondoodles and I talked on the phone about writing down simple pleasures/pleasant observations. I've decided to make it a permanent segment here in the monthly newsletter. Here's my list from last month:

• New news about your favorite character/series (in my case it was Loki)
• Rearranging your living space
• The Great British Bake Off
• Realizing that a friend feels the same way you do/is experiencing something similar (feeling less alone might be a way to put it as well)
• Getting into something a bit obscure that feels like a little treasure (for me it is the WWE and designer toys)
• Hearing someone compliment your cooking
• Splitting up chores with someone
• Learning and playing a new board game
• An apple with thin skin (equally an easy-to-peel orange)
• The feeling after a run
• Someone saying your name when speaking to you
• Winter hats. I love seeing these freaking folks in winter HATS
• Getting back into something you used to love (for me it was Neon Genesis Evangelion)
• Backpacks.
• DESIGNER TOYS
• Finding new music, specifically bops (in my case it was the pop duo Magdalena Bay) 
• Taking efforts/conscious steps to better your self care.
• And finally, I've loved and appreciated seeing what everyone in the Jamie's Treehouse discord server has been up to!

I will leave you with this moodboard of things that have inspired me lately. If you want links to any of the products, let me know and I will do my best to find them for you! Happy 2021 my friends. Let's go into this year with hearts filled with resilience and hope. 

Let's do this next year together. Sending all the love I have!

-JG ☾