Now Hiring - Chapter 3 (Part One)

Clowntopia: Now Hiring

Chapter 3: Looner’s Collection 

PART ONE: THE INVITATION

By Hugo Prosperio

(inspired by Novadehedgehog)

(here it is, the next full chapter in Looner's saga. Here you will find three delightful clown transformations mixed with shrinking and inflation to spice things up as well as a short inanimate transformation. I am trying a new format of posting, rather than uploading a PDF that has to be downloaded. Let me know what you think of that)

“I like collecting ya’ll in my suspenders” Looner the Clown heard as own voice echoed in his head. A collection would be quite fun. Everyone needs a hobby and collecting shrunken clowns might just be the ticket, he thought to himself. He didn’t have much time to think on it when the store’s tell-tall horn honked loudly, announcing a new customer. 

“A joke shop could be just what I need.” said the young man who entered. He was probably in his late twenties with black hair and a medium build. 

“Well, what do you need?” asked Looner as he overheard the man’s musings. 

“Well, I am hosting a party, and I need some entertainment, some gags, you know. I figured I could get some fun stuff to really make it fun.” 

“Oh, what kind of a party?” Looner asked. 

“A ton of people from school.” he said. He looked to be college aged. “Me and some friends decided to put together the biggest shindig this year.” 

“Well, I’d LOVE to help” Looner said, as he began to think. A party would be an excellent place to form his collection, and not just tiny clowns but all sorts of things and creations. “What’s your name?” 

“Ryan!” he said, shaking the clown’s hand. The clown smiled and squeezed before opening his favorite pouch of magical glittering dust and taking some out, casually sprinkling it on the young man’s head. 

“Well Ryan, you invite me over to your party and I’ll make sure you and your friends have a night like nothing they’ve ever seen.” 

Ryan felt odd, his mind a jumble. He looked at the clown and smiled. “Yeah, that’d be great. You could do your magic on all the guests.” he said. 

Magic? What did he mean by that? Visions of Looner doing his amazing and decidedly devious tricks began to fill his head. This clown could alter the lives of everyone he met, but this did not worry Ryan, no, it excited him thanks to the dust that Looner had used. 

“I could. You just have to ask me very nicely.” he said. 

The young man blinked, and let out a big grin. “Pretty please come to the party and transform me and my friends as you see fit!” 

“You got it!” Looner said with a delighted giggle. “And why don't we get the party started right now, with you” he said, watching the dust’s magic really begin to take hold. 

The man didn’t seemed worried at all, and in fact, his face filled with delight at the suggestion. 

“I get to be transformed?” He asked, giddy. 

“Sure do, Buddy. You get to help me kick start my collection” 

“What kind of collection?” he asked dim wittedly. His skin was glowing a certain color which let Looner know that his spell had reached full potential. 

“Well, mostly right now it’s shrunken clowns. Say, wouldn’t you like to shrink for me?” he asked the man. 

“Oh boy would I!” he said excitedly. 

“Then do it. Shrink.” Looner commanded. 

The man’s glow brightened for a moment as he listened to the command and then began to follow it. His body began to get smaller before the eyes of the clown, his t-shirt and jeans growing baggy on him rapidly. 

“I am doing it! I am shrinking for you, mr. Clown.” he said with a giggle in his throat as he watched the room and the clown grow larger. He stepped towards the clown, slipping right out of his socks and sneakers. His pants pooled on the ground and his shirt started to join as he vanished into the billowing clothing. 

“Oh my gosh!” he said as he disappeared. 

Looner chuckled to himself and reached into the pile of discarded clothing and lifted up a now six inch tall man, naked as the day he was born. 

“Look at that, you did a great job!” he said to the man. 

“Thank!” Ryan squeaked as he looked up at the now massive clown. He giggled to himself. He had shrunk just like the man told him. 

“What now? We going to the party?” the small man asked with a dopey grin on his face. 

“Not yet, need to finish you, friend. I think you need a new body shape.” Looner mused. 

“What you thinking, Mr. Clown?” 

“Gain Weight!” he commanded “Like a pear.” 

Ryan barely could react when he glowed again, then suddenly felt bloated. His butt began to swell as did his belly, filling with thick adipose as his body obeyed the command of this delightful clown. His lower body was growing while the upper body was remaining mostly the same, giving him the traditional pear shape that Looner had suggested. It looked very odd on his human body now tiny. His large butt wobbled as he moved around, getting used to this new body, and the sight of it was adorable to Looner, who poked the butt just to watch it wiggle some more. The butt was huge on him, only just beginning to slow it’s growth. 

He laughed at the clown poking him and looked up. 

“What else, Mr. Clown?” 

“Well, grow your feet. A clown needs massive footsies, and you are no exception, even at your size. 

The young man giggled and he looked down to see his feet starting to throb and wiggle about cartoonishly as they stretched forward, growing larger. They also fanned out, getting wider and more silly looking. Soon they were at least four times the size they were originally, and looked rather odd on his tiny body. 

“I’m mostly feet and ass.” he said to the clown as he giggled and slapped his butt. 

“Indeed. I just need you to do one last thing for me before we head to the party.” Looner stated to Ryan. 

“Anything, sir.” Ryan gleefully responded. 

“I need you to become a doofy looking clown. Do it now.” the clown said with a large grin. 

The man suddenly began to spin around, quickly, his body wobbling and shaking as it did, until he was a tiny blur on the counter. Looner watched as his skin turned white, giving the impression of a snowy tornado zooming around in front of him. 

When he stopped spinning, the man had a tall tube of green hair, which added about two inches to his height, and his skin had indeed become very white. He giggled as his lips inflated into a thick wide smile that took up most of his head. His ears doubled in size as well, while his fingers had merged and thickened into fat toonish hands that he wiggled about with a giggle. 

Looner grabbed the man’s shirt and shoes and lifted them up to the table and sprinkled his magical glitter on them and watched them shrink rapidly. The shirt was also becoming a jumpsuit, something that would fit the man’s entire body, while the shoes shrank to fit his size, but also became much more clown like, even gaining squeakers. He helped Ryan slide into the outfit, the jumpsuit was green and covered in red and orange polka dots ,while the shoes were purple with green stripes. 

“I look super!” he shouted. 

“Indeed. Now we are ready to go to the party.” Looner giggled. 

Just outside the store, a young woman sat waiting for her boyfriend who had entered to buy some stuff for their party. The door swung open, and out stepped a rotund clown with a big smile on his face. 

“You aren’t Ryan. Did you see my boyfriend in there?” she asked. 

“Why yes! Here he is.” Looner mused with a grin on his face. He held up his hand, and in the palm was the tiny clown Ryan had become. “Ryan and I had some fun while I accepted his offer to join your party.” 

“Hiya Sweetie!” the tiny clown said with his tiny voice. 

“Ryan!” she shouted. “What did you do to him?” she asked in shock as she leaned in to examine the tiny clown. 

“He asked me to help out with the party, and I said I needed him to be a my test subject. He happily agreed.” the clown noted. “He did everything I asked. He responds to my every command, watch this.” he giggled as he looked down at the clown in his hand. 

“Yes, Mr. clown?” Ryan said. 

“Show her what it’s all about.” 

Ryan nodded and poked his girlfriend's nose with his thick finger. “Alakazam, Alakaweenie, You will now be super teeny!” 

She looked at him with a confused glare, but then felt something jolt inside her, and then the world began to rapidly expand. She was shrinking faster than Ryan had, her sundress and sandals hitting the floor in a pile with a loud thump. Looner smiled and leaned over and grabbed her out of the clothing and placed her in his palm next to her boyfriend. She was about a head taller than he was now, but still shrinking. She looked at her boyfriend in his strange morphed state and watched him start to get bigger than her as she continued to dwindle. 

“No! Stop this!” she said as she reached his waist. 

“You know Ryan, you still don’t have a clown nose.” Looner said. “Make her your clown nose.” he commanded, and Ryan’s magic spell took hold once more and he giggled looking down at his shrunken lady. “Hocus Pocus, Abracadabra, gonna make ya a nose and grab ya” he said as he poked her head. 

Her head pushed downward as her body began to swell outward into a round shape, her limbs sucking inward as she shrunk even more. Now the magic that was coursing through her was starting to make her mind swim and fall apart. She looked down at her now entirely round body, admiring how her breasts had flattened out and she was smooth all around. Her arms and feet began to suck into her bloated form and vanish as her skin began to take on a red tone, looking very rubbery. 

“Oh you look marvelous. One last push should do.” Ryan said as he took his large finger and pressed on her head which was swallowed by her round body, leaving only a small indent where his finger had been. A small giggle could be heard from the rubber red ball that continued to shrink. He bent over and picked up the small orb and popped it onto his still human shaped nose and completed his transformation into a silly little clown. On his face, the nose looked to be softball sized, taking up much of his view, but he liked it and he felt his girlfriend squirm a bit, enjoying her new form as much as he was. 

Looner chuckled and nodded in approval. “Ryan, you for sure are a keeper. Welcome to the collection, buddy.” he said 

Ryan simply clapped his hands in joy. “I am so happy.” 

Looner grabbed the front of his suspenders and dropped Ryan in, the small clown tumbling into the colorful world of fabric and bloated clown belly. He landed on the soft belly and began to bounce with a joyful giggle, and Looner let out his own laugh as he felt the tickles of this small clown moving about. 

Reaching into the back of his suspenders he pulled out what appeared to be a toy ray gun and smirked as he looked at the traffic driving down the road. He eyed one young man driving by who gave him an odd glance out of the window of his red car. Looner aimed at the car and fired the gun, and the car was swallowed up in a green glow and began to change quickly. It changed color from red to a bright and glowing yellow shade. The car looked less like a modern car and more like an old cab from the 1940s. It had more cartoonish proportions. Big tires and the trunk was huge, like a big butt. The car then spun around in place as it reduced in size, stopping at about the size of a large beach ball. 

Looner walked up and waved at the driver, who was now a small clown sitting in the front of the car. He had a long tube like nose that stuck out the window and he grinned with huge teeth. 

“Hello there, sir, you looking for a ride?” the clown said. Looner admired his blue hair with a bald spot in the center, similar to his own hair. 

“Yessir, I got a party to go to.” Looner said. 

“Let’s get goin, then!” the driver said as the back door opened and Looner put his foot in and found himself sucked into the car. 

He laid into the horn and the tiny car honked as it sped off. 

It wasn’t long before the arrived at the fraternity house that Ryan belonged to. He stepped out of the car and then aimed the raygun back at it again, this time the light reducing the car to an even smaller size. Soon it was smaller than the average hot wheels toy car and Looner grabbed it with his fingers. 

“I’ll need another ride later, so I’m gonna add you to the collection, hope you don’t mind.” he said, dropping the car and the driver into the back pocket of the overalls. 

He pulled out Ryan and smiled. “Look! We made it, Buddy!” 

“Hooray! This party is going to be the best ever.” the small clown said with enthusiasm. As they approached the door. When it opened, the young man at the door looked at the clown oddly. 

“Can I help you.” 

“I think you’ll find that this small fellow is your friend Ryan and he invited me to help with the party you are throwing tonight.” Looner said as he held his hand out. Ryan waved and his friend leaned into examine the shrunken clown. 

As he did, he saw something in the clown that made it clear the clown was not lying. His best friend, and one part of the trio planning this evening's festivities was now a tiny clown sitting in the open palm of a much larger clown. 

“Woah. Ryan, what happened?!” he said, in awe and amazement at his friend’s metamorphosis.  He did not see Looner preparing something. 

“The clown made me fun and silly and he’s gonna do the same to all of us here at the party.” he giggled. 

“So Ryan tells me you and your gal pal are his cohorts for this fine evening?” Looner asked as he brandished his toy raygun from earlier and grinned as he fiddled with the dials. 

“Um. Yes. Sandra and I thought a party would be good, and Ryan hooked us up with the frat house.” 

“Nice of you, little fella.” he said to the clown in his hand as they entered into the main entry hall of the house, shutting the door behind him. On the table next to the door was a bowl meant for the keys of those were attending the party, to prevent drunk driving, and Looner set the clown next to the bowl as he turned his attention to the current human. 

“You are gonna love what Looner has in store, James.” 

“How did you do that to him? I saw him an hour ago and he was my height and not...a clown” he said with hesitation. 

“Well, you see, James, to explain what it is I do, it’s best to show you.” Looner giggled as he aimed his toy gun and fired. 

The light from the gun surrounded the young man, and Looner watched as he tried to figure out just what was happening. Jake grabbed his head as it felt strange and suddenly he was grabbing thin air, as his hands suddenly were much higher above his head. When the light subsided, Jake looked around at a much larger room, but Looner and Ryan saw the truth, his head had shrunk dramatically, now about the size of a golf ball, sitting atop his still normal body. 

Ryan laughed hysterically at his friend who just stood there confused until Looner pulled him over to a mirror. His reflection made him shriek but the voice that came out of his mouth was small and squeaky. “What did you do to me?!” he screamed. 

“I demonstrated my talents.” Looner said simply. 

“Turn it back right now!” he said as forcefully as he could manage with his modified voice 

“Well, the gun is set to random, so I don’t know what firing it will do to you. It could turn you back, but…” 

“Then do it!” he said, louder than one might expect. 

“You asked.” Looner giggled as he pulled the trigger, aiming at the young man once more. This time, the green light from the ray gun was a lot stronger, and Jake felt his entire body shift downward, but his height hadn’t really changed if he’d look. He’d just had his legs suck into his body, leaving just his feet at the bottom. 

“What the hell!?” he shouted as his feet felt strange, straining his socks as they began to expand. Huge feet split the fabric and burst out into the cold air of the room, sliding across the floor as they widened and expanded to quite a large size. 

“I told you it’s random, but this is a hell of a test of this baby’s powers.” he said with a grin as he aimed again. 

“NO!” the changing man shouted as the gun went off and this time he felt his whole body starting to swell up into a much rounder shape, like he was turning into an inflated ball. His pants had slid off due to the loss of his legs, but now his shirt was riding up. Looner laughed as he watched the man’s backside inflate too, making the round shape absorb his whole body. He sat about two feet off the ground now, and his body was at least twice as wide as he was tall. He felt dizzy and lightheaded from so many blasts of the gun’s power in a row, and he sat there looking up at Looner and simply muttered “Why?” 

“Because it’s fun, and because we need to set the mood of this party.” The clown said. “One last blast, full power.” he said as he pulled the trigger one last time. The glow was blinding to all who looked, and inside the light, Jake could be heard moaning. 

When the light dissipated, there stood a finished clown. He was two feet tall, a orb like body that was four feet wide, clad in a tight jumpsuit that showed off his form (and wiggly rump) Below his body were massive feet clad in silly sneakers, and his arms had joined his legs, vanishing into the form of the man, now clown, leaving hands that had inflated to twice their size flapping at his side. His tiny head now had a tiny hairdo, a swirl of green hair into a tube atop his dome. His face had a small red orb where his nose had been and a big smile stretched across the small head. 

“Jake, do you feel better now?”

“Gosh, I do feel something.” he squeaked. 

“Well” Looner said as he picked up the new clown and placed him on a table before providing him with a turntable and speakers. “You spin the tracks with your big ol tootsies, and this party will really be jammin’” he said. The clown nodded and began to look through his tracks that he could play, sliding off his shoes and wiggling his nimble toes. 

“A great start to the party, I think.” He said to himself as he waited for guests to arrive. 

TO BE CONTINUED