CC 11: Thunderplump ~ Sixteen!

Literally bouncing off the walls, Joe flung himself through the open area in an attempt to catch up to the leopard and join his friend in taking it down. As the flicking tail of the Boss Monster came into view, the Ritualist sent out his orbs and struck from behind. To his surprise, the creature didn't move, instead flexing its body and taking four strikes while preparing a pounce.

Damage dealt: 892 mixed damage!

Jaxon came into view, standing calmly in front of the leopard, his expression a wild mixture of anticipation and bubbling enthusiasm. The great beast leapt, a menacing twenty-foot-tall, sixty-foot-long missile of pure muscle and fury. For a moment, it appeared like the Verglas Leopard was going to go over the obstacle in its path, as it seemed less interested in a duel as it was in getting to—and destroying—the Town Hall.

Fortunately, Jaxon had other plans.

The Chiropractor leaned forward so far that it appeared he was about to collapse to the ground, but just before he struck the surface of the snow, his grin widened to a full-on maniacal smile, and his legs began to pump. He bolted forward, ducking under the extended claws and snapping jaw, aiming a series of jabs at its belly as it sailed over him. There was a flash of metal then a splash of blood that coated the cheerful man from head to toe.

“Ooh, the needle is still useful at this rank. Interesting. I had thought I’d have trouble opening your hide, but I unzipped you like I do my pants before stepping closer to the urinal!” Jaxon’s taunt went ignored as the boss scrambled to keep moving. “Are we running? Wait! A rib bone is showing! I need to study that.”

As Joe got closer, Jaxon moved so abruptly that the bald man lost sight of him. By the time the Ritualist found his friend again, he was above the cat and allowing his hands to shift into their new Living Weapons form. As if he were doing upside down dumbbell flys, the Chiropractor clapped his hands together on either side of the leopard’s neck. This allowed the adolescent hydra heads to begin pumping their paralytic toxins into the beast, forcing the cat to release a growl of pain and displeasure.

Only managing a few additional steps, the boss tipped and fell, already twitching and thrashing as its massive Constitution score forced the paralytic to weaken and dilute faster than it would on any lesser being. Joe's hopes that his friend would use the opportunity to end the beast were dashed as Jaxon pulled his hands back and shouted at them. “That will only hold it for a few seconds! Quick! Count its vertebrae!”

Then the snake-like fingers wiggled across the body of the massive beast, pressing against various bone structures, feeling gaps and protuberances, and only every once in a while sneaking a bite of tasty flesh. “Jaxon! Don't play with your food!”

“Abyss! He’s getting closer! Joe doesn’t stop my fun, exactly, but he changes it. Faster, fingers!” The snaky fingers redoubled their efforts, but Jaxon was thrown into the air as the cat regained its footing and pushed upward, bucking him off before starting to run—albeit at a much slower pace.

Joe Omnivaulted past Jaxon, spinning up his Ritual Orbs and launching a Dark Lightning Strike on the slightly maimed creature. Other than a deep hiss of displeasure, there was no visual reaction from the boss. Clearly, the toxins had mostly worked themselves out, because its speed increased.

“Whoa there, we’re not done!” Jaxon flashed past Joe, sprinting in a serpentine pattern that allowed him to dodge past the tree-trunk-esque legs of the boss. Arriving at the side of the creature, he reached out to grab it, only to trip and fall, bouncing off the ground in a burst of snow.

“Abyss, Jaxon!” Joe bellowed in annoyance as his friend once more failed to do lasting damage. His words trailed off as Jaxon twisted in the air, grabbing onto the lengthy tail of the leopard just before it went past him. Then his friend got his feet under him and began skiing across the snow, being dragged along at a high enough speed that he kicked up a shower of powder wherever he went.

He couldn't see exactly what the Chiropractor was doing, but a moment later heard, “Adjust!”

Near instantly, the leopard changed its trajectory and slammed face-first into the wall. Now that it was completely stopped, arrows began striking it from above with pinpoint accuracy, and a half-dozen spells blasted against its skull. Jaxon burst out of the snow a moment later, rushing over to Joe and sliding to a stop next to him. “Joe! As it turns out, they use their tails like rudders! Change the direction of the tail, change the direction of the cat. Easy enough. Sadly, not all that different from the lesser versions. Still, I'm one step closer to being a Grandmaster, so that made this little jaunt worthwhile.”

“Glad you're happy, Jaxon.” A particularly impressive Dwarf jumped off of the wall, spinning end over end while holding a massive broadsword. The stocky individual let out a deep bellow, sword cleaving out and removing the leopard's head as the final hit. “Looks like we’re done here; let's go clean up the rest of the monsters and see what sort of damage got done to the outer barricades.”

“Nah, I’ve got lunch plans.” Jaxon waved as he started back into Town. “Don't forget to grab something for yourself; you can't live on coffee alone! Fun fact, most animals can't eat coffee beans in the first place, caffeine is just jitter-inducing poison. Kinda like feeding chocolate to dogs—it’s not a great look.”

“I can and I will live off coffee!” Joe retorted instantly, holding up a mug and having it filled by Mate in the same second. He lifted the drink at the fallen boss, paying his respects to it, then tipped back the coffee and drank deep. “At least, someday my Constitution will be high enough that I can live on coffee alone.”

As the hot drink warmed him from the inside, Joe hesitated. His plan of going back to the outer walls suddenly seemed… inadequate. There were plenty of people who could fix up any damage, and literally thousands of Dwarves and humans that were fighting against the monsters directly. There were better things that he could be doing to help. The Ritualist looked back longingly but walked into Town, following Jaxon's footsteps through the fresh snow.

His destination was the greenhouse, where he hoped Herby Thymebeard would be stationed. Otherwise, Joe had no idea how he was going to be able to find the Dwarf. A small flash of inspiration struck him, and he tried to use his Message spell, only for it to return with static the same moment he sent it. The Ritualist clutched at his head, forced to bear the cacophonous noise until it finally cut out. “Ooh-kay, I hope that’s a side effect of attempting to send a Message spell through the greenhouse. Would that be the aspects of scattering coming into play? Well there's a nasty trick I could play on someone if I needed to distract them in combat.”

Happily, it was easy to find the person he needed to speak with. Unfortunately, after initial pleasantries, the Dwarf grabbed him by the back of his neck and his belt, bodily throwing him out of the building after Joe showed him the satchel of seeds. “You outta your mind? Just one of those gets loose in a dungeon-waiting-to-happen like this here greenhouse, and we'll have to blast it with artillery spells until it's nothing more than melted slag!”

Joe had hit the ground and rolled, coming to his feet and not bothering to brush the snow and dirt off of himself; knowing his Neutrality Aura would take care of it. Pausing for a moment, the Ritualist tried to decide if he was getting better at navigating delicate situations, or if he was simply growing accustomed to being thrown around. “Did you at least get a good look at them? Are they safe to use?”

“No, they’re absolutely nowhere near safe.” The Dwarf was still eyeing the satchel with a hearty amount of distrust, so Joe stuffed it in his pouch to get it out of sight. “Also, they’ll do exactly what they say they will. Don't plant those anywhere closer than five miles away from us. If you think dandelions spread quickly, you should see the growth factor those have as an underlying stat. Creatures walking over them are going to cause them to creep closer to the city either way, but… is five miles enough? Make it seven.”

“Or should I just not use them?” Joe questioned the only expert of plants that he knew. “If they’re that dangerous–”

“You should absolutely use them,” Thymebeard told him with a glower. “Just not anywhere closer to us than eight and a half miles.”

“I noticed that the distance keeps increasing…” The Ritualist stated leadingly, earning himself an eye roll and a half from the Dwarf as he threw his hands in the air and returned to his post in the greenhouse. Alone once more, Joe pulled out the satchel and looked at it carefully, making sure there were no holes, and he wasn't leaking the seeds anywhere. “Well… he did say I should absolutely use it. But now I want to be nowhere near it when I do that.”

The seeds were so tiny that, if he didn’t have his Exquisite Shell on, they could easily sit in the fur of his clothing and stay hidden forever. He contemplated the vegetative weapon in his hands and slowly formulated a plan on how to use them.

As there was no time like the present, he hurried over to his workshop and started throwing together a modified Ritual of Bubble Travel. Luckily, the satchel informed him how many seeds exactly were in storage, so he was able to make a plan for perfect distribution.

When everything was completed, he stepped outside of his workshop, only to be greeted by thirty of his Ritualist aspirants. “Ah! Perfect timing! I was just about to activate a ritual, and this would be some great hands-on experience for all of you. Where's everyone else?”

The members of the group grinned weakly, muttering and looking amongst themselves while shuffling in place. Finally, one brave soul shrugged, “Everyone else decided that they'd rather be out there fighting, working on their current classes, than trying to get this one. Lot easier to punch a Penguin in the beak than it is to figure out a star chart and then pay for the privilege of all the materials you need to activate a ritual, just so you can make your ears bleed by using it wrong.”

The human speaking didn't seem to realize that he was being glared at by the Dwarven princess, and Joe decided not to call attention to that fact. “Fair enough. Welp, they miss out! Here! A present for all of you. This is an athame, and is a complex utility item that’s useful immediately for the class. Without having an advanced level in smithing or Ritualistic Forging, you'd be getting one of these only when you could make it.”

There were multiple mutters of appreciation as each of his aspirants took a subtly glowing dagger from the pile. “Consider this a reward for your hard work in mapping out the star clusters you were assigned. Now! Who wants partial kill credit for the rest of the monsters that attack the city?”

That earned him a few confused looks, until the Princess clarified, “You mean the rest of the wave? We got a notice that the Boss Monster had been slain, so it shouldn't be too much longer.”

Joe grinned and held up the ritual tile he’d been working on. “Nope, I mean the rest of the monsters that attack us. Come with me. I’ve got something neat to show you.”