CWD: OE ~ Thirty-Eight

Nacho winced as the first hunger pangs of the Starvation Debuff twisted his guts. The smell inside the cabinet seemed tailor-made to enhance their discomfort: every last inch was crammed with a variety of candies. From knee-high Sweet Tarts to Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups the size of tractor trailer tires, packages of Twix bars stacked like cordwood tempted the ravenous group as they picked their way through the sugary gloom. Entire bags of gummy bears had melted onto plates—surely ruining the dish—tossed next to sacks of off-brand Halloween candy.

Reuben grabbed his wife as soon as he could pry his arms off his own midsection. “Brie, how many Hunger Points do you have?”

“Sixty-one,” the Berserker spoke nonchalantly, immediately changing the subject. “You know that every time I take damage, the System reminds me that I have Melee Munchies, but I can’t use it until I’m within three hundred feet from the Feast Portal?”

Taye wasn’t able to maintain his calm nearly as well. “Abby and I both have sixty-five Hunger Points left.”

Reuben was completely silent, uncharacteristically not making any kind of joke. They were literally counting down the minutes, with no plan in sight. In sixty-one minutes, Brie would lose vital percentages of her Health Points every minute.

Jennifer furrowed her brows. “I have a question about the Starvation Debuff. Can you use your Skill and go negative on purpose? I mean, what if Taye had five Hunger Points left and used his Eagle Aim?”

“Yes.” Nacho wished he didn’t know the answer to the question. “The System will let you go negative. In your scenario, Taye would have negative five Hunger Points, so he’d immediately start losing one-point-two-five percent of his Health Points. Since he has sixty Health, he’d only lose a fraction of Health Points, like point-seven-five or something.”

“No eating,” Brie commanded as they wound their way through the treat-cluttered shelves, “No matter what happens to any of us. We’ve come too far to lose now.”

It took twenty minutes to get to the end of the candy cabinet at a dead sprint. Every five minutes, they’d get a message from the System about the Starvation Debuff. They finally reached another human-sized door on the other side of the cabinet, and Brie bashed it open—Mr. Lacrosse Stick at the ready. On the other side, dimly lit by flickering candlelight, lay a vast table of food. At the center was a turkey, though it could’ve easily been the carcass of a Tyrannosaurus rex roasted to a perfect golden brown.

The entire table was packed with food of all kinds, but mostly it resembled American feasting food: hams, turkeys, green bean casserole with the fried onions, a variety of potatoes and casseroles of all persuasions.

It truthfully wasn’t that far from the cabinet to the table. They could probably run it in ten minutes if there was a path. Unfortunately, only open air hung between their position and the table itself. Worse, the floor was a mile straight down from where they were standing.

Starvation Debuff! You’ve lost another 5 Hunger Points, Cookie. You’re at 75 Hunger Points. Better eat something quickly! Your future won’t be delicious otherwise!

One glaring issue dominated this moment: namely, the fact that they were in a cabinet, and the table was in the center of the room. Monsters spilled into the room, hundreds if not thousands of the various creatures they had previously fought within the dungeon. One saving grace was that the monsters were milling idly about, seemingly confused at what to do next.

Nacho knew one thing for certain—they could get to the table across the floor, but there would be too many monsters to fight. “We have to create some kind of bridge… maybe we can use the Nerds Ropes I saw in there? We’d have to attach one end in the cabinet, and somehow get the other end to the table. I’m… not exactly sure how to do that.”

“Oh! I know! C’mon!” Taye turned and ran back into the cabinet. “I was right! On the Nerds Rope package, I thought I saw something about a special prize, and look!”

Two boxes of Nerds Ropes were stacked on top of one another, not far from the mid-air exit. The words ‘Special Prize’ dominated the packaging, but the rest of the message was buried behind a pile of giant Kit Kat bars. Nacho pushed the heap aside to see what the special prize was, and he smiled as the words gave him a spark of hope. ‘Miracle arrow inside! For when your Archer is determined to sacrifice hunger points and probably themself to save the day!’

Jennifer’s laugh came out sharp. “Well, that’s oddly specific and ominous.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Taye wasn’t smiling, but there was a fire in his eyes that hadn’t been there a moment before. “Let’s just push the box back to the door. The miracle arrow must work with the Nerds Ropes.”

Nacho had the most Fitness, and he was able to push the top box off the other one. Together, Jennifer, Taye, and Nacho shoved the Nerds Rope box across the floor.

Once they got it moving, it wasn’t hard at all. Stopping near the door, Nacho flayed the packaging open with a flick of his knife. Everyone helped to lift out the lengthy Nerds rope coiled within, setting it carefully to the side. Nacho’s Firefly Potstickers fluttered about inside the box until the cook  saw a plastic package ‘prize’: an arrow and length of steel cable.

Nacho slid the package over to Taye and turned back to face the table. “Get that figured out.”

“I… I just…” The kid was sweating and pale. “I’ve never been this hungry in my life. I can’t believe how good these Nerds smell.”

“I understand more than you could possibly believe.” Reuben swallowed a mouthful of saliva and gestured into the distance. “I do have some good news. On the nearest corner of the table, there’s a metal loop. I think the Patrons are finally giving us a break.”

Nacho wasn’t sure if they could trust that or not. He did know that if the Kronos had given them a gift, that same gift would be given to the CruxTerrans. The Patrons would want to keep things fair, so the betting couldn’t be disputed. Kronos said the stakes were high, and the cook felt that all the way down to his soul.

Taye remained quiet as he went to the doorway and prepared the arrow. A slim silver cable connected to his arrow via a little hoop above the fletching. “It’s a boomerang cable arrow. I got a System message about it. Eagle Aim to hit that loop… here goes ten Hunger Points.”

Like Stephen, Taye was making the sacrifice play. He fired the arrow, and the cable spun out. It streaked down through the metal loop on the table and then came zooming back to them, only to be snatched out of the air by Brie, who held the other end of the silver cable so they wouldn’t lose it.

Brie and Reuben attached the cable to the end of the Nerds Rope, and then the entire crew took hold of the cable and pulled, stretching the Nerds Rope out of the candy cabinet.

Starvation Debuff! You’ve lost another 5 Hunger Points, Cookie. You’re at 60 Hunger Points.

Which meant Brie only had twenty-six minutes left, and Taye… Taye was down to twenty minutes.

Nacho focused on pulling the Nerds Rope through the metal loop on the table. Jennifer moved a package of Twizzlers to make more room and found a metal loop hidden inside the cabinet; the weight of the rope dropped precipitously as soon as they began using it as intended. Every pulley they could manage to include would make the job that much easier.

The rope reached the table, Kristie secured both ends of the cable, and just like that, they had their bridge to the Dining Room of fate.

The Feast Portal had to be somewhere in the middle of all that food, and they needed to run for it. Nacho started directing people, “Brie and Taye should go first-"

“No. You and Jennifer should go first,” Brie countered instantly. “You’re our Tier twos, and you need to find that portal, not wait on us. No argument.”

Nacho wasn’t about to disagree with the Berserker—especially when she was correct. He looked down at the Nerds Rope. His first instinct was to crawl across the candy, but he needed to move, and move now. “Time to put these ridiculous stat points to good use.”

Slicing open a ring pop candy, he smashed the candy portion and sprinted at the nerds rope with the plastic ring held above his head. He didn’t look down, only jumped over the rope and used the split in the bottom portion of the ring to form a makeshift zipline. Having used his momentum to good effect, he clattered down the rope faster than he could have hoped to run, dangling underneath the sweet candy cable as he shot across the chasm.

Deciding against looking down and amping up his anxiety over hungry monsters watching him and hoping he would fall, Nacho surveyed the room instead, and his eyes took in a bittersweet sight. The CruxTerrans were in view. Nacho could see Arriod and his people standing in their corresponding little doorway on the opposite wall, but they hadn’t created their bridge yet. “Finally, some good news.”

Nacho made it to the table and swung himself up. A whole variety of giant, mouthwatering dishes confronted him with incredibly potent, enticing scents.

Congratulations, Cookie! You made it to the Dining Room Table first. You get a million credits! The game isn’t over. The first player through the Feast Portal wins their World’s First Round of the Juxtaposition! Good luck!

Nacho barely listened to the *cha-ching* of the credits hitting his account, not caring about them even one little bit in that moment. He spun to check on his people, relief flooding him at the sight of them following as quickly as they could. Jennifer led the way, followed by Brie, Taye, and Abby. Those three had to get over before they lost all their Hunger Points and passed out.

Nacho felt a wave of hunger hit him, and his knees buckled.

Starvation Debuff! You’ve lost another 5 Hunger Points, Cookie. You’re at 50 Hunger Points. Better eat soon! Or your future won’t be delicious!

Nacho unclenched his body, and saw something that made his blood run cold. One of Arriod’s people flew through the air clutching a length of candy rope. He soared down and threaded it through the metal loop on the CruxTerran side of the table.

Arriod and his soldiers had a bridge of their own.

Their teleporter was making his way back across the gap, flashing through the air until he managed to get to the other side.

Arriod and his soldiers didn't crawl across their Nerds Rope. They sprinted. The teleporter and the flying guy ran for the big, roasted carcass of the main dish at the feast, drawing Nacho’s attention to the purple Portal in the backside of the giant stuffed turkey. He’d found the Feast Portal—only about a quarter of a mile away—but so had the CruxTerrans. They would both need to run the same distance on an intersecting path to reach the portal, but only one person needed to get there in order to win.

Leaving his team behind in a flash of desperation, Nacho ran for all the worth he could get out of his stats, faster than any other human at his level… on the ground.

Even so, he could tell that the flying guy would get there first.

Nacho didn’t exactly have a lot of ranged attack options, but he did have something new up his sleeve; or rather, near his pant leg. As their paths came closer together, he timed Mr. Wingsuit’s trajectory and kicked out his foot right as the flying guy passed overhead. A wave of boiling gravy arced into the CruxTerran’s flight path, and time seemed to pause as the System let him know that Active Combat had started.

The brown gravy splashed across the face of the highly-focused man, who let out a surprised yelp, falling to the ground in a splash of gravy and red-hot armor.

Damage Dealt: 40/60.

Nacho saw that the man only had twenty Health remaining, and he knew he could practically kill the downed CruxTerran with a thought. The flying guy struggled to get to his feet, nearly managing to straighten until an arrow *thudded* into his back. With a grunt, he fell face first onto the dining room table. Everything he'd stashed in his Storage Slots came spilling out, proving he was dead beyond a shadow of a doubt, and that Taye had earned the credits for the kill.

Before the cook could get excited about the small victory, the teleporter appeared about twenty feet in front of him. Apparently, he couldn't just jump to the Feast Portal, revealing that his range seemed to be limited. Still, he had a slight advantage.

Nacho chased after him, thundering between a quivering plate of canned cranberries and a massive tray of Stovetop stuffing. He felt a wave of gratitude at the familiar sensation of Reuben’s Positive Vibes as his best friend helped from afar.

His Gravy Boot attack was all used up, so there was only one thing he could do. He snatched his Skillet of Turtling off his back, tacky with congealed gravy, and flung it like a vertical frisbee. “I cast iron!”

The skillet went spinning through the air, powered by his superhuman strength, and struck the teleporter in the back of the neck, sending him reeling into a plate of canned cranberry sauce.

Damage Dealt: 12/60.

Using a skillet as a weapon was only really effective as a means to knock someone over, but that was all Nacho needed. The teleporter tried to regain his feet, but he slipped on the gelatinous cranberry sauce and fell onto his back.

The cook didn’t bother finishing him off, scooping up his skillet and attaching it to his back as he continued running toward the Portal that was still probably about a football field away. The popping purple light of the Feast Portal filled the air with a tantalizing roasted turkey scent that any good marketing agent would desperately want the rights for. His stomach ground out a fresh wail of protest as the teleporter appeared right behind Nacho and pulled him down with a lasso.

His legs were exposed, and the teleporter had tangled his ankles with a scarlet energy whip, but the damage done was merely glancing.

Health Remaining: 70/70! Damage doesn’t meet the threshold! Rebounding…!

Damage dealt: 12 slashing!

The CruxTerran screamed and turned to teleport as a bright line appeared on his face where Nacho’s aura had returned the damage he would have taken. Nacho knew he couldn’t let the man go: it might take a couple of jumps to get to the Portal, but he’d get there.

A glowing lacrosse ball struck the table nearby, sending both men flailing away as it detonated. Brie’s attack had hurt Nacho, but he was still alive, even if slightly dazed. Following in the ball's wake, the Berserker sped toward Nacho with bare feet and shredded armor. Well, she’d always hated that armor anyway. His addled mind made him wonder what had happened, and he hoped he would get a chance to hear the story.

Nacho turned in time to see Arriod’s katana slashing toward his stomach, almost in slow motion as adrenaline flooded his brain. A whirlwind of power swept around him, diverting the sword from giving Nacho an unwanted appendectomy.

Brie had used her Defensive Whirl to save Nacho’s life, but now she had less than two minutes of positive Hunger remaining. She continued to run toward him, clearly hoping she could get close enough to the Portal to regain Hunger Points.

Arriod staggered back as his attack failed, but he pointed at Brie with his left hand and closed his fist. With that simple motion, she fell to the ground, sending Mr. Lacrosse Stick sliding across the table. The Berserker went pale and heaved for air. Nacho knew that look: she was starving.

Before he could follow up on his successful ambush, Arriod was sent staggering back as pink missiles and purple grenades began to rain down on his head. His was sizzling, but the CruxTerran healed himself using his Paladin powers.

“That’s fine. Just fine.” Nacho unsheathed his cleaver and chef’s knife. “I’m going to cut you into lots of little pieces all by myself.”

“You can’t hurt me,” Arriod replied in such a calm tone that Nacho almost found himself believing his enemy.

“That’s okay. I’ll just practice cutting you until I can do it.” Nacho sank into a predator’s stance and stalked toward the Paladin. “Then I’ll practice chopping your severed limbs up until I can get the meat cubes ju~ust right. Practice makes better.”

Something in the cook's eyes must have unnerved the CruxTerran, because he didn’t waste another second on grandstanding. He made another fist motion at Nacho, and the cook doubled over as he suffered through a pain in his stomach. A new message, one he’d never seen before, flashed through his mind.

Warning, Player! You have lost 20 Hunger Points due to Arriod’s Hunger Strike!

Damage done, and leaving Nacho trying to recover from the twisting pain in his gut, Arriod sprinted toward the Feast Portal.