CWD: OE ~ Thirty-Six

They ran to catch up to the group, and Nacho called for everyone to stop. A few of them were so tired that simply standing still was enough to make them collapse to the ground, barely awake. “Put all your swords, daggers, pocket knives—anything with a blade—down on the ground. I’m going to try something.”

Brie was the first to move, though all she had was a tiny dagger. Jennifer produced various little knives she used for cutting up the ingredients she put into her drinks. Taye set out his backup dagger, and soon the pile was fairly substantial. Seeing everything was ready for him, Nacho laid the Cry Chef’s Knife onto the counter, and held the Hunger Cleaver in the air. He slammed the cleaver down, choosing to use his Razor-Sharp Wit enhancement on it, boosting the base damage by ten, along with an extra twenty-nine because of the level of his Small Blades ability.

Nacho quickly bought the Tier two Forever Sharp enhancement and added it to his knives. The Hunger Cleaver flashed… as did the Cry Knife! Flakes of metal fell from all the other blades in the pile. “Did it-”

Clever for yourself, Cookie, but ultimately futile for the others. The Forever Sharp enhancement has been added to the Cry Chef’s Knife, complete with the Razor-Sharp Wit bonus. You might even call it the Forever Razor-Sharp Wit boost. Both blades are supernaturally sharp, and those other knives will never get dull again, but the fact is: they aren’t ancient artifacts of saucy slicing. No juicy damage bonus for them!

Stephen picked up his huge two-handed sword and swung it around. “Uh, I think it feels sharper? I guess I won’t know until I hit something with it.”

Even though his experiment had failed to help his team very much, Nacho was feeling good. He now had two weapons that could deal as much damage as Mr. Lacrosse Stick.

Nacho quickly described the results of his upgrade to the rest of the Snack Attack, but Brie merely closed her eyes and shook her head. “Nacho… we don’t have time for all this. It’s at least another hour to the Stove. We’re going to get hit with the Starvation Debuff.”

The cook was suddenly completely somber, staring into the haggard faces of his friends as he remembered the situation they were in. They were stuck on an endless countertop, probably halfway between the sink and the stove. Taye got a wistful look on his young face. “The Patrons created this entire pocket dimension, every aspect of the Starvation Dungeon. They planned this. They made this place so enormous that they could keep us walking for hours on end, so we’d start taking Starvation Debuffs. They want us to get to the Dining Room Table on the edge of death.”

“We can’t eat,” Nacho reminded them as everyone started running. “No matter what.”

“Zero-sum game,” Kristie breathlessly called out between massive strides. “I hate those. I like it when everyone can win.”

“That just isn’t natural, kiddo,” Abby grunted in reply, “It’s not enough for some people to win. Some people can only feel like they’ve won if someone else loses. Sad but true.”

Nacho had a couple of more things to do, remembering that an effect of his boots had unlocked, now that he was level twenty. He took a look, only to have tiny fireworks explode above his head.

Congratulations, Nacho! You’ve hit Level 20 and discovered the secret of your boots! Fill your boots with gravy, then fling that gravy with deadly results! Yes, you can kick your enemies to death up close or from a distance! Both attacks are valid, and both will include a deadly gravy spray! You’ll deal twice your class level in gravy damage. To use, you must first fill your gravy boats with Store Gravy based on your level, or maybe you’ll find a recipe to make scalding hot gravy on your own!

Note: Your boots have been automatically upgraded to Tier 2. Any piece of the Sunday Brunch Armor exposed to—and coated in—the gravy from the Gravy Boots will enjoy protection from destruction while upgrading!

Nacho browsed the Store while they moved, easily finding the military-grade gravy from the Store. He bought the Epic rarity version from the Store and loaded the Tier two class item into the tubes on the side of the boots, finally realizing what they were for. Moments later, he felt the hot gravy soak into his socks and warm his feet. It actually felt… good, if slightly stomach-churning. “Where was this when we fought our way through the freezer?”

He took a minute to practice flinging gravy, twisting his back heel and loading the little cups on top of his feet. Nacho then kicked the gravy out, and a wave of brown went gushing across the countertop; leaving wood that smoked and *sizzled*. If he dealt twice his level in damage, that meant just the gravy attack alone would hit for forty Health Points. He’d only get one kick per can of the sauce, but it was a nice little sneak attack.

Stripping off the Sunday Brunch Armor, he stopped completely and set it out on the counter as the rest of his team continued running. He kicked gravy out of his boots onto the various pieces, getting at least two cups out of each boot. He felt… very silly.

He watched as the gravy cooled on his Helm of Boiling, Skillet of Turtling, Wok of Blocking, Pauldrons of Frying, and Gauntlets of Oven Taming. It took a few interminable seconds for the gravy to cool off enough to touch, and he smeared the fragrant juice across every surface. In one moment, he almost instinctively licked his finger, but he froze in horror with the digit almost in his mouth. “No. Eating.”

Choosing to pay the exorbitant fee to upgrade his gear, Nacho winced in expectation of an explosion.

Like your armor, Cookie? We do too! We like a cook in heavy metal, but you aren’t a cook anymore. You are a Subpar Sous Chef. Keep that gravy on, and let it do its magic. We’ll work on getting your armor to Tier 2.

Trust us.

What could go wrong?

Nacho glowered at his gear. He would never trust the Patrons.

However, his team was getting further away with each passing second. He strapped everything back on, feeling super gross. He didn’t just smell like old Resent-o-potamus meat; now he was covered in a layer of greasy meat sauce. Sighing at what his life had turned into, he bought more of the magical gravy and re-loaded his boots.

Sighing in mild disgust, he tested out his full thirty points in every characteristic, hurtling toward his team so fast that a normal person would have had their skin distended from the G-forces he was generating. Each step was a leap, every leap was a ballista bolt being released. In only a few moments, he was not only past his friends; he was in front of them and needing to slow down.

Taye sniffed the air, eyed the cook, and decided against saying anything. By the time they reached the Stove, they only had a half an hour before the Starvation Debuff would go into effect. In thirty minutes, they would start losing a Hunger Point every minute until they went negative. Most of the Snack Attack would have an hour and forty minutes of life from that moment on, but Brie, Abby, and Taye were literally and figuratively on the chopping block, with only an hour and ten minutes before they permanently collapsed.

Using his speed, he rushed forward to survey the landscape in front of them and choose a path. There were nine burners in all—three rows of three. The middle row was completely black, but Nacho could faintly see a glow of red swirling heating elements underneath the glass. A moment later, he could see it even better: that red glow was getting brighter. Even from here, the cook could feel the heat, and it was quickly growing uncomfortable.

To his ever-increasing annoyance, Nacho was both gravy-coated and sweaty.

Both the front row and the back row were gas burners, but they were off. For now. Six aluminum-foil covered pans occupied the dormant front and back burners. They looked so familiar, but Nacho couldn’t quite place them. Brie pointed with her lacrosse stick. “I don’t see any controls, and I don’t like those pans and that aluminum foil. What are they?”

“Jiffy Pop!” Abby called loudly and happily. “That’s popcorn in there, and… well, I’m betting some monsters as well. We have to get across the burners, but I don’t know how. I guess maybe we should try walking down the front or the back? Brie’s right. I don’t see the controls; Patrons musta learned from the sink.”

Stephen marched forward, headed toward the back row of gas burners with the covered pans there. “Let’s just see what happens.”

Before they could stop him, the red-armored Body Player approached the first pan, and gas exploded with blue fire both in the front and the back.

Stephen was thrown back, and he lifted his wrist, displaying a nasty burn that covered him from finger to elbow. Even his hair was smoldering a bit.

Hello, Players! It’s Active Combat again! There won’t be Store access, and you won’t get your Regens. You just might get a hot, greasy treat! Or something cold and somewhat moldy. Scratch-Bite is mad that you killed his Grease Slime friends, so we’re giving him a speed boost until he catches up! Better hurry; we’re pretty sure you are all getting hungry, and that’s not the way to make your future delicious!

Nacho felt the big guy’s Positive Vibes give him a nice, cozy glow. Everyone else felt it too, going by the way their skin illuminated. The cook turned back to discover the Godking of Scrub Sponges skating toward them, only with each step, it was squirting water, enabling it to slip and slide across the countertop.

The sink had clearly overflowed, because a good portion of the counter was wet. In the distance, Nacho could hear water hitting the floor. Soon the sound of the overflowing waterfall was eclipsed by the popcorn heating in the first two Jiffy Pop pans, one on his left and one on his right.

*Pop!*

*Pop!*

With every explosion that could make a hardened artilleryman grin, the aluminum-foil expanded a little further. It took mere moments for the entire place to smell like a movie theater as a mist of hot buttered popcorn blew in on the wind.

Nacho crept forward and cursed Uber his breath when he spotted the controls embedded in the glass of that treacherous central electric stove lane. To his surprise, there was a diagram explaining how to turn on the front and back burner, which would turn off the central burner. But… the read-out was marked by a single exclamation point burning a cheery crimson.

He understood the diabolical nature of the trap: Stephen had accidentally attempted to circumnavigate the System by deviating from the path. That set off the gas burners, and now the heat blazing across that first burner would kill them if they tried to cross. The same could be said about the gas burners in the front and back row.

Stephen hadn’t known what he was doing, and Nacho tried not to hold it against him… but the man might’ve just killed them all.