CWD: OE ~ Thirty-Three

“It’s hour eighteen in the Starvation Dungeon, and no one is losing Hunger Points yet.” Nacho looked around to confirm the accuracy of his assertion. “It’s only a matter of time, so we need to hurry. We can… we’ll honor the fallen after we make sure that we are going to make it through this.”

Brie and Abby both had used their abilities, which meant they had fewer Hunger Points to spare and would suffer a faster death than the others if they failed to reach safety in time. The Berserker was lucky that her Athletic Endurance ability reduced the Metabolic Cost of her skills by thirty-eight percent, but that wouldn’t mean a thing long-term if they were too slow.

With those cheery thoughts in mind, they started filing across the filth-encrusted butcher block countertop, which led to the putrid lake they’d seen from the top of the fridge. As far as they could tell from here, there was no way to get across the sink except for swimming; and that seemed… inadvisable.

Brie jogged to the edge of the counter as the others were mentally preparing to continue their forced run. The Berserker came back with bad news, her grim expression set in stone. “Even if we had our rope, there’s no way it would reach all the way down to the linoleum. It looks like we need to head for the sink.”

“The sink, it is.” Reuben’s acquiescence was uncharacteristically mellow, bordering on depressed. Nacho’s arm snaked out and he grabbed his friend, pulling him in for a quick, quiet talk.

“I totally get it. Right now, we’re running on minimal sleep, no food, and we’re losing friends.” Reuben began to squirm in the Guild Leader’s grip, but Nacho wasn't letting go. “But let me tell you something. If they see that their leaders, the people they are looking to for direction, are starting to collapse under the weight of all of this… it will break them.”

Only then did he let go, and even if Reuben glared at Nacho, he understood and took the advice. Taking a deep breath, he forced a grin onto his face and called out heroically with a dramatic point “To the sink!”

“Onward! To the sink!” Jennifer echoed him with a raised Sewer Skewer. That reminded Nacho that he could recall the ones that they’d… used… to his bandolier. Holding one of the weapons in his hand as a focus, he was able to recall all of the others directly to his person. The Brewer observed the process with blatant excitement. “Whoa! What? I want some recalling weapons!”

“I know, I know.” Nacho preened under the attention, glad to have a new topic to latch onto. “It’s amazing. Take half of these to use with your throwing ability, would you?”

The Brewer gladly accepted the skewers, and Nacho watched them go with a smile. Having someone with a skill dedicated to throwing satiation items guaranteed that they would be put to good use. It didn't hurt that he had demonstrated he could get them back whenever he wanted.

They hurried forward with renewed determination, and Nacho knew that even though people wanted to talk about Steve, they needed to focus on the living first. Due to their minuscule size, it took them a full two hours to cross the cutting board and reach the sink. Kristy’s voice was stressed as she pointed out that a countdown timer that appeared in their vision, now intermittently flashing red. “Only four hours to get into the Dining Room? Are we-”

“We’ll make it,” Brie interrupted her firmly. Just then, they came within hearing distance of the *ploink, ploink, ploink* of a leaky faucet the size of Niagara Falls.

When they reached the sink’s edge, they found that the sink took up the entire width—from the wall to the very edge of the counter. It was a vast expanse of weeks-old dishwater and backed-up drains, if the smell was any indication. Disturbingly multihued scum mottled the surface, like artwork dedicated to the world’s most beloved molds and funguses.

There was one counterpoint to the mess: the faucet was reminiscent of a piece of modern art, hanging over them like the sword of Damocles. Crystal clear fresh water dripped into the morass at regular intervals. The cook noticed that Brie was studying the rhythmic dripping with a considering expression, and she finally turned to Nacho with concern written across her face. “I can’t fight and swim at the same time.”

“No one could ever expect you to do that.” Nacho winced even as he voiced his next question. “Jennifer, is there any possible way that you would be able to purify all that water?”

“Not at that quantity.” The Brewer grimaced apologetically. “I can only clean my level in gallons: in this case, nineteen gallons. Add on the fact that it would take Hunger Points, and I’d rather not play around with it.”

“Look out!” Taye pointed with an arrow that he let fly in the same motion. “Incoming monsters!”

A yellow-green something was streaking toward them through the murk, followed by congealed pools of grease following in its wake.

Greater Grease Slime

Effective Tier/Level:???

HP:?

“Another set of Tier two monsters! Everyone back!” Nacho called out as calmly as he could manage. The System sent them the Active Combat message just as the closest Grease Slime threw out a tentacle faster than a whip crack, grabbing Stephen and hauling him toward the edge.

Kristie flung pink missiles that sizzled through the grimy appendages—which simply reformed and continued pulling without even slowing down. “We’re in trouble; I can’t do enough damage to hurt this thing!”

Stephen was about to be dragged into the water when Jennifer stepped forward and impaled a Sewer Skewer through the tentacle with perfect aim. It dropped Stephen, and Reuben strode forward, ready to heal their friend if needed.

Slimes started *slopping* out of the water, then *slurping* onto the countertop, doing nothing to improve the overall ambience of the location. Stephen had just begun to scramble back when another tentacle latched onto him and dragged him forward. He tried to hack through the tendril, but his sword couldn’t pierce the Tier two protective coating of the greasy slime.

No matter what was thrown, whether lacrosse balls or Mana-made grenades, nothing seemed to work against the collection of slimes. Then came a moment that erased all other thoughts from their mind: They had been so preoccupied with the slimes that they had forgotten to account for the yellow-green something that had been originally leading the charge.

It broke from the surface and slowly slithered onto the counter, draining enough dirty dishwater to wash away the nearest of the slimes. It took a few moments for them to recognize what its original shape had been, simply due to the sheer scale of the creature: a towering kitchen sponge. Moldy yellow in the front, scratchy green matting on the back. It was nothing like the crusty sponge they’d jumped onto—this was visibly full of bacteria and would’ve been thrown away weeks ago in a real house. Yet, here it was, attacking them.

Scratchy green claws extended from yellow spongy arms; oversized webbed hands meant for swimming were instead reaching for their frail human bodies. Obviously pus-leaking legs carried it forward on webbed feet, and it screamed as though its mere existence was pain.

Abby dashed forward and swung her staff, bashing it as hard as she could. She may as well have not bothered to spend the energy with how spectacularly her strike managed to fail, dealing no damage at all. Abrasive claws slashed down her armor, shredding the metal as effortlessly as though it had a second job as a can opener.

Scratch-Bite, the Godking of Scrub Sponges

Effective Tier/Level:????

HP:?

“Those are a lot of question marks… Tier three boss monster!” Nacho called out just in case someone wasn’t looking at it the way he was. Just as the warning left his lips, a tongue lashed out and encircled Jennifer, dragging the Brewer toward its main fanged maw.

At the same time, extra mouths opened across its entire body and coughed out a white phlegm, an explosion of mucus that dealt acid damage—which Nacho found out the painful way. He raised his Skillet of Turtling to catch the worst of it, but a few flecks of the goo struck his arm and sizzled away his skin, leaving his muscle fibers exposed to the open air.

Health remaining: 42/60!

“Nacho!” Jennifer screamed for help, scrabbling frantically against the tongue as her outer layer of flesh was being dissolved by the acidic mucous coating that appendage. She started stabbing her Sewer Skewers into Scratch-Bite, but the Godking of Scrub Sponges shook her savagely, forcing her to drop all the weapons she had been handed.

Nacho sped forward and chopped his cleaver down onto the tongue, only for it to rebound like he had hit a rubber band reinforced with liquid steel.

Damage dealt: 0!

Sorry, Cookie! The Godking of Scrub Sponges requires you to do at least 150 damage in a hit, and you aren’t even close. Your knife's ability only guarantees damage on creatures one Tier above you! Sad little Tier one Nacho. Womp, womp.

“Didn’t need the reminder, System. I noticed the lack of gushing blood all on my own, thank you very much.” Along with being unaffected by their attempts, the Tier three monster had one thousand Health. None of them were going to be able to do any damage against it with their standard attacks: they only had one weapon that could piece the creature’s sponginess. “Still… gonna try and inflict some pain. Even if there’s no guarantee that I will be able to hurt it, I'm going to act like I can. Practice makes better.”

Nacho’s only hope was to scoop a Skewer Sewer off the counter and try to stab the tongue. His hand slipped on the metal, his damaged muscles failing him, and the weapon ended up clattering to the counter once again. Scratch-Bite pulled the Brewer closer to its fangs as its other mouths hurled acidic nastiness, dealing damage to the fighters while they tried to beat back the Grease Slimes.

“Brie! I need help!” Nacho yelled in pure desperation as Jennifer was dragged into range of the monster’s monolithic mandibles. “Fast!”

Brie Combat Dashed over but didn’t try to involve her weapon. Instead, she used her momentum to grab Jennifer and yank her away from the Sponge God’s tongue, leaving behind a sheet of flesh melted to the muscular appendage as Jennifer was ripped loose.

Jennifer screamed in agony, which transformed into rage as she stood and snatched up two of the Sewer Skewers, one in each hand. Somehow, the furious Brewer rammed both of them into the Godking of Scrub Sponges. The brobdingnagian sluice roared in pain and surprise as Jennifer danced back and hurled two more skewers into the moldering mass. “I knocked off over a hundred Health, but we’re not going to win this fight by bashing our heads against it. Anyone have a good idea?”

Scratch-Bite spoke before they could. It didn’t use words, preferring to speak with its acid mucous attack. Goo spewed from its many mouths, falling slower than it seemed it should, but still nearly too rapidly to react. Nacho leapt instinctively in front of Jennifer, his skillet shield blocking almost all damage.

Health remaining: 10/60!

“Reuben!” Brie yelled across the slashing hubbub. The Berserker swung Mr. Lacrosse Stick into the sponge, failing once again to do any damage at all. “Nacho needs healing!”

Nacho was desperate for a solution as he stumbled away from the boss monster, only to feel a Healing Hug encircle him and send his Health back to sixty. Reuben ran up behind the Godking of Scrub Sponges and hammered his fist, one after another into Scratch-Bite’s fuzzy green back. “Ow! Hitting this thing is hurting me as I pull away—it’s officially not food-related! The Grease Slime’s were, but I can’t hit them. We have got to take out the big daddy!”

“But how do we-?” Nacho gazed up at the faucet, his mind whirling as he remembered that this place was full of what had been modern conveniences in his world. His eyes were locked on the light switch on the wall, partially hidden in the tile. “The sink has a garbage disposal!”

Reuben took a splash of acid to the face, and due to taking the damage and his Skill stepping in, Jennifer, Brie, and Abby were instantly healed. Hazel took the momentary respite to throw up a Spike Wall, saving her own life, but also managing to save them all by accident. The Grease Slimes on the counter didn’t take spike damage from the wall, but seemed confused by the spell. To them, the humans had simply vanished without a trace.

Nacho left the sponge battle behind, finding Taye firing arrows that exploded around the Grease Slimes. He grabbed Taye’s Archer hoodie and pulled the younger man along with himself. “Taye! You’re our best chance here! We need to turn on the garbage disposal; it’s the only way we’re going to be able to get through this.”

“What the…? A garbage disposal?” Taye already had an arrow nocked and was searching for the target.

“Right there!” Nacho had to point for the Archer to notice it. “It’s in the down position for now, and obviously the disposal isn’t running. Aim below it, and blow the switch up. Turn it on! You’re the only one with the range a shot like this requires!”

“Keep them off me. I need total focus.” Taye eyed the distance, easily five hundred yards. “I’ll have to use Eagle Aim, and I can't do both.”

“Drink!” Jennifer passed a potion to the Archer, and he chugged it down without a thought. “That'll maximize your damage, believe me.”

“I’ll aim for the tile underneath and a little to the left. We don’t want to destroy the circuits.” The archer drew back his arrow to its maximum draw, holding it in place as he spoke softly to himself. After what seemed like far too long to Nacho, Taye loosed. A bright purple glow was yanked off his body and onto the arrow as the potion’s magic was expended, and the feathered shaft went arcing over the water. It hit the tile right below the light switch—exactly where the Archer had intended. The resulting explosion of dust and debris blocked Nacho from seeing the results. That was fine; he could hear their success.

The world shook with sudden droning, a grinding that soon sent the lake of dishwater swirling around the sink. The counter rumbled underneath their feet, sending Taye tumbling, though Nacho caught him.

The big sponge toppled down onto its belly as its back half was dragged by the suction. The Grease Slimes were swept away from the edge of the sink as the water turned into a whirlpool. Countless monsters warbled in fear and agony as they were sucked down into the garbage disposal, which began screeching as it tore up the hardened grease, bubbling and puking up bits of the monsters.

The rumbling, screaming, and sucking continued, and the humans were forced to wait until Nacho saw the sloped walls of the sink appear. The layer of scum on them would act like lubricant, but it was the only way forward. “Slide down to the scum line! Carefully! We’re not going to be able to turn off the garbage disposal anytime soon, and we’re burning time.”

Nacho didn’t like leaving his people, but he also knew that they all had to get away from Scratch-Bite as soon as possible. It wasn’t very likely that Jennifer would be able to finish Scratch-Bite off with her Sewer Skewers attack, as it required her to leave the skewers in the monster for the stacking damage effect to be used. That, and the monster was still struggling to fight back.

The cook went careening down the side of the sink, going faster, faster, and still picking up speed. He hit the bottom, and it was much like any water slide he’d ever been on, except that he landed in water that was murky and stank. He went skittering across the bottom until the water was still deep enough to slow his descent, leaving a wake that saved his life by pushing the muck away from him. Nacho was up on his feet in calf-deep water, fighting a current that was trying to pull him toward the roaring motor of the garbage disposal.

Losing his balance meant certain death.

He turned in time to see Reuben, Brie, and the rest of the Snack Attack come sliding down the grimy porcelain, slowing once they hit the deeper water in a big woosh of waves… but that was where the good news ended.

Scratch-Bite slid in after them, hitting the water with a slap and rising up on its webbed feet to awkwardly toddle after them. The thing might be Tier three, but it sure was slow. It exhaled, and grease started pouring off of it.

“Don’t look back!” Nacho shouted, putting action to words as he began run-hopping through the remaining liquid. “That thing is creating more slimes!”

Fortunately, all of the current slimes were long gone, shredded in the garbage disposal. The bad news? Not only was the Godking of Scrub Sponges coming after them, but the sink was filling up once more.

The faucet had just ‘mysteriously’ turned on at full strength. The downpour could fill up the sink faster than the garbage disposal could suck the gushing influx down, thanks to being clogged with slimes and likely other, even less pleasant things. Nacho sputtered out a long, calming heave of air. “I can only hope the CruxTerrans are having a worse time than we are.”