CWD: Sewer Skewers ~ Two

Nacho sat with Brie, Reuben, Taye, and Kristie on simple wooden benches they pulled close to the fire. Abby had helped shape the benches by hacking them out of the many trees that Bove had thrown to the ground around his lair. Out of everyone on Armor Mountain, Abby, Old Bill, and Young Bill had the most practical crafting skills. As a point in fact, before the Juxtaposition, Abby had spent ten years in the Kansas City area buying houses, fixing them up, and then selling them. She had actually started her new life here with the Skill ‘Home Improvement’.

The cook was glad Abby had stayed behind to organize the guild’s members; she was both smart and very capable. She’d done well enough in the Evaluation World that she could’ve become an Assassin. Instead, she’d bought a Warrior class with three extra combat skills—one of which was Enhanced Aim. That wasn’t a projectile skill, but one that applied to hand-to-hand weapons. It granted her incredible accuracy in hitting monsters where they were the most vulnerable. Along with Enhanced Aim, she had acquired Bad Bash, which added percentage points of damage to her strikes, not unlike Brie’s Combat Dash. Lastly, she had selected ‘Slippery Block’, which reduced the damage she took from being hit when she attempted to avoid it.

Nacho hadn’t even realized how capable she was at first, since she’d leveled her class instead of her Skills, like most people on Armor Mountain. There had been a lot to cover in the past three months, and personnel had only been one of the aspects. They still didn’t have the castle walls Nacho wanted, and some people still slept in tents—though they had upgraded those to the Epic expedition tents that came with an internal wood-burning stove. Throw in some common coal, and it became a heating system that would last all night and keep the tent’s occupants toasty warm.

Snow continued to fall outside the Barracks, and Nacho realized that he’d been staring at it and zoning out. Meanwhile, Taye had bought a couple more arrows from the store and was slipping them into his quiver. “I’m still regretting the credits we spent on our character levels. But you know, we did our character classes first just to get the extra Health Points and more Mana. Both are tied to our stats, so I don’t believe that it was a complete waste.”

Kristie sat drinking wine out of a glass, or rather a clear Juxtaposition plastic cup with the word ‘Wine’ printed across the front. She admitted it was terrible, but she loved her tradition of wine after dinner, so she put up with it. “I wish we would’ve done our Skills first. Just seeing how impressive you guys are highlights how much better of an idea that is.”

Brie joined Kristie in the wine, but Reuben couldn’t be bothered. Even Epic booze wasn’t good, though the Epic root beer, by contrast, was amazing. Well worth two credits, according to him, and it also worked to top off his Thirst Points. Alcohol did nothing to help a player in any way; an effect Reuben touted as ‘the only thing that hasn’t ever changed’.

“Let’s get to it,” Nacho called out to the others. “Tonight is going to be special for me. I’ll finally be hitting level five. It’s been a long wait, but I’m hoping it’ll be worth it.”

“I’m looking forward to not having to slow down for you anymore. Not gonna lie, it’s strange to be able to jog faster than you can sprint. I like it, but I guess that’s gone now, right?” Reuben snapped his fingers as he dredged up his knowledge of Nacho’s level-up bonuses. “Your Build Type is insane. Your growth speed is going to shoot like a rocket into the outer space of awesome.”

Brie quirked an eyebrow at the odd idiom, as well as at what Reuben was implying. “Not sure I’m understanding. What is he doing that’s so special?”

“You know how we’ve gotten faster, stronger, and able to deal more damage, while Nacho stayed exactly as he was before we got here? Well-” Reuben’s explanation was cut off by the annoyed cook.

“Feces, just wait, and you’ll see in a minute. No need to illuminate all of my weaknesses when I’m fixing them.” Nacho wavered between standing and sitting. “Not sure what position I want to be in for this. I remember that adding points to my Fitness was painful. Now, all of my stats are going to jump at the same time. Pain is to be expected… you know what? I’m gonna lay down.”

Taye fiddled with an arrow while he waited for the show. “I can’t believe you chose the Balance, Delayed Option. I mean, you really committed to being a Satiation Player.”

“It wasn’t just the Common Cook thing.” Nacho did some quick stretches—not that being more limber would help with the pain. “I just knew the power of the Build Type. More than that, I trusted Brie and Reuben completely. For anyone else, this combination would have been a death sentence. No way to earn credits as the monsters got stronger, and easy prey for other humans. Now I get to see a return on that trust.”

“You’re making me blush!” Reuben toasted him with a red-and-yellow bottle that would dissolve into liquid in a few hours. Unless they clearly told the Juxtaposition that they wanted to keep it, the packaging always vanished. The apocalypse was the ultimate in recycling.

Nacho gritted his teeth as he firmed up his will. “Here’s me, spending sixteen hundred credits and totally not panicking about it or thinking about all the ways the sizeable amount of amount of money could improve the quality of life for everyone else in the guild-”

“You’re stall~ling,” Reuben called out in a sing-song tone.

“How bad do you think upgrading his entire body at the same time is gonna hurt?” Kirstie covered her eyes but peeked out through her fingers in spite of herself. “It’s bad enough when we get three total points per level, but five in each at the same time? I can’t watch… but I must!”

Nacho let out a strangled yell and spent the one thousand and six hundred credits to buy eight hundred experience points, raising his Common Cook class to level five. He applied the points as fast as they came in and stifled a groan as a deep burning started under his skin, as though his blood was beginning to boil. He remembered that he had wanted to lay down, so he quickly dropped into a prone position. “If I pass out, don’t let me swallow my tongue or throw myself into the fire. Okay? The pain has started—oooh—the burning is bad.”

“They make a cream for that.” Reuben chuckled at his aching friend, remembering his own characteristic increases. “You should contact all previous partners.”

“The joint pain was the worst part for me.” Brie sat down next to Nacho, then motioned for Reuben to stop talking. “Just remember that you get stronger on the other side. I don’t think leveling up can kill you.”

“Yeah… but I’m jumping five points in every stat all at once. I get to have the pain in my flesh and mind at the same time. Whee!” Nacho huddled on the floor, clenched his fists, and ground his teeth together as fire filled every one of his veins. To take his mind off it, the Juxtaposition was there to give him the good news.

Congratulations, Player! You’re going to be taking a crazy ride to level five, and you chose Balanced, Delayed. This is going to Hurt with a capital ‘h’ and an underline! However, when it’s done, you’ll be better, faster, and stronger… all so you can chop those onions faster! What a waste that you chose the Common Cook class. Good for you, sticking to your inscrutable goals. Keep riding the pain train, Nacho! Choo-choo!

Nacho felt his fingernails digging bloody furrows in his palms while the internal fire grew worse. The joint pain hit, searing like his vertebrae were being pried apart with a flathead screwdriver. Chisels went for his ankles, knees, hips, and elbows. He was an entire hardware store of pain. Time lost all meaning, but suddenly it was over, and the memory started fading too fast to be natural. “How long was I down?”

“That took… like, forever.” Reuben patted his leg, then grimaced as the comforting hand came away sweaty. “Yuck. You need a shower, dude.”

Taye and Kristie had left them at some point. Nacho grimaced, cautiously pushing himself up into a seated position. “How bad was it?”

“Bad. I hope it isn’t like that for us.” Brie handed him a glass of water, and he drained it. “At one point, you literally sang the alphabet song. But backwards, and perfectly. Also in tune, as if the music was playing backward in your mind. I thought we were going to need to find an Exorcist class.”

“That would be my brain getting rewired and rebooting, then running a self-test.” Nacho mentally went over his body with a fine-tooth comb. He felt perfectly fine now, and he was far more in tune with his body, like he had been during the Probability Vision. To confirm everything, he pulled up his full Stat Sheet.

Eli ‘Nacho’ Naches

Class: Common Cook

Level: 5

Experience Points: 1300 to Level 6!

Current Credits: 134 (3916 total Dinner Party pool)

Build Type: Balanced, Delayed

Body:

• Fitness: 15
• Metabolic efficiency: 15

Mind:

• Mental energy: 15
• Circuit: 15

Satiation:

• Hunger: 100
• Thirst: 100

Total Health Points: 40

Bonus Physical Damage: 7.5%

Health Regen: 15% Health Regen/minute

Total Mana Pool: 32.5

Bonus Spell Damage: 7.5%

Mana Pool Regen: 15% Mana Regen/minute

Skill Slots (3/4)

• Small Blades (Passive) Level 9: 18% bonus damage on all knife attacks
  • No Mana, Hydration, or Metabolic Cost
• Ingredient Processing (Active) Level 9: Remove Putrid Mana from monsters up to Level 11
  • Mana Cost = 5%
  • Hydration Cost = 5%
  • Metabolic Cost = 5%
• Cooking Magic (Active) Level 9: Create food that enhances a single stat by 45% of maximum
  • Mana Cost = 5%
  • Hydration Cost = 5%
  • Metabolic Cost = 5%
• Open slot

There was his current level, the Common Cook, sitting pretty at level five. All of his Skills had been at level nine for a while now, so he was honestly excited to finally be able to process Tier one, level one monsters. Fighting Tier one monsters remained a deadly proposition, since they couldn’t determine which level a Tier one creature might be until they had already killed it. Since none of their party had risen above Tier zero, there was a good chance that any damage they did manage to inflict would be completely mitigated, even if a creature was only Tier one, level zero—also known more commonly as ‘level ten’.

If they accidentally tangled with a peak Tier one—level nineteen—that was when their scream meter would hit zero, and dying was guaranteed.

Fighting up a Tier was almost always a death sentence, and the only reason they had beaten the Bove was its lack of experience. It had been used to killing, not fighting. It had reacted to pain with terror; when it hadn't won instantly, the confusion had been enough to seal its death warrant.

“Well,” he took a deep breath and forced a grin. “Thanks to my Balanced, Delayed Build Type, all my Stats are now at fifteen! I have more Health Points to play around with, and my Mana Pool is deeper. Not sure how much that’s going to help me in the kitchen, but there are definite fringe benefits.”

“Speaking of fringe, you ripped a hole in your pants while… writhing.” Brie pointed out, drawing his attention to the tear along the seam that went from ankle to knee on his left leg.

“Drat, I liked these.” He sighed down at his Store-bought hoodie and jeans. “I need some armor. Tomorrow, when we hit the Scary Shelves, I’ll try to avoid combat and just process meat, but you know how that normally turns out.”

“You get hit,” Reuben agreed solemnly. “Like… every time. You’re a danger magnet. Probably because you smell like home cookin’.”

“What a lovely thing to say,” Nacho deadpanned as he glanced around. “Where did Taye and Kristie go?”

“They couldn’t handle the sweating and singing.” Brie threw another piece of wood on the fire and dusted off her hands. “I guess it’s my turn now. Let’s get on with my levels.”

Nacho rose and went through a far more advanced stretching routine than he had been able to manage previously. He couldn’t help enjoying the feel of the improvements in everything he did. Now that the pain was gone, he felt stronger, both physical and mentally. His mind was clearer than it had been in a long time, and the magical potency of his new and improved Mana Pool also felt fantastic.

“Okay. We won’t judge you too harshly for singing,” Reuben promised her as he settled in to watch.

“I’m not going to sing,” their Berserker stated with force behind the declaration. Perhaps even a hint of a threat. “Remember we only go up a few points at a time. Nothing like this crazy man.”

“Probably correct,” Nacho agreed with her to keep the bickering to a minimum. “It shouldn’t be anywhere near as intense for you. But you never know.”

Since Brie had a Build Type of ‘Balanced, Instant’, she got three Stat Points for every level, and they were applied to her Stats evenly in a round-robin type of fashion. The other Build Type was ‘Self-Applied’, and while a player was given two points for every level, they got to choose where to put those. That basic option just wasn’t worth it, as they would be forever weaker than their peers in everything outside of their specialization.

Brie frowned as she perused a screen only she could see. “I hate that this is costing us so many credits, but I love spending money.”

“Yeah!” Reuben had never been on board with that issue. “Credits are meant to be spent! If we hoard them, we’ll die because we’re too weak!”

Nacho could appreciate frugality, but he agreed with his Healer. They had enough to buy her and Reuben enough experience to get them both to level five. Their Chips Guild coffers were healthy, and the credits kept on rolling in. Brie’s eyes glowed as she begrudgingly spent the requisite credits. “Okay. Here goes nothing. Ooh, there’s the burning.”

She held onto Reuben’s hands and grimaced, sweat sliding down her face. Her elbows glowed like lightbulbs under her skin, her other joints covered by her armor. After a long moment, she blinked in surprise. “That wasn’t… too bad. Did I sing?”

“No.” Reuben actually sounded slightly disappointed. “I wanted to hear more of your beautiful voice. Oh, well.”

“Guess I’ll just need to whisper into your ear tonight,” Brie smugly informed him, making him shiver as a slow grin spread across his lips. “You’re up next, and you can sing all you want. Let’s take a peek at my Stat Sheet.”

Since the three of them were in the same party, they could see each other’s stats if they each allowed that function. They had considered sharing with the larger group—Taye, Kristie, and Abby—to start building a lot more trust, and so they could keep track of each other better, but it was very personal information. Certainly not something to do lightly.

Brie gave Nacho a view of her Stat Sheet, offering him the whole thing.

Brie McCurdy

Class: Berserker

Level: 5

Experience Points: 1300 to Level 6!

Current Credits: 223 (2316 total Dinner Party pool)

Build Type: Balanced, Instant

Body:

• Fitness: 14
• Metabolic Efficiency: 14

Mind:

• Mental Energy: 14
• Circuit: 13

Satiation:

• Hunger: 100
• Thirst: 100

Total Health Points: 38

Bonus Physical Damage:7%

Health Regen: 14% Health Regen/minute

Total Mana Pool: 46

Bonus Spell Damage: 7%

Mana Pool Regen: 14% Mana Regen/minute

Skill Slots (3/4)

• Athletic Endurance (Passive) Level 9: 18% reduction to hunger loss penalties when using physical skills
  • No Mana, Hydration, or Metabolic Cost
• Combat Dash (Active) Level 9: 18% Damage on Dash Attacks, 10-meter dash
  • Mana Cost = 0%
  • Hydration Cost = 0%
  • Metabolic Cost = 10%
• Defensive Whirl (Active) Level 9: Spin toward your enemy, auto-blocking up to 5 strikes
  • Mana Cost = 0%
  • Hydration Cost = 0%
  • Metabolic Cost = 15%
• Open slot

Nacho was incredibly grateful for his Balanced, Delayed Build Type. Though they both were at the same level, his stats sat at fifteen across the board, while Brie was at fourteen for three of her stats, and at thirteen for her Circuit. He was also grateful that both Reuben and Brie had agreed to select a Build Type of Balanced, Instant. They received their points at every level, so they were able to fight to keep the rest of the team alive.

Even with all the issues it would bring, Nacho couldn’t help but get excited at the prospect of getting them all to Tier one, because most of his team had maxed out all of their Skills at level nine. Since Skills couldn’t be brought to the next Tier until a player had achieved Tier one with their level, they were stunted in the amount of damage bonuses they could achieve, as well as in their ability to inflict secondary effects like debuffs.

Brie’s abilities were going to be especially interesting once she Tiered up. Nacho wanted to analyze some of the hardcore damage she would be capable of as she expanded out her levels more—and with her Athletic Endurance ability, eighteen percent off of her Hunger cost would truly help out.

Reuben took a seat on the nearest bench. “My turn, my turn! That didn’t look too bad, but I’m going to sing. Any requests?”

“Don’t sing!” Nacho and Brie shouted at the same time.

“Sorry, we aren’t taking any requests today. Awa~ay we go!” Reuben’s eyes flashed as he spent his credits. The ebullient man didn’t end up singing as his joints and skin glowed. Instead, he grunted and tried to force out words, but didn’t manage a single bar in the few minutes required for the leveling to be completed. “I was wrong. Couldn’t sing. Hurt too much. Glad that’s over.”

His companions nodded in wordless empathy as they all looked over his Stat Sheet, skipping the build stats, as Reuben’s was exactly the same as Brie’s thanks to their identical distribution.

Reuben Colby

Class: Healer

Level: 5

Skill Slots (3/4)

• Healing Hugs (Active) Level 8: 40 Health Points Restored Upon Hugging
  • Mana Cost = 10%
  • Hydration Cost = 5%
  • Metabolic Cost = 0%
• Positive Vibes (Active) Level 9: Weapon blessing: (applies to whole party, lasts 5 minutes) Adds 18% physical damage
  • Mana Cost = 5%
  • Hydration Cost = 10%
  • Metabolic Cost = 0%
• Marketing (Active) Level 9: Able to lure creatures to a location. Impacts up to Level:10
  • Mana Cost = 5%
  • Hydration Cost = 5%
  • Metabolic Cost = 5%
• Open slot

Nacho found it funny that Reuben’s stats matched Brie’s, even though they were both level five in their respective classes. The Healer was taller, bigger, and had more muscle mass, but the structure of the game ensured that everyone was equal when it came to their Stats. The more you leveled, the more powerful you became, and that held true for every single player. Even so, not everyone could express those stats in the same way. It took training and dedicated practice to get the most out of any increase, and Brie had that in spades. With that thought in mind, he muttered, “As always, practice makes better.”

They’d made the choice to stop leveling Reuben’s Healing Hug at level eight, as no one in their guild currently had anything higher than forty Health Points—even now, only Nacho did. It didn’t make sense for Reuben to be able to replenish more Health than what people could possibly use.

Nacho grunted in frustration as he remembered the fact that most of the Chips Guild players had gone with the Self-Applied Build Type. Thanks to his advice, when they realized that leveling their Skills allowed them to do more damage and provided a larger benefit than just upping their Fitness, most of them had slowed down on advancing their character classes. He had been greatly relieved, as continuing down that path would have led to early starvation.

Reuben had insisted that, since they had to stop leveling his Healing Hug, they could upgrade his Marketing Skill instead. To everyone’s surprise except Reuben’s, it actually had come in handy. Not only had it proved useful in convincing more people to join the Chips Guild, but he’d also been able to use it on monsters, to some extent.

“Halfway to Tier one,” Reuben cheered happily as Nacho hurried to the door, cracked it open, and called out into the snowy darkness.

“Hey, Taye and Kristie. We’re done with the upgrading. Mine was concerning, sure. Brie and Reuben were less so. Even with all that, you shouldn’t wander out into the woods at night with only two people.”

Taye and Kristie shuffled back inside. The archer, always working, stomped snow off his boots. “We did a quick run of the perimeter. Quiet night so far. We also checked in on Abby. Nothing else has come roaring out of Costco. They did clear out a shelf of the chips, and they’re eating as many as they can cram down.”

“It’ll make the night go a lot faster,” Reuben played off his jealousy with a smile. Now that the work of the night was over, Nacho felt restless. He wanted to see what was waiting for him in the UnderFun.

Had he really lived three years with his old neighborhood just under his feet? It was starting to seem like it. They had so much exploring to do, and for the first time in a long time, he was looking forward to exploring… just for fun.