CWD: GA ~ Forty-Five

Crave wiggled his magic sleeping feather at Nacho. “Actually, I like my steak medium-rare.”

“We’re going to kill them, right?” Rizzo gripped two black short swords. He had probably found them in the deeper levels of the Chaos Coop. “Then we’ll go after the dungeon down there. Feels like a big one!”

“Good luck getting by the Skullgainvillea.” Nacho swung his backpack around.

Red Suzy Blacke leaned into her bow. “If you pull out anything I don’t like, you’re dead.”

Crave laughed a little. “They’re already dead. Especially our former cook. We just need for them to tell us what they got for killing the Bove, and what they’ve seen down there, besides Skullgainvillea, whatever that is.”

Alongside Crave, Suzy, and Rizzo stood some huge guy in scale mail. Bald, scarred, and sneering, the new goon must’ve been an Olympic weightlifter back in the day. He had a fluted morning star which leaked magical shadows balanced on one shoulder. A quick glance confirmed that Crave had also picked up a few new spellcasters along the way.

Nacho managed to pull out another Rock Tarragon Ptarmigan drumstick out of his pack. He wiggled it at Crave and the gang. “Just wanting a last meal. It’s only a drumstick, not a weapon.”

He took a bite and felt the cooking Magic hit him. He wiped his mouth and casually tossed it to Brie, who caught it and started eating ravenously. It seemed Crave, Suzy and Rizzo had forgotten that his food was, in actuality, a weapon. That was easy to believe, since for decades back on Earth, people just ate and didn’t worry about magic.

Brie swallowed quickly. It had been a chonky drumstick, an entire half portion. Nacho squinted at Crave. “I’m surprised that you didn’t go after Armor Mountain with us gone.”

“We thought about it,” the Assassin freely admitted. “Nice guildhall. Not much in competition. But I figured we’d get you out here, away from your people, so I can get a bit of revenge on you for killing Hogan and Whitey, collect your credits, and go back to Armor Mountain with some story about how we tried to save you, but you died—and they should join my guild, the Final Victory.”

Nacho tilted his head. He heard the distant clomp of a certain demonic bull. “Final Victory? No. I’m thinking this is your last hurrah.”

“What? The cow is still alive!” Suzy let fly an arrow. The assembled spellcasters threw a lightning bolt, a missile of pure destructive magic, and a freezing wind full of icicles in near-simultaneous panic.

Brie whirled out in front of Reuben and Nacho, deflecting the arrow and all three of the magical attacks. The three members of The Dinner Party scattered as the Bove came crashing out into the sunlight. It was leaking blood, had lost a horn and any number of teeth, but it was still hangry and looking for a last meal.

It lunged forward in a rage and grabbed one Mind Player in its teeth, biting the poor guy in half as the snake-tail mouth whipped around and grabbed another. Both mouths were still chewing furiously as it turned and went after the others.

Suzy might’ve leveled up some, but her fire arrows still weren’t powerful enough to pierce the hide of the bull. Mace guy slammed his weapon against the muscled hide of the thing, but again, nothing was happening.

While the Bove swept through Crave and his party, Nacho staggered over to Brie and pulled pancakes out of the side pocket of his pants. Brie made a face. “I’m not exactly excited to be eating your pocket pancakes, Nacho! I have trouble eating my own.”

“You need the cooking Magic,” he insisted as he pushed the food into her hands. Reuben gave her a water bottle to wash the hasty meal down. “Num, num, here comes the airplane.”

Screaming rose from the ranks of Crave’s new guild, but they were doing a fine job distracting the cow monster. Brie quickly decided that she’d had enough and sped in with her hammer; hitting the monster on a back leg and breaking it with a loud *crack*!

She had plenty of Hunger stored to Combat Dash away from the retaliatory strike. “Down to twenty-four Health! One more shot should do it!”

The demon cow tried to retreat, but it was having difficulty moving its bulk around on a broken leg. Brie had to Defensive Whirl to stop the snake tail from taking a bite out of her and danced nimbly back, her attention laser-focused on the injured beast. The Bove was breathing hard and wallowing desperately, flinging snot and blood with every movement.

It was almost dead.

While Crave’s people retreated, the Guild Master himself sprinted at Nacho with his scimitar raised. A look of fury painted his face. The sword arced down… and Reuben stepped forward and caught the blade in his metal-covered fist. “No one talks to the cook, except someone who wants to praise his culinary skills. I handle the complaints.“

The Healer slammed a gauntlet into Crave’s face, snapping his nose and causing the Assassin to stagger back and wind up on his rear. The big guy must’ve taken some damage in catching the sword, but the move was worth it, both for protection and style points.

At the same time, Brie used her final Combat Dash and jumped into the air, putting everything she had into one final attack as she dropped the hammer. The Bove’s skull shattered, and the beast dropped like a stone. It let out one final grunt and went rigid, finally dead and gone.

Just like that, a huge weight lifted off Nacho’s shoulders. They had done it. They had done the impossible, and killed the Bove before it got so strong that it was untouchable. They had killed it less than a month into the Juxtaposition, meaning they had just saved tens of thousands of lives.

A tear trickled from his eyes and a wide smile appeared on his face, he was beaming so hard that it made his lips feel like they would tear,

Brie wiped the sweat from her brow, grinning at her team. “I must say, that is so much more satisfying than making a goal in lacrosse.”

“You little…!” Crave pulled himself up and swayed in place, holding his nose. “We’re not done, Doritos. Not by a long shot.”

Nacho decided right then that he wasn’t going to let this guy live. While in the Probability Vision, they’d been comrades—if not close friends—he knew, deep-down, Crave wouldn’t stop until he got his revenge. He wouldn’t get any credits, but he was going to slam his Cry knife into Crave’s gizzard and cut the Assassin into bite-sized pieces.

He never had the chance.

Crave flashed forward and brushed Nacho’s face with the feather. The cook, full of indignation, had a definite feeling of déjà vu as he pitched forward into unconsciousness onto the gross ground in front of the Bove’s lair.

Nacho woke up seconds later on his back with Brie clutching his shirt. “Good. You’re awake. We ran Crave off, try and pull yourself together. Until then, I’ll make do with another pocket pancake.”

After nodding in stunned agreement, Nacho stood up and approached the lifeless Bove, touching the big, knotted muscles of its shoulder. He couldn’t help attempting to process out some of the Putrid Mana, but the System laughed at him.

Nice try, buddy, but this is a Level 19 (Tier one Level 9) monster, and you can only do up to Level 9. Better luck next time! Keep eating your vegetables and saying your prayers, and maybe someday you can eat the big beef.

Nacho grinned and shrugged. It had been worth a shot. Staring down at the Bove, he privately mused at how much things had changed. Hogan and Whitney dying, the Bove gone, figuring out food this early… it changed things. His experiences in the Probability Vision meant less and less as reality diverged from his waking dream, but… that was a very good thing.

The cook turned and saw Brie and Reuben holding hands as their Health Regen took care of any lingering wounds.

Yes, things had changed, but he still had his two best friends. In the end, Nacho had the ultimate boon: he knew the game. He’d just have to keep on cooking.