CWD: GA ~ Nineteen

With a fire crackling merrily in front of their rocky overhang home, Nacho easily sliced off the back leg of the deer, thanks to his Small Blades ability. He peeled off the hide and set it aside—that seemed like the right thing to do. There was probably a tanning skill he could buy, or maybe an info pack on how to process deer leather? He’d get the cooking down first, then maybe tackle the leatherwork in a few years.

He glanced up at Brie, who stood above him on the rock to scan the horizon, bow in hand, while Reuben came back with more firewood.

“How’s it going?” The big guy used his knee to snap a thick stick in half, a casual reminder that their bodies were no longer what they had once been.

Nacho cut off a slice of the meat, a pound at least, and dashed the salt and pepper on the chunk of flesh. It was pink and red and looked right—a steak in search of a backyard grill. “Not sure yet.”

“How about a spit?” Reuben offered a stick he was holding. “We could do it old school.”

“Let me just try to fry it on a rock.” Nacho rubbed the spices on the meat. The sudden System message made him flinch, jerking his hand back.

Greetings, Satiation Player! Welcome to Active Cooking! It’s like Active Combat, but this culinary chaos involves more butter… depending on how you fight, we suppose. During Ingredient Processing, or your more normal kitchen battles, you cannot access the Store, and both your Health and your Mana Regeneration have been paused. Good luck being delicious! You have purchased two ingredients (salt and pepper) and acquired a third, which is full of Putrid Mana. Not so great for the bowels, am I right? Wanna start the process of eliminating the Putrid Mana from your newly harvested Wight-Tailed Deer meat?

Yes / No

Nacho had no idea what was going on, but he remembered seeing something about this at the Evaluation Mall. He’d grown accustomed to Active Combat over the years, but Active Cooking? Were the Patrons serious? Regardless of his misgivings, he chose ‘yes’.

The System message vanished, but not before the pound of deer meat glowed with a golden light and another cheery message popped up:

One whole pound of Level 1 deer meat is being processed! You earn two credits!

Black goo oozed out of the meat, seemingly driven out by the golden light that Nacho had only just realized was a combination of Mana, Hunger, and Thirst points. He started to understand what was happening as the process continued, and found that he was able to push the power emitting from himself through the meat and into areas that were more densely packed with the filth. One pound of meat was not a large amount, but by the time the Putrid Mana had evaporated fully, he was sweating and shaking from the effort. He wiped his brow as the light vanished. “Abyss, I hope that gets easier with practice.”

You have succeeded in draining the Putrid Mana from 1 pound of Wight-Tailed Deer meat! You earn two credits!

“That was… disgusting,” Reuben commented from a few feet further away than he had been at the start of Nacho’s skill use. “How is there that much bacteria in that scant portion of food?”

“Not bacteria… it’s mana.” Nacho didn’t want to argue the point; his hands were flying as he gathered the purified meat and shoved it into a Storage Slot. “It isn’t exactly an organism, at least not fully. It's kinda like a virus that got mutated by a huge amount of dirty mana. I need to hurry; I have no idea how much longer I’ll have to process the rest of this.”

The deer meat was holding together nicely as he worked on this small amount, but Nacho wasn’t sure how much time he had remaining to process the carcass. It wouldn’t stay together indefinitely, certainly not with such a large amount of muscle tissue present. No one had spent much time figuring out the liquefaction mechanic, since it was pretty clear that eating monster meat wasn’t a viable part of the game. All that meant was that at some point, Nacho would have to figure that out; it would be totally new research that he could add to the world.

He knew enough about campfire cooking that the coals were what were used to cook; anything hotter would just burn the food. After studying the glowing pile for a moment, Nacho put a flat rock in the middle of the red coals and laid the deer steak on the rock, where it immediately started to sizzle. To his relief, it smelled good. Really good.

The cook grinned and sprinkled a little more salt atop the steak. “Well, Reuben, I got a couple of credits for processing this little feast. It looks like it's cooking well.”

“It’s like I’m standing outside of a medieval burger joint. You know, this one time, I—” Reuben stopped talking, sniffed, and pointed. “But, uh, Nacho, this might sound strange, but your deer meat is melting.”

The cook whipped his eyes back to the meal he was trying to create, feeling a spike of horror at the sight of the steak turning to fluid on the rock and dripping into the fire. The greasy fluid hissed in the fire and produced a huge amount of smoke, filling the entire area with the stink of burning meat.

“What just happened?” Nacho coughed, trying to wave the smoke away. Was it because he was only level one? Was the meat bad? Had he missed his window?

Worried that the black smoke would draw more monsters, Nacho grabbed his water bottle and upended it into the fire, adding the final ingredient to the mess of deer fluid and sizzling coals. At least the black smoke had turned into huge white plumes.

Well, Cookie-Cook, your first round of Active Cooking was a disaster! Better luck next time! Active Cooking is over. You can access the Store once more, and your Health and Mana Regeneration will start immediately.

“Don’t worry, dude. We’re all figuring this out together.” Reuben tried to comfort his stricken friend. “Practice makes better, right? Just don’t give up.”

“I…” It took Nacho a minute to get to the message. He felt overwhelmed, scattered, and ready to admit to himself that this Satiation Player nonsense might have been the worst mistake he’d ever made. “You’re right, even if it hurts to admit it. I won’t give up. Someday I’ll make enough meals to keep everyone full!”

The words made him recall that his skills required mana, and that Cooking Magic was magic. Not having Mana Regen while he cooked limited him to how many ingredients he could process, and how much Cooking Magic he could add to his food.

The Patrons were clever. They were also evil.

Squinting through the last of the smoke with teary eyes, Brie called down to the two of them. “We’re not being very inconspicuous, boys!”

Nacho wanted to grumble some rude words at her, but she was right. Reuben raised his voice but refrained from shouting. “Keep your eyes peeled; there must be other camps around here that are bigger, smellier, and noisier.”

“Let’s hope so,” Nacho grunted as he reached for the butchered corpse once more. “I’m going to try this again on another fire. I’ll be more careful this time. Maybe I can angle the rock away, so if the meat turns into liquid, it won’t make so much of a mess?”

“Liquid meat! It’s what’s for dinner,” Reuben poked fun at him once more before going to gather another set of firewood. Brie stayed on top of the overhang, keeping watch.

*Whine.*

The cook froze as the sound reached his ears. It sounded like a dog, but there was no such thing here. His eyes scanned his surroundings, catching on some motion at the edges of the firelight. Not wanting to make a scene, a knife twirled into his hand and he shot across the distance like a streak of shadow. His blade plunged down, coming to a stop as his target flopped to its back in a show of submission and whined once more. “What is this?”

He was looking at a green… puppy. There was no other way to describe it. Nacho kept his knife against it as he looked around for more,but found nothing. A quick scan of the creature only revealed a series of question marks, as though the system was also confused by its existence. “Ah… shoo. Be gone. I don’t want to stab a puppy, and I know you can’t be tamed since I’m not a monster tamer or farmer.”

The puppy got to its feet and slowly walked over to where Nacho had tried and failed to cook, then began lapping up the liquid meat failures. It shuddered, and clearly found the taste disgusting, but took in as much as it could. Then it looked over at Nacho hopefully, letting out a little growl. “I just knew you were going to get hostile.”

Hefting the knife once more had the green puppy laying on its back, vine-like tail curled up to cover the stomach a little. Nacho stared at the monster, then lowered the knife and pointed. “Get.”

The monster puppy slowly left the area, looking back at him several times. “I know you’re just trying to get me to lower my guard so that you can turn into something horrifying and scary, then eat me. No. Shoo.”

There was a rustle of leaves as the puppy vanished into the flora. Finally alone, Nacho let out a sigh of relief and lit another fire near the first mess of a pit. He cut off another pound of meat and began the process of purifying the Putrid Mana. After a few minutes of mental struggle, he had a clean chunk of meat to salt, pepper, and place it on a fresh rock angled away from the fire—gaining another two credits for his efforts. Just as he finished these steps, the rest of the deer meat let out an evil *hiss* and deflated, turning into a foul sludge. “No third try, huh?”

Again, he got the System messages as he entered Active Cooking, but even though he felt that he had done everything correctly, the same thing happened. At least this time, the meat-goop ran into the dirt instead of onto the fire. “What am I doing wrong?”

Active Cooking ended with more gleeful sarcasm from the System. Nacho returned to the Store and found a section on Common Cook-prepared meals, eventually discovering something interesting… if not helpful to his current situation. The grid displayed information such as recipe level, and how much he could charge per meal.

For level one recipes, he could charge six credits for any meal he made. As he had already found, all recipes required a minimum of three ingredients. A new chunk of information revealed that each dish prepared could feed three people.

Level two recipes were worth twelve credits, three were worth eighteen credits, and fourth level recipes were worth twenty-four credits. Nacho sat back and pondered his puddled steak. “I don’t get it. Meat, salt, and pepper are three ingredients. I was able to process the ingredients; is it that I’m just a terrible chef?”

He went back to pondering the pricelist. In the end, when people bought his cooking, they’d be getting a good deal. A meal for three people for six credits? If they went to the Store, it was three credits for a single Tier one meal. For three, that would cost a total of nine credits, and it would be Store food—little better than cardboard with sauce on it.

There was only one problem: he couldn’t cook anything.

Nacho took a stick and tipped the flat rock, sending the last of the deer smoothie to dribble onto the mud. At that precise moment, Reuben came ambling up with another armful of wood.

“Well, my friend, do you wanna eat our own food or shop at the Store tonight?” Nacho questioned defeatedly.

Reuben adjusted his obnoxious leather helmet. “It’s our second night in the game. I say we celebrate!”

“Store food is not for celebrating.” Nacho found himself both hungry, thirsty, and grumpy about it. A quick check of his Stat Sheet explained why.

Eli “Nacho” Naches

Class: Common Cook

Tier Class Name: Common Cook

Level: 0

Experience Points: 100 to Level 1!

Current Credits: 9 (19 total Dinner Party pool)

Build Type: Balanced, Delayed

Body:

• Fitness: 10
• Metabolic efficiency: 10

Mind:

• Mental energy: 10
• Circuit: 10

Satiation:

• Hunger: 90
• Thirst: 90

Total Health Points: 30

Bonus Physical Damage: 5%

Health Regen: 9% Health Regen/minute

Total Mana Pool: 25

Bonus Spell Damage: 5%

Mana Pool Regen: 9% Mana Regen/minute

It took a minute to understand what was happening. He’d done two rounds of his Ingredient Processing ability, and at five percent each… that had used ten percent of his Mana, Hunger, and Thirst Points. He was still at ninety Hunger and Thirst Points, but his Mana was already back to full. Now that he was out of Active Cooking, he was getting nine percent of his Mana back per minute, a point under his maximum, because he’d used ten Thirst.

If his deer steaks hadn’t turned to goo, he could’ve eaten some to keep his Hunger Points in check. He’d have to keep some Store water around to deal with the Thirst, but his Mana remained a limiting factor.

The next consideration: if a pound of deer steak was one ingredient, he wondered how much of the monster he could process before he ran out of Mana. How much meat was on a typical deer? Nacho sat silently, mind racing, not knowing what to do next, as the last lumps of the deer carcass turned into sludge.

“I should’ve cut it up and got as much as I could.” Nacho growled at the waste, feeling like an absolute tool. “Why wasn’t I thinking ahead? Why did I take one piece and only cut more off after it had already been wasted?”

“Next time, you’ll plan better.” Brie calmly attempted to offer affirmation. “You’re new to this, just like we’re new to the rest of it.”

Nacho nodded sharply and walked away from the overhang, taking a minute to just breathe in the forest, and letting himself feel miserable. His first chance at cooking had been a disaster. He was disappointed in himself and furious once more that the Juxtaposition gave its players such little information, even if he had been able to piece together more than he should have by reading over the footnotes of information packs.

They weren't famished. No, he knew what starving felt like. Even so, his hunger was extreme enough to make him want to splurge that night. He returned to his friends, and all of them climbed to the top of the overhang to eat while they watched the sun set.

Sitting on the stone, Reuben pumped a fist. “I love eating out! Tier zero food for everyone!”

No one mentioned their lack of fresh venison steak as Nacho bought the chicken tikka masala plate from the Store. Brie went with fish tacos, while Reuben had Big Bubba’s Burnt Ends BBQ Bonanza tray, which was a whole heaping helping of smoked brisket, whiskey beans, mac n cheese, and a lobster bisque. All three meals came on bright carnival red trays with the word ‘Enjoy’ scrawled in yellow across the front. On the back, printed in tiny black font, were the words ‘Tier zero’.

They weren’t given silverware, but Nacho had packed an extra set in each of their bags for just such occasions. As they consumed the tasteless food, they watched the sky redden in companionable silence. In the distance rose the smoke from other cooking fires, marking the campsites of other groups of people gathered together. Who was being attacked and killed? What were they eating? Tier zero food probably, meat and vegetables tainted with the Putrid Mana. It wouldn’t taste good, but it wouldn’t kill them yet, and at least their meat probably hadn’t liquified off their cooking surfaces.

Nacho picked at the chicken tikka masala that tasted horrifically… fine. Being bad would have been a step up for Store food. This was like eating someone else’s frozen dinner, from the freezer at work, where it had remained for ten years, losing flavor the entire time. Store food wasn’t bad. It was just wrong. But in the end, the taste didn’t matter. They just needed food, so they could use their skills to kill monsters, which would make them hungry again—thus beginning the endless circle.

Brie didn’t complain about the soggy fish tacos, which she could’ve. Reuben didn’t go on a rampage about how dry and tasteless the burnt ends were, and messing up the deliciousness of barbecue took some real talent. Instead, he wondered aloud, “You think this food is an evil plot to break the morale of the players?”

“Yeah. That makes too much sense not to be the truth,” Brie agreed easily, lightening the mood as they all got a chuckle from the observation. Nacho was able to think about the situation without getting down, and he couldn’t shake the idea that he was missing something.

Muttering under his breath, Nacho pulled up the Tier zero Class Items list from the Store. For two hundred credits, he could buy the ‘IMOP recipe—the International Monster of Pancake recipes. Guaranteed delicious. Makes mornings worth waking up for again!’ He also saw a Tier zero class item called the De Re Coquinaria.

It’s no secret that the De Re Coquinaria is the most important single item a Satiation Player can possess, other than garlic and a heartbeat. This is the perfect gift for the cook in your life, and it will bring you and them hours of pleasure and deliciousness.

Brie and Ruben were talking, maybe saying his name, and he thought one of them threw something at him. He was too focused to care. He had to figure out this cooking problem.

He turned his attention to the Tier one class items. Single recipes were available, for a whopping four hundred credits. He grimaced at the sight of one called Aunt Lilith’s Blood Sausage. Another winner was Ugly Carl’s Fish Sticks and Tartar Sauce Surprise. However, the Tier one class items also listed cookbooks. He skimmed some of the titles, but one stuck out—The Village Idiot’s Breakfast Fun Cookbook.

If you are a Player in the Juxtaposition, you know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Yes, you can’t kill monsters and loot dungeons without a well-balanced meal after a long night’s terror. This cookbook has it all! The Juxtaposition’s famous IMOP pancakes, Uncle Asmodeus’s Spicy Sausage, Biscuits and Gravy, as well as omelets so fluffy and heavenly, you’ll swear that the last monster killed you! Suffice to say, you can’t go wrong with the Village Idiot’s Breakfast Fun Cookbook. It makes early morning meals stupidly delicious!

“Stop that!” A piece of cabbage had hit Nacho in the face. He blinked and allowed the blue light that filled his sclera to fade. “Don’t throw things at me!”

“You okay, buddy?” Reuben demanded an answer, hefting his ‘food’ threateningly.

Nacho set his tray aside and unscrewed his water bottle. The boiled liquid was cold, and the metal gave it a flat taste. “Yeah. I just feel bad that I messed up cooking so much. I think I need a recipe? I mean, I’ve been sorting through the Store, and I found all sorts of expensive class items and cookbooks.”

“Ah. That makes sense.” Brie’s eyes shifted to blue while she accessed the Store. “I see what you’re saying. Sorry for throwing cabbage at you. I think I might be losing my mind.”

“I know how you feel.” He truly did, as he was living the Juxtaposition a second time. But he was not alone, and that realization filled him with the determination he needed to do better at all of it.

As always, Reuben tried to lighten the mood. He grinned and banged his tray on the rock. “What happens to the trays? Can we collect them? Get a set? Use them as Frisbees? What?”

“They eventually melt, like the Wight-Tailed Deer did. You won't see them around. When we got really bored, we used to make bets on how long they would last. They usually last about an hour, just long enough for you to have a nice long meal and conversation. Probably made of Putrid Mana, given how they vanish.”

“Alright, enough beating around the bush and waiting for you to be ready to talk on your own terms.” As always, Reuben was there for Nacho. “You’ll feel better if you just get it off your chest.”

The assertion made Brie scowl and cross her arms over her chest. “Talking about feelings is stupid.”

“Stupidly delicious,” Nacho murmured as he fell back into thought. “That IMOP recipe. It’s Tier zero if I were to purchase it alone, but that recipe is included in the Village Idiot cookbook. What does that mean?”

Brie leapt to her feet and shot-put her tray from the top of their rocky home. “Fine. You won’t talk about your stupid feelings so that Reuben can get all his warm and fuzzies out? Then I’ll talk about my stupid feelings! You’re not the only one freaking out here because they don’t know what to do, Nacho!”