Implode ~ 6!

Joe swept up from the ground like a whirling dervish, ready to tear into the Elf that had launched the sneak attack. “What did you—oh, he’s dead. What did he do to me?”

“I'm pretty sure he marked you.” Daniella pointed at the sky, where the heraldry of the Elven Theocracy floated high above them. “Do you know any dispel rituals, or something that can cancel that out?”

Not exactly wanting to reveal his lack of diversity in spell casting, Joe could only shake his head and point in the direction they had been running. Major Cleave stopped him as he took the first few steps, shaking her head at him incredulously, “Where do you think you’re going? Do you really want to point a giant arrow in the direction that you are heading for the next five days? We either go back to the city and get this fixed, find a way to handle it now, or take down anyone that is coming after us.”

“We have incoming!” Daniella shouted as she gestured into the distance. Joe glanced in the indicated direction, spotting a wave of golden-haired Elves racing toward them. If Major Cleave’s comment about Elves was any indication, the color of their hair likely indicated their position in society, which meant these ones were going to be deadly. “We need to get out of here; we can’t fight that!”

“Quick!” Jaxon turned and sprinted along the dirt road. “Back to the city! We need to show all these potential clients where they can come for adjustments! We’re going to make a fortune!”

“We need to get there for reinforcements, Jaxon.” Major Cleave picked up Daniella and began running as the human yelped in surprise. “Joe, I know you can keep up, so start jumping!”

“I think what I do now is technically vaulting,” Joe countered while posing like he was laying on a couch in midair—hands propped under his chin as his body lazily spun, in order to keep the Dwarf in his line of sight—having activated Omnivault before Major Cleave had finished speaking. “Should I worry that I have the flag of the Elves waving in the air above my head? I feel like the Dwarves aren’t going to let us in when they see this attached to me.”

“That’s a problem for future Joe, right?” Jaxon laughed as the first ranged attack crashed down nearby. A huge shard of glass hit next to the road and shattered, sending slivers of the material through the air and onto the road. It wasn’t much of an issue for Joe, as the shards simply bounced off his Exquisite Shell without even sending him a damage notification, but the loose material seemed to have made the ground slippery. At the speed they were traveling, that resulted in treacherous terrain, showcased by Major Cleave slipping and sending Daniella flying.

It just so happened that the human was tossed up into Joe’s flight path, or perhaps Major Cleave had purposely aimed her trajectory while falling, but he was able to catch her as he sailed past. As the unexpected force sent them tumbling in the open air, Joe quipped, “We keep meeting in the strangest places.”

She rolled her eyes at his forced nonchalance, and he observed hundreds of tiny puncture wounds on her skin that were healing up under the influence of his Neutrality Aura. “Thanks for the rescue, but don't start getting any ideas. I’m married—”

That rattled Joe, even though he hadn’t been planning on making any moves on the Architect. “O-oh! That’s great… I am a little surprised that this is the first time-”

“—to my work.” Daniella grinned at him, her chin jutting out a little, as though she were proud of something that she had accomplished. “Don’t be too down about it. I know you’re the same, after all. Who knows? Someday after I manage to make a Mythical building design, I might find you to build it for me. At least I know it’ll be done to my exact specifications.”

Joe had Omnivaulted twice during their short conversation, so he shifted his grasp on her in midair, allowing them to land safely and keep running a few dozen feet in front of their other companions. “Is that your goal? Designing the best buildings?”

“Sure is! Eventually, the skyline of an entire city is going to be made exactly how I want it,” Daniella informed him with a crooked grin. “I just need to study high-rarity structures and blueprints for a few decades while raising my skills up to the Grandmaster rank at the minimum. Then I-*hup*.”

Major Cleave had scooped the woman up in passing. “How about you two watch our surroundings and check for threats, instead of making doe eyes at each other like a pair of lovesick Thunder-Skunks?”

“That’s not what they were doing!” Jaxon protested with complete certainty. “They were telling each other how they were both too interested in their own goals to pursue any kind of long-term relationship.”

“That’s how it always starts,” Major Cleave guffawed as Daniella protested weakly. “Then they start slowly merging their interests, and *bam*! They’re seeking out a five year relationship license.”

“You need a license for a relationship? That’s the most-” Joe was cut off as Jaxon and Major Cleave started laughing at him.

“If it isn't an issue…” The Dwarf met his eyes knowingly, making him blush furiously. “Why are you so interested?”

Joe was saved from needing to answer as another dump truck-sized cone of glass impacted directly below his Vaulting body, the colossal projectile superheated by a flame spell that had been simultaneously cast alongside it. When the slivers began flying, they turned into molten beads that hit Joe’s Exquisite Shell like a claymore going off.

Damage taken: 764 combination damage! (Struck 218 times, see breakdown?)

Doing his best not to be even further distracted in combat, the Ritualist instead focused on controlling his descent. The blast had sent him flying away at a strange angle, and only his Dexterity was allowing him to not hit the ground face-first. He knew it wouldn’t damage him all that much—between his shell and his reduction to fall damage—but it was still an ignoble way to land. Instead, Joe managed to hit in a ‘cannonball’ position, making his knees crack as his butt bounced off the ground. “Oof. If I were still on earth, that would have shattered my pelvis.”

“Also, no one would ever believe that you got hurt in that spot from just falling!” Jaxon cackled at him as Joe hurried to catch up. “Whoops, we need to adjust our running path, we have incoming! Port!”

“Not on a boat here, Jaxon!” Daniella called at him, “You can just say ‘they’re on the left’!”

“But I think they’re attacking with wine bottles!” Jaxon skipped forward and caught a jug just before it hit the ground, whipping it back at the incoming Elves. “You dropped this!”

The attackers scattered with a variety of screams as the jug landed in the center of their group—exploding into a wall of green flames that covered a massive swath of land, strangely shaping itself to flow in a straight line instead of detonating in a sphere as expected. Major Cleave hissed. “Abyss, they have Alchemical Wyvern fire. Don’t let that get on you, it’s… difficult to run after chopping off whatever limb comes into contact with it. Good catch, Jaxon.”

“First off, loving the recognition.” Jaxon gave her a thumbs-up, then gestured at the people that were in hot pursuit. “Any idea why we aren’t charcoal right now, though? They’re certainly close enough to be blasting us with more than the disabling spells they’ve been using up until that jug.”

“They must want to capture the group, since we’re so small,” Major Cleave grumbled as she dove forward and rolled, a perfect disk of glass filled with what looked to be crackling lightning zipping through the area where she had just been standing. “I guess they don’t mind losing a few of us to soften the target.”

“I knew they’d be hunting you almost exclusively.” Joe turned and sent an Acid Spray at the road behind them, only for his hands to flash white and the acid to splash ineffectually against the Exquisite Shell protecting his face. “Abyss! That Excommunicated title is getting on my nerves.”

Anything else he had planned to say was cut off as a fist-sized chunk of metal caught him square in the chest, sending him spiraling backward and bouncing along the ground; he dug a trench with his body before he finally slid to a halt—the metal melted and smoking on his torso.

Damage taken: 8,125 shield buster. (base 2500, 2x Sneak attack multiplier, +30% effectiveness against shields, +25% effectiveness against airborne targets.)

Exquisite Shell: 1,502/10,391.

“Here I thought I wouldn’t get another shot at you in the open after you turtled up in that little settlement you sneakily hid away,” the German-accented voice called from further down the road as Herr Trigger stood, throwing off a dirt-covered blanket that matched the ground nearly perfectly. “How did you enjoy my anti-air mark-one cannon? I feel like it could use a few more features, but how would you rate your first experience? The next version will almost certainly be able to go directly through you, as well as any protections you have in place.”

“You… suck. Why are you so good at finding and hunting me?” Joe wheezed as he scraped the molten chunk of metal off his Exquisite Shell, where it had remained after it had flattened against him.

Major Cleave appeared next to Herr Trigger in that moment, only for her axe to be deflected by a barrier of stone that appeared the instant she swung down. Herr Trigger barely spared her a glance as he answered Joe. “Why, because I am effective, efficient, and excel at everything I set my mind to doing well. I call it my ‘triple E’ rating.”

“This is bad,” the Dwarf stated calmly as she hit the stone twice more, only stopping as she discovered that the damage was being fixed at nearly the same rate that she was generating it. “This is the work of a Druid, likely one doubling as a Cleric for their nature deity.”

“Ron. Bring.” A new voice cut into the conversation only an instant before Major Cleave was tackled by a dog so large that it would put a Siberian tiger to shame. All Joe could see of his armored companion was a whirl of flesh, metal, and blood. The dog had sunk its teeth into her right arm, practically invalidating the limb, but she fought back stoically, slamming her axe down awkwardly with her left. Even so, the beast was starting to drag the Dwarf to the side of the road, where the ground began unfolding to reveal what looked like a naturally-grown iron maiden.

“Bad doggy!” Jaxon landed on the creature’s muzzle and shifted his hands into T-rex heads… except his left hand appeared completely different than before. Now, while his right hand remained a single cohesive head, the left had developed a tiny T-rex head at the top of each finger, all digging in with just as much gusto. “Drop it! She’s not a chew toy, as far as I’m aware.”

His fingers struck like snake heads, one after the other in the same spot, and he managed to adjust the muzzle of the beast to pop open. Major Cleave used that moment to boot the massive Direwolf away from her, her gear ravaged. “It’s been enhanced with metal! Those teeth have armor-piercing capabilities, so watch out!”

Joe took another round to the chest, dropping his Exquisite Shell by four hundred points. “Celestials, Trigger! How do you get those to have so much impact!”

“Every little bit,” Herr Trigger called in a sing-song tone as he pulled back the bolt of his rifle, “of mine rifle is enchanted to hit, at its maximum potential~l.”

The Ritualist tossed out his Intelligence-bound orb and sent it zig-zagging through the air at the Bounty Hunter, keeping his strength-infused projectile moving low to the ground in an arc. “You know we’re going to beat you down, Trigger!”

“I’m not trying to beat you, Joe.” The man’s black goggles automatically telescoped wider as he took aim at Joe once again, his position of using the stone barrier as a rifle stabilizer doing nothing to hide his wide smile. “All I need to do is stall you significantly. Then everything you’re working on that is contrary to my goals will fail, and my allies coming up behind you will toss you in a hole for a few months before you undergo loyalty training to make you as obedient as this good wolf over here.”

Joe was flabbergasted, and he really wanted to turn his head to gauge the incoming opponents behind him. He resisted, knowing that as soon as he did, a round would enter his chest. Herr Trigger whipped his hand to the side, a concealed revolver blasting the incoming orb away without causing him to break line of sight on Joe. “Nice try, but a trick only works on me once-*ow*!”

The second orb Joe had been stealthily controlling used that moment of distraction to swoop up at an angle and hit Herr Trigger with the equivalent of an uppercut to the lower mandible. Joe launched himself at Major Cleave, grabbing her and Omnivaulting over the barrier. She struggled against him while he used Lay on Hands to close the shredded flesh of her arm. “Put me down! I can slice and dice that Elf-”

“Major Cleave, we’re losing this battle.” That was all Joe managed to say before they hit the ground on the other side of the stone barrier, and a round took him in the back. His Exquisite Shell shattered, and the round entered his abdominal cavity, where it lit up as though it had been filled with burning phosphorus. Wheezing around it, he shoved the Dwarf at the Capital, sending her stumbling up to a Legion unit racing toward them. “You gotta live, and I’ll do my best to get the others outta here. Let’s try this again, once we’re properly outfitted with safety features.”

“Joe-”

“Retreat, Cleave,” Joe ordered her as he cast Mend on himself and turned to glare at the Bounty Hunter and his team. “Dark Lightning Strike!”

The attack landed on target, causing Herr Trigger’s henchmen to lock up, several of them popping off rounds as their muscles spasmed. A grin appeared on Joe’s face as he realized that, even though the creator of those weapons knew how to use them, the people with him were amateurs with trigger discipline.

“You can’t blast your way out of this one, Joe!” Trigger snarled as he tried to regain control of his hands.

Joe’s Ritual Orb of Intelligence swooped above the firing squad, and he cast Cone of Cold on the whole group at once. “Haha, cold people go brrr.”

“No!” Daniella’s scream cut through the noise as she was grabbed by the Elves that had been closing in on them. Jaxon raced toward her, only for a root to burst out of the soil and catch his leg. A moment later, the Direwolf latched onto him, and the Chiropractor was pulled to the ground.

Joe didn’t last long either. As he closed in on Herr Trigger, an Elf stepped out of nowhere and slammed a blade into his gut. Another simple move kept Joe pinned to the ground, but he knew that he didn’t need to worry about being captured: the Legion was moving in on them too rapidly. The trenchcoat-wearing contract killer appeared over him, a smile on his face. “One down, three to go. See you soon, Joe… we’ve got your scent now. Time to leave, team!”

“One of four what-” Joe’s question was cut off as the butt of the man’s rifle popped a blade out of it and slamed down on his head in the next second.

You have died! Calculating… as you were killed by a player, you lose 7,360 experience!

You have leveled down! Welcome back to level 22!

Combat Ritual Orbs has reached Beginner III!

Mental Manipulation Resistance has reached Apprentice 0!

Battle Meditation has reached Student II!

Dark Lightning Strike has reached Student II!

Lay on Hands has reached Student VI!

As Joe stood in his respawn room, raging against the death or capture of himself and his team, the skill increases were a cold comfort.