Implode ~ 2!

Incoming teleportation request.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. I just want to get going.” Joe growled as he stared at the message that appeared on his city command tab as soon as the teleporter came online. “How long has this person been pinging us for their message to come through as soon as the teleporter goes live? Who even is it?”

Message: Invite me in. I’ve been waiting to use the Alchemy station, and you’re almost out of time.

“Abyss and blast!” Joe yelped as he hurried to slap the ‘accept teleport’ button, and the enchantment spun to life. In a flash, a familiar foreboding figure appeared: Jake the Alchemist, standing calmly and utterly non-threateningly… in a still-somehow-menacing way.

“I was beginning to believe that you had ignored our deal. When the people I had tasked with watching you completely lost all memory of your location, I thought you may have cut and run,” the Alchemist stated without preamble as he took his first step into The Shoe. “That would have been very… not good for our future relationship.”

“How could I possibly forget you?” Joe plastered a wide smile onto his face and nodded at the oddly disconcerting man, then briefly recalled Cleocatra as well, since that seemed like an important thing to do for the leader of the Nyandrathals. “I’ve just been making sure that this location was secure before sending along the invitation. As a side note, if your watchers lost this place, that meant that they had designs that weren’t trustworthy. Better make sure not to let them know where you went.”

“I have my own methods of assuring loyalty, thank you. Let’s see this Alchemy shop, shall we? I’m looking forward to seeing what shack you managed to stuff that cauldron into without making it explode,” Jake informed the Reductionist coolly. They left the Guildhall, making their way to the completely unused and currently-unusable alchemy building. “Where are we going? Is this shack behind that eyesore in the center of this sweltering locale?”

“Eyesore?” Joe regarded the pyramid they were approaching. “That?”

“Yes. That.” The Alchemist shook his head and muttered under his breath, “No sense of subtlety at all.”

“I hate to have to tell you this, but that is the Alchemy building.” The Reductionist chuckled as the irate man did a double-take, then peered curiously at the shining walls.

“Grand Inspect. Eyes of Truth. Endless Array of Eternal Understanding.” Mana washed off the man, but not the unfocused cloud that seemed to follow anyone else that Joe had ever seen using spells. Every iota of the mana went into use, swirling out and into the building before boomeranging back, and Jake slowly began to nod. “The Pharaoh’s Pyramid of Panaceas, an Artifact-ranked Alchemy building that has not yet chosen a master for its domain. This will do. As soon as I assume control, I will consider your side of our bargain completely fulfilled.”

“Glad you like it?” Joe’s uncertainty stemmed from the fact that the Alchemist was still speaking in the same calm monotone, though it was right on the edge of being infuriated. “Anything the matter?”

“Not at all.” Jake walked up to the door, laying a hand on it and letting his mana seep from his fingertips and into the building proper. To his surprise, Joe received a confusing message.

Jake the Alchemist is attempting to bond with a building you have created! Jake the Alchemist is not a part of any faction you belong to and is unlikely to do as you ask without a deal in place. Do you want to allow the bond to complete? If you do, be aware that regaining control without his assistance and acceptance will be nearly impossible.

“Yes… I really have no other choice at this point.” Joe was concerned, but the deal had been struck, and going back on it would spell a terrible fate for himself and his Hamlet.

Lava began washing up out of the ground below the pyramid, swirling through the layer of transparent crystal that surrounded the building. Joe took a step forward as the building came to life fully for the first time since its creation, and the door began to creep open. Jake raised a brow at him. “Where do you think you’re going? Until this building is fully operational, including traps and failsafes, no one other than its master will enter.”

“Ah… I just wanted to see it, and I have a ton of Alchemical things that I need from you.” The Reductionist chuckled nervously, but the Alchemist shook his head.

“Leave a list and a recipe, if you have one. Is there someone here that can get me the things I need, or do I need to secure my own logistics?” Jake looked around and spotted a Dwarf with a cigar sticking out of his mouth sprinting toward them with a grim expression. “This one at least looks competent. Should I be asking him for things?”

“How is this building functional? Why are you still here and not sprinting to the next city over…” Havoc’s roar preceded him, fading away even as he slowed to a total stop, his eyes locked on Jake. A long period of awkward silence ate away at them until the Grandmaster flashed into motion.

Joe was sent flying by the sonic boom created by Havoc’s fist—somehow three times larger than his body—slamming into a barrier of mushroom spores that appeared around Jake with a flick of his pinky. The Alchemist remained calm, though he lightly blew a stream of smoke at the Dwarf, who laughed in his face. “Compliance powder? I invented that, and I abyss-well-better be immune to it.”

“I see. I was unaware that your people had any kind of resistance to Alchemical compounds. Let’s try something more your style: overwhelming strength.” Jake pulled a small vial from a pocket, scattering the contents into the air and mumbling quietly. In the next moment, a portal appeared in the air, and a finger the size of a house came through and poked Havoc in the chest, sending him rocketing away—streaking along until he hit the far wall and became embedded into it; magma leaking from the cracks around him. “How very interesting. He survived that without incurring a permanent debuff?”

“You’re rootin-tootin-right I did,” Havoc growled at the man as he thundered back over, though he didn’t attack again right away. “How? How is something like you here? How’d you get on the Zone, let alone into this little Hamlet in the middle of nowhere?”

“I’m a quest reward,” Jake stated without a single hint of shame, indulging in a slight smirk as though he had pulled a fast one. “Joe here contracted me to provide him with at-cost Alchemy for the next ten years, and I just got the invitation to arrive and begin my service. The time has already started. That means I work for him, so please don’t attack again. I won’t give you another light warning, which means I’ll be forced to take your attack seriously and respond appropriately.”

“You invited that thing into this Hamlet?” Havoc turned on Joe, who couldn’t get over the fact that the Dwarf had a ham-sized hole through his chest—his internal organs were on display, each of them apparently having dodged the attack that hit him. “Wait… he’s working at-cost for ten years… works for you… and you’re my Apprentice. Do you know what the transitive property is? Can I give him a list of things to do?”

“I had just specifically requested a liaison to the town,” Jake butted into the conversation.

Joe nodded at Havoc, feeling completely helpless to do anything about these two monsters in his midst. “I have a few things I need, but my true need is training, so… yeah, whatever you think you need, as long as it doesn’t get in my way.”

“Well.” Havoc looked at Jake and considered him while taking a puff on his cigar. The smoke wafted over, and Jake’s nose twitched. A moment later, the Alchemist had materialized fifteen different ingredients in the air. With a turn of his hand, they combined by themselves and dropped into a sachet.

“That should fix the power requirement issue you have with lighting those,” Jake stated as if they would just know what he meant. Havoc reached out and slowly took the small bag, peering into it curiously.

“Now that’s how you make a good first impression.” The Dwarf practically purring the compliment made Joe roll his eyes. “Okay, he can stay. You need to get out of here, and please try to stop making deals with-”

*A-hem.* Jake lightly coughed into his fist while glaring at the Dwarf.

“-entities you don’t understand.” Havoc finished lamely.

“I’m… I don’t know how to respond to that? I normally don’t?” Joe wavered between wanting to ask questions and wanting to immediately commence mass-producing potions and the like. Havoc shook his head and walked away, and Jake turned away to go do his own things, so Joe rapidly wrote down what he needed and handed it over.

Jake skimmed the requested potion and scoffed. “Give me five minutes and three seconds, and I’ll get you a binding agent for your weapons. First thing to be made in a cauldron that Alchemical Scions would kill for, and he wants binding agents. Wait here. Celestials, I work for this-”

Standing alone in front of the pyramid as the door closed in his face, Joe sighed and turned away, looking out over the ramshackle town that was slowly coming together. “It’s been a strange morning.”