Invent ~ 33!

A door appeared in the wall of a dark alley. Before this moment, there had been no indication that such a point of egress had existed, and—unlike what common sense dictated—the door did not open into the building behind it. A rain of goop and filth splattered onto the floor as a white boot stepped out and touched the ground, at which time the filthy liquid vanished as if it had never existed in the first place.

Joe breathed out a sigh of relief. “Finally out of that place. Celestial feces, I need to find an assistant that can survive in there long enough to collect my aspect jars for me. But first, food.”

The weary human made his way through the city, which was hustling and bustling even more than usual. In fact, the last time he had seen people this excited, this mobilized, the Dwarven Oligarchy had been staging an all-out assault on Gramma’s Shoe. Joe hoped that was not the case this time; he was far too busy to join in on another attack.

Eventually, he found a food stall and asked the Dwarven attendant what was going on. The young-looking Dwarf ran a critical eye over Joe's bald head and face, shuddering lightly to himself as he tried to hide his revulsion from his current customer. “Not sure if you have been living under a rock or if you are just trying to verify whether people have been telling you the truth. As far as I know, the Elves just mounted a massive campaign against the Oligarchy.”

“No!” Joe managed to mumble around what he hoped was a smoked turkey leg. “Where are they marching? Are they going after the Shoe again?”

The Dwarf shook his head in the negative. “You misunderstand. They aren't going anywhere; they already invaded. They snatched a buttload of land, nearly a five percent increase to the entire Zone than they had before. At least, if the news is correct.”

“Didn't they just lose an entire division?” Joe shook his head at the foolishness of whoever was in charge of the Elves. “How can they possibly hope to hold that land?”

“Look, human, I just sell teriyaki Pteranodon legs. You want some kind of grand strategy, go ask the Legion proper.” The vendor had apparently had enough of being polite, which was a thing that Joe understood. Frankly, it was rather refreshing to have people admit that they had their own area of specialization and preferred to focus on that, instead of offering their personal opinions. Nothing muddied the water like everyone commenting on the news of the day and offering their own take on what should be done about it.

Joe wandered toward the temples, a slight sense of urgency taking over as he observed more and more people losing their ever-lovin’ minds. For Dwarves, being terrified about an invasion appeared in the form of a whole throng of short, muscular people standing in polite, straight lines while they waited on their chance to purchase goods and services that they might need over the coming days and possibly weeks.

Humans had different reactions to the same stimuli, and those present were starting to become a problem. Joe just happened to walk past a group as someone proudly and loudly proclaimed the fact that they had chosen the ‘wrong side’ and would be defecting to the Elves as soon as possible. Nothing quite got the Dwarves riled up like traitors in their midst, and soon the earth-toned cobblestones and walls received a fresh coat of bright red paint. Wanting to distance himself from the bloody conflict, Joe decided that it was time to stop being polite and waiting in the crowds, instead activating Omnivault and skedaddling toward the temples in search of more information.

When he arrived, the Reductionist learned that it was interesting to walk past the Juggernauts, knowing that they were not there to listen to his commands. Interesting, yes; not exactly fun. Many intimidation rolls were made at that moment. Hurrying past the constructs and over to the altars, he tapped on the large open book that represented Tatum's influence in the world. “Hope you are doing well up there, big guy!”

Please at least pretend to be somewhat reverent while you are in the Temple. Good to see you as well, Joe. Ah… your accomplishments in my name haven’t been increasing, so we’re already out of time. Get to a crafting station and make a proper home for your Coffee Elemental. It's looking a little… decaf. I think-

A new sweet but firm voice interrupted their conversation, and Tatum was cut off mid-sentence. If you would like to make a direct connection to a Deity, please increase your relationship and provide DE for more monthly credit! Otherwise, as a Chosen, you can always spend a twenty-four hour period of prayer for one full minute of discussion.

“Who or what was that? Hey! Mate!” Joe glared suspiciously at his sleeve, where his otherwise pristine white Shirt of the Silkpants Mage was stained a noticeable brown. “Is that why I have been having this nasty headache for the last week? You've been lowering the dosage of caffeine I've been getting?”

There wasn't even a conciliatory burbling; in fact, the coffee elemental refused to appear. Joe tried one more time, pulling out his list and showing it to the typically perky stain directly. “Look! It's right here on the list! I put in an order for a template so that I can give you a proper home as soon as I either learn how to craft one in the Forge or generate a cool flask for you! See? I even wrote down right here, ‘ask Mate for a preference’!”

A tiny coffee bean appeared over the stain, appearing to browse the list. Joe rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mate. I know for a fact that you don't know how to read. But I'm telling you the truth.”

A tiny stream of coffee appeared above Joe’s wrist, lancing down to directly infuse caffeine into his bloodstream. The human took a deep breath as his blood felt like it was being set on fire, but moments later, he felt better than he had in an entire week. “Missed you too. I will make sure that we do something fun together sometime soon, okay?”

*Burble*!

“Any new information or spells that you think I should get access to?” This time, the Reductionist was speaking to the altar. A notification popped up in front of him as soon as he finished speaking, read off by the same sweet-firm female voice.

Your level is not currently high enough to grant you access to the next benefits designated for a Champion of Occultatum. Come back at level 25!

“Fair enough… bye, Tater-tum, Lord of potatoes.” Joe jumped to the side and laughed as lightning struck where he had been standing an instant ago. “Ahh, blasphemy is even more entertaining in this world. We have fun, you and I.”

The Ritualist proudly craned his neck to look around the large Temple. In a place like this—where the higher-ups in society came to mingle and gain benefits from literal Deities—there was always an opportunity to learn more about what was going on in the world. Soon enough, he spotted a few officers of the Legion murmuring to each other in low tones. He walked over and joined the small group as if he belonged there, until he remembered… he actually did belong there. He was a Major General now, and he didn’t need to hope for information: he could order them to give it to him.

Within a minute, he had a fairly cohesive outline of the situation.

The Elves had attacked the Western flank of Svaltarheim, swallowing a massive section of forest as well as the barrier mountains that had sprung up when the two Zones had collided and joined together. To the Dwarves, those areas only had value as defensive locations. To the Elves, a huge forest where they could practice their druidic magic, as well as mountainous regions where they could summon more powerful types of Earth Elementals, was of grave concern.

“Let me get this straight…” Joe looked the sweating, bearded Captain in the eyes as he spoke in slow, calm tones. “With all of the land that they just grabbed, the Elves are now the majority land and resource holders. Instead of an almost-perfect split, they’re now up two percent… and a pittance like that is going to require a full-blown military response?”

“Yes, sir, Major General Pyrrhic!” The Captain saluted crisply. “I hope you take to the field, sir! I understand if you need to sacrifice me to gain victory; in fact, it would be my honor to die for the cause, as many times as you need!”

The Reductionist recoiled from the bearded individual with a shocked expression. He looked around uncomfortably, only to realize that the small group which had originally been standing with them was nowhere to be seen. “Why in Eternium do you think that I would just outright sacrifice… abyss, I really hate the fact that this is the reputation that precedes me. At ease, Captain. You may leave, with my thanks for the information you provided.”

Fully unsatisfied with how the conversation had gone, Joe decided that it was time to get back to an environment where he had at least a semblance of control over what was going on. He did not want to get sucked into combat, he didn’t want to have to deal with strange logistics, he just wanted to build his little buildings and get cool rewards and accolades as he got stronger and progressed through the different zones.

The fact of the matter was, even though he had the odd trait that made it difficult to be around Elves, he really didn’t even particularly dislike them. They were simply on different sides of this realm’s conflict. At the end of the day, he would be living on another Zone and learning new and interesting ways to become powerful. Frankly, if he had the power and ability, he would force these two sides to reconcile.

“You know what?” Joe froze and gaped at the sky as if Tatum’s lightning had hit him. He stumbled outside of the temple, pausing long enough that someone ran into him and caused him to fall. The human barely even noticed, so lost in his thoughts that the Retaliation of Shadows slapping a random Dwarf didn't even register as he got back to his feet. “The only way that the Bifrost is going to open is if the main Zone quest is completed. If we do it the standard way, either the Elves are going to need to be wiped out, or the Dwarves are.”

Three eyes started shining in anticipation; the two that were peering out of his white half-mask, and the golden one etched on his forehead. “Since when have I ever done what I am told to do if I don't believe in it? Frankly, when has humanity done that? If I am able to find another way… I wonder if we can change the fate of this entire Zone.”