Desolation ~ Chapter eleven!
Added 2018-08-03 12:41:47 +0000 UTCRemoved to be in compliance with Amazon terms of service.
Comments
"He was actually mightily struggling internally to maintain the regenerative aura that he was projecting, but it was very beneficial to him to continue using it." It might make more sense to say he was "struggling mightily" than "mightily struggling". Just a though.
Justin Pieratt
2018-08-13 22:55:52 +0000 UTCYou are missing the linen part of the pillow so it would be 5 parts air, 1 part water 3 pats celestial softness 1 part fire and 1 part plant and of course 1 part infernal (the pillow is NEVER exactly right if you sleep on it)
Friedrich Bräuning
2018-08-07 16:10:06 +0000 UTCAbrupt transition when they start talking about necromancers - I had to go back and make sure I hadn't skipped anything. Maybe consider adding something like "As they walked, their conversation inevitably turned to the calamities caused by the necromancers on the mainland."
TheNorns
2018-08-07 13:02:38 +0000 UTCI'm loving these comments. "Pillow Cultivator." "Dao of the Pillow." Being someone's spirit animal? I'm living for this XD "actually mightily struggling internally" All these words end in Y. Is this to give the book narrator a tongue twister? :D " I Was the one who hired you" Capitalization of W. "He looked back to see Artorian undo a latch on his bag, releasing what appeared to be hundreds of pillows. They flowed from the bag like a river, somehow all making it through the doorway." Truly. The highest of Priorities. Pillows. Pillows Everywhere. <3
Dennis Vanderkerken
2018-08-05 18:13:22 +0000 UTCAh, yes, a pillow cultivator. 5 parts air, 3 parts celestial, 1 part water, clearly.
Matthew T
2018-08-04 05:55:48 +0000 UTCIt is both. Just like gray and grey. It can be spelled both ways.
Alex R
2018-08-04 02:06:40 +0000 UTCIs it spacial or spatial?
Leaf
2018-08-03 19:51:09 +0000 UTCEither that man is my spirit animal (...mage?) or he is some kind of badass pillow-fighter. ...or both. Cultivating the Dao of the Pillow makes him both.
Itisn1tmyname
2018-08-03 14:32:56 +0000 UTC
