Desolation ~ Chapter 7!
Added 2018-07-25 11:39:39 +0000 UTCRemoved to be in compliance with Amazon terms of service.
Comments
"The area it hit was the size of a pinhead, so it blew through his armor and splattered his innards against the back wall without hardly moving his body at large. " < end of sentence could use a little tweaking, something like "...without moving his body at all" might be a little more clear.
Monica Alexander
2018-08-30 19:56:48 +0000 UTCFun! I always like it when Manny kicks butt, but I suppose adventurers need to win once in a while.
Monica Alexander
2018-08-30 19:53:56 +0000 UTCGo Manny, go go go! Go Manny, go! Manny be good :) BTW...Is Cal every going to use mood music? I'm thinking Thunderstruck for Manny's chamber.
Justin Pieratt
2018-08-01 15:15:29 +0000 UTCCrouched in paragraph 19 should be lower case
Ryanne Ward
2018-07-25 15:54:19 +0000 UTCNow Essence only raged through a rom designed to contain it, "Rom" but I am fully uncertain about how they got the keygem " ME TOO BUDDY. ME ******'ing TOO." I'm still grinding my teeth on how they get into the floor PAST him to map the lines. -Facepalm- Chandra. That was such a revelation that Manny offing two adventurers was Cathartic.
Dennis Vanderkerken
2018-07-25 15:49:12 +0000 UTC(Now Essence only raged through a rom designed to contain it) Room? As usual thanks for the fun read. And thank for relieving my pain at the loss of a mind and a potential wisp. Now to start my Wednesday!
IhasaBangBang
2018-07-25 12:29:54 +0000 UTC
