From the Desk of Dr Toni Lodge #003

Hi, my name’s Toni, and I suck.

I woke up this morning at 7.25am and got ready and went to Ryan’s house to record a bunch of personalized videos for you fine people.

Having slept until the last possible moment to get to his house on time for 8am, I didn’t leave myself enough time to make a coffee or have any breakfast.

Most mornings I’ll have weetbix with blueberries (when I can afford them and/or when I don’t leave them in the back of the fridge to get all smooshy and useless) with honey on top. Weetbix need honey for me because I grew up SMOTHERING them in sugar because there was something about sugar in the morning we all had, or is that just me? Like Fruit Loops (or, sorry, Froot Loops) used to be crazy sugary and now they are more of a health based loop. Even Frosties aren’t that sugary anymore! They still only have like, a one star health rating but they're healthier than they ever were when I was a kid.

So my wholesome way of enjoying cereal as an adult involves honey because of the sweetness - but I tell people it’s for the myriad of health benefits that honey provides.

Then after I have my weetbix I’ll have a coffee, normally around an hour after.

I read a health blog that said having coffee first thing in the morning when you wake up spikes your cortisol level, which is stress. As a stress-head, that obviously stressed me out. I got stressed about the addition of extra, unnecessary stress.

So then I decided I’d have a coffee a bit later in the morning to avoid the cortisol levels.

I don’t actually drink coffee in the morning to wake me up, I drink it because I actually fucking love it. I love the taste, love the warmth, love the actual routine of grinding the beans and dancing to the milk frother. So pushing this fun routine back in my day meant I was delaying gratification which also felt very grown up.

I also drink coffee because on days where I realize there’s no blueberries to be found that aren’t now slime, or the weetbix box is empty, or there’s probably only enough milk left for cereal OR coffee, I pick coffee - and it fills me up.

An option for a nutritious breakfast OR a coffee? I’m going to pick coffee every time.

So back to this morning: I woke up, went to Ryan’s house - sans weetbix or coffee.

There was NOTHING in my tummy.

Ryan very kindly made me a coffee at around 8.30, and then we started working.

All of a sudden, it’s around 2 o’clock, and we’re wrapping up the things we needed to do together, and I head home to finish off the work I needed to do alone.

I actually walked home, thankyou very much (#FitFluencer) and by the time I got home it was 2.30 and I was a little bit hungry and a little bit hangry. I still had lots to do (and it’s also a hair washing day, iykyk) so I thought, I’ll just get this work done and I’ll eat something a little later.

Instead of working, I thought about how FUCKING hungry I was.

At around 3.45pm, I got REALLY hungry. But I thought to myself ‘it’s too late to eat now, I won’t eat any dinner!!!!’

Then, sitting at my desk trying to write this blog, the clock ticked over to 4.30pm and I couldn’t handle it anymore. So I ate two pieces of bread with peanut butter. Not toast, not even a sandwich - just actual bread because there wasn’t time to waste on toasting or turning into a sandwich.

THEN, completely unsatisfied, I also ate a muesli bar.

This blog is a cautionary tale for not skipping breakfast and lunch and eating when you’re hungry and fueling yourself up instead of being a fuckhead like me and putting it off and just making everything worse (and making myself angrier because I hadn’t eaten anything lol)

So now I’ve definitely eaten a lot and won’t be hungry at dinner time and it would have just been better for everyone involved if I’d just eaten at 2.30pm. Like I said, I suck. Lesson learnt.

Please tell me I’m not the only adult who can’t be trusted to eat on time?!

My 4.45pm victim - 'blog fuel'

Love ya,

Toni x