Chapter 62
Added 2021-07-29 04:05:13 +0000 UTCAuthor's Note:
In accordance with the Kindle Unlimited release, Chapters 1 through 38 have been removed. This post itself has been preserved for the sake of the comment section.
Comments
Easy way to unhook them, walk out, drop a waymark, walk back in drop a waymark and teleport them out. But possibly not as viscerally satisfying as chopping up a plant vampire.
Rande Knight
2021-08-12 06:14:22 +0000 UTCHmmm i wonder how long i can go withouth going to the next tier Level. I want moar, lol
Fetteworst
2021-08-05 06:14:20 +0000 UTCBe even better if Jason wins the fight. He seems to have a levelling system and Blight on Earth to grind. Wonder how fast he would level up if he joined the army to fight the invasion?
CMDR Dantae
2021-07-30 08:07:43 +0000 UTCI'm going to lose my fucking mind if he gets to earth and/or Jason comes to Elatra, and Rob just fuckin kills him assuming its a trick
Ariez Weatherford
2021-07-30 02:36:10 +0000 UTCGlad you enjoyed it :)
KamikazePotato
2021-07-29 20:33:48 +0000 UTCI feel like this concern is mostly (but not entirely) assuaged by the proverbial jig being up from the get go. The early attempt to convince him doesn't really require the dramatic irony because his conviction is so clear. It would have felt stilted if he had even somewhat believed, but he didn't.
Logrus
2021-07-29 19:49:59 +0000 UTCHey man, Rob can have rage coursing through a singular vein if he wants
Max Thomas
2021-07-29 19:34:27 +0000 UTCThis feels really obligatory, like "well I guess I should have a scene where he's tempted to think the entire adventure up to this point was a dream and he's been on Earth the whole time". The earlier vignettes from Earth involving Jason completely undermine it though and obviously there has never been a fantasy novel since the beginning of time where it WAS all just a dream, so I'm not really sure it's worth going through the motions. Not trying to tell you what to do with your story but I would skip the bit at the start where they try to convince him it's just a dream, re-jig it to where they're asking him to come home or telling him how much they miss him, maybe from the other side of a portal or something, and then segue into the whole "You WILL end up leaving them though, won't you" stuff. Make it more like a temptation scene and less like a trick. That will seem more malevolent and like I said the trick has zero chance of emotionally involving the reader anyway.
Jason Hornbuckle
2021-07-29 14:14:38 +0000 UTC"White-hot fury coursed through Rob’s vein." Should probably be veins
Jason Hornbuckle
2021-07-29 14:11:20 +0000 UTCWow, another amazing chapter.
Catra
2021-07-29 12:48:39 +0000 UTCOh hell yes. That was a way more enjoyable chapter than expected. The mind-rape is such a cliche that playing it as Rob not buying that shit for a second, combined with it being awful even though he knows it's fake, and quickly moving into the reveal instead of dragging it out? Oh so satisfying. Repugnant is such a good, strong word that one so rarely gets to use. I definitely recommend taking the three descriptors of Not-Jason near the start of the chapter and breaking it up from the rest of the sentence you have it paired with currently. That description is meaty and deserves some weight added to it. Whether after a semicolon or as its own sentence or however you do it. The overall rage and lashing out was pretty enjoyable. Offhand mentioning his legs being eaten as more believable was pretty funny. You'd think that you coming up with a dozen different titles to describe the hallucinatory characters as being not real throughout the chapter would get old but it really doesn't.
Ziggy
2021-07-29 08:23:33 +0000 UTC... An added PS thought, under an "oh shit" thought. Is if Rob had a 'life like' nightmare. Wonder what everyone ELSE is dreaming of, in their own "LSD Dream dungeon/nightmare", lotus eater machine wise. And the possible horror on how it might warp, or affect their reactions in a medium/long term... And that's before Rob's now got 'a' skill, that might just make him "Oh shit", not get instantly mind whammy fucked, by malicious Mind Mages that may want to Lobotomy his brain. At least?
Arcane Hermit
2021-07-29 08:16:47 +0000 UTCAt this level of revelry. I don't know if it's gone from malicious spite, to malicious tsundere. But the System's sure having a grand time, with having a laugh WITH Rob, no doubt. Or, "in before the rules laugh, at cheating Rob making his madness having enemies suffer shandefreude." (Or that psychic monster catching vampiric empathy, before getting cut out by Rob's madness.)
Arcane Hermit
2021-07-29 06:54:57 +0000 UTCI'll look that up. Love me some 'how does he keep surviving this bullshit?' stories.
KamikazePotato
2021-07-29 06:47:46 +0000 UTC"one day, you won't wake up" if that's the system talking it sounds like they're a lot more upset than I thought... Haven't seen someone survive this much bullshit since Adrian Saunders from "Salvage" and I'm loving it
Austin Boone
2021-07-29 06:45:40 +0000 UTCYou have no idea how long I've had that dumb reference planned.
KamikazePotato
2021-07-29 05:24:55 +0000 UTCI Never thought I would see a SpongeBob reference in This story color me surprised got a good Laugh from it as well
Andrew Mack
2021-07-29 05:03:50 +0000 UTCWe'll have to see if their third crawl keeps the trend going.
Lictor Magnus
2021-07-29 04:49:42 +0000 UTC"I went on a dungeon crawl and all I got was some new existential angst"
Nathan Linder
2021-07-29 04:42:26 +0000 UTC
