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James_D_Fawkes
James_D_Fawkes

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[Hereafter] Chapter XLV: The Plains Dyed Red

Let's see if you guys get the reference.

Originally, a certain someone was supposed to escape and return to menace Chaldea later, but I got to that part, and, well, it just didn't happen the way I was originally planning. Oh well. Plenty of ways to tweak things around.

Also got a look at one of the other summoned emperors, at least partly. Kind of. Sort of. Look, I teased his Noble Phantasm at least, right?

EDIT: Added a few lines to smooth out a certain part. Let me know if this works better.

EDIT2: Moving down all the way.

Comments

“As if he could talk” - Taylor is going to get so upset later, when she finds out he can use actual words.

V01D

If you've been in the thread over on Sufficient Velocity... Well, no, if you're completely ignorant of Fate overall, even saying what I said over there won't explain much, will it? So the short, uncomplicated answer is that Fou and Taylor are very similar in a very specific way, and they have an instinctive sense for that, so there's this pressing feeling of, "This is a rival I can't turn my back on." The complicated answer involves a much deeper understanding of Fate, and a comment thread on this post isn't the best place to get into that. When the time comes that you understand what I mean by saying, "They're both Beast candidates," then it will make much more sense. They're like Kama and Kiara, in that sense.

Caractacus

Being completely ignorant about Fate overall and Fate GO... is there a valid reason for Taylor's problem with the little creature that follows them around? It's been a background worry for her long enough that the only simile I can come up with is Kyubey from Madoka and that's soooo not a good thing, if it's a good comparison.

Waldo Terry

I made one last attempt by changing what Aife barks at Emiya. Instead of just telling him to stop, she threatens to beat the shit out of him if he takes one step towards the fight.

Caractacus

I’m guessing Lancelot will either be a little upset he wasn’t there to avenge the insult to Arturia, or feel given the circumstances when he was alive and Lucius fought her he wouldn’t deserve it.

Marc Beans

A simpler option is to just remove the little talk between Emiya and Taylor on interfering in the previous chapter.

Marc Beans

Put a bunch of rulers and egos in the same metaphorical room and tell them they’re equals and subordinates is a powder keg yeah, though Fate being Fate they’d probably respect Romulus enough to follow him by and large. It’s the small things that really stick out though.

Marc Beans

Well if it helps, the issue is mainly in that Emiya actually STOPS at first. It was entirely predictable that Aife would bark at him. What do you think of something like her pushing her opponent back for a second and throwing her spear at his feet or something, something more than the verbal protest Emiya and Taylor would expect?

Marc Beans

Let's try this again, then, beginning with, "The words were on the tip of my tongue." I really don't want to have to delete that segment or rework it too much, because it might not flow as well if I do.

Caractacus

I saw the “last moment” addition but it, doesn’t really change anything.

Marc Beans

On the other hand, the emperors all have their own plans and ambitions, so maybe they're not all as loyal to Romulus and his cause as they say they are, are they...

Caractacus

The perils of serialization. Especially in chapters that are written two or three weeks apart, or more, it can get very easy to lose some of the finer details of interactions.

Caractacus

I do like the general concept implied in this, the idea that the Roman Empire was one of the biggest and most infamous producers of Heroic Spirit worthy candidates dedicated to a national concept, ergo, you can conceivably see a lot being summoned and working really well together on an immense scale, as in the United Empire.

Marc Beans

This doesn’t make sense. The update directly prior to this had Emiya and Taylor agree, barely even had to discuss it, that Emiya would leap in to help Aife regardless of her pride. Now Emiya is hesitating and Taylor is too? Maybe if it had been spontaneous, but this was a preplanned move, and just doesn’t make sense.

Marc Beans


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