Interlude 10.f: Mild Mannered Mouse
Added 2020-08-04 01:16:52 +0000 UTCTook an extra day or so to get the editing team together to help finish this, but now it's done!
...Or we think. I'm fairly happy with it, but the editors felt, "Well, it's technically really good, but I can't help but feel like we're missing something," so if there's something you think is off, feel free to say so.
Keep an eye out for the timeskip! Last chapter skipped ahead about six months from the chapter before it, and that pattern continues here.
Enjoy, everyone.
Comments
Entirely fair! In regards to the tonal shift, I don’t think it’s that drastic of a shift because of the underlying tension. MP might act cheesy and hammy but this is *Worm* after all and you don’t making a decade as a hero, independent to boot, without wit and seeing the worst the world has to offer. (I really liked the line about joking in order to prevent herself from breaking down). There’s an underlying tension throughout the entire piece that MP pretends to be oblivious and once she’s not being observed my MM, the facade falls away. (Sorry if I’m once again spewing nonsense but y’all did an excellent job, on this piece and in general!)
Skrubstar
2020-08-04 23:17:29 +0000 UTCMm! Yeah, I can see that perspective. That wasn't really what the editors were unsure about - they were worried about the tonal shift in the transition from fun, bouncy, hammy Mouse Protector to Melanie's navel-gazing in the second half - but you're right to think that not *everything* has been taken care of and not *all* major threats are being handled. Scion is still the main focus, so they're cleaning up what they can while they prepare and using the challenge of these enemies to test out some things. There have to be *some* threats for them to go out and handle after Scion is gone, right? Even if the story ends with Scion, their lives go on.
Caractacus
2020-08-04 15:50:11 +0000 UTCHello there, I'm usually the bad kind of reader who rarely left a comment but for this one I must do it. (And I need to edit because patron don't like the enter button) I love how you included MP, and how she was invited. She will be as I see it, the ray of sunshine that will make them have a more balanced thought process because they are in majority too much intense : Vista, armmaster, apocrypha, amy and I think that foresaw and burnscar if they ever join for one reason or another will be too out of guilt. The only 2 who can lighten the moral load are tattletale and clock. And he seemed a little overwhelmed in an earlier interlude. So in short MP maybe joining is glorious and really a good idea. Also Skrubstar MM said that they were galivating across the country so we can expect them to have done more. And the s9 is already a big morsel. Behind the scene we can easily expect the Nazis gang in Europe targeting them as revenge, the yangbang trying to capture them covertly, or them helping dragon without telling the world. What we learned Is from MM in a conversation focused on MM feelings not on the team. So they only told the highlight of what they know. Anyway it make me want the next arf more and more. ^^ and whoaaa for someone who rarely left a comment I leave a lengthy one.
setsuna911
2020-08-04 08:58:00 +0000 UTC(Sorry if I’ve missed any of your implications and those threats are actually gone, My memory can be a bit foggy at times)
Skrubstar
2020-08-04 01:35:21 +0000 UTCWhile I’m not the most cognizant person out there, maybe it’s a lack of presence? Taylor’s burned through half of her time yet it doesn’t seem too much has happened. She’s taken out the SH9, Cleaned up Sherrel, but it feels like there’s too many loose strands perhaps? If those two points are still conversation topics, it almost implies that she didn’t do anything more major/groundbreaking if those and the walls are still major points on people’s minds. The Butcher/Teeth are still around, and I presume Nilbog, and other threats are still around. A year is a long time when two is the time before the big fight. These are just my personal thoughts though, so it could very well be something else.
Skrubstar
2020-08-04 01:33:36 +0000 UTC
