Time for some real shit. (vent)

I don't think people really find me that important due to the lack of content I create I try my hardest but this pandemic has got me so burnt out it's killed my mood too much to draw nowadays  I just want to find a job without worrying about catching an incurable virus.

I feel like my seasonal depression is kicking in I just don't know if I feel sad or not, not to mention I have been staying up really late and not waking up and/or getting out of bed 'til it's like, past noon. It's gonna strike me one day and it'll hurt. 

Not to mention my social skills are slowly withering away thanks to the lockdown and I don't got much to say, even though I'm trying to voice chat with friends to try and eliminate that problem. My folks tell me I sound like a retarded child that doesn't know how to use words. I mean, I guess they're right. I spend all day doing nothing in my four walls, ordering pizza, playing video games, doing horny shit, and delaying on my commissions that I keep on telling myself, I should work on, but my body's like "I'm not prepared to take that task yet".  When will I learn... There's just a lot of things wrong with me, at least, I think is wrong with me. And there's nothing I can do to fix it, not right now. 

One more thing, and it's personal.. I've been feeling.. less feminine. People have been misgendering me because of my voice, my body has been in the same hairy, oily, gross male shell I was unfortunately born in, and I'm just turned down whenever my parents say I'm not a girl. It just doesn't feel the same when I want to be what I want to be so I can feel comfortable and cute about myself... But it seems I'll have to be male in my harsh reality, to make my folks happy.. That is, until I'm able to move out, but I need my social skills.. and a job. But those two got fucked up because of a deadly pandemic. And it's reasonable, but it's just another excuse to be a hermit for another 12+ months before I'm even gonna feel safe to go out more and more again. An employment center CALLED ME for available positions a month ago. I haven't responded cuz I'm awful at important talks like this. I'm only good at talking about being silly, horny stuff, and games, all while micspamming funny memes on my soundboard..

I've been losing patrons because of my inactivity, and I feel like I don't even deserve to have this Patreon still up if I'm not making as much content as I'd like to. I'm not a machine and this year feels like a really bad dream that I would just love to wake up from. Fuck I'm surprised y'all are still fucking sticking with me and supporting me financially when I'm in constant rough spots with my mother asking me for money while simultaneously giving me crap for how I make my money, "drawing animals with dicks and vaginas", saying it's illegal and shit. Sure it's fucking weird but this community is much more than just porn and you guys prove you're not here just for the porn, but to support me in every single way. For that I thank you and I hope to make more content soon, even if my body doesn't feel up to the grind. 

Expect some uploads tomorrow.