EXTRA 2.5 – Espresso
Added 2025-06-18 07:17:50 +0000 UTCI stood at the front of the boba shop, staring into the abyss of the menu.
There were forty-seven choices. Forty-seven. Who needs that many permutations of tea and regret?
Behind me, someone fake-coughed because I’d been here for seven minutes. I ignored them. This was an art. A war. A lifestyle.
The teenager at the counter smiled too wide. “Hi! Ready to order?”
I pointed dramatically at the menu. “How sweet is ‘regular sweet’?”
“Uh… pretty sweet?”
“How sweet is extra sweet?”
“Um. Sweeter?”
I squinted at him like he just told me water was wet. “And half sweet?”
He panicked. “Half as sweet?”
I slapped my hand on the counter, nearly knocking over the charity tip jar. “Okay. Okay. Genius. I’ll have—” I paused for drama. “—a large brown sugar milk tea with pudding and boba, half sweet, less ice. And can you add a shot of espresso?”
His pen stopped moving. “Espresso? In boba?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not… on the menu…”
“It is now.”
He stared. I stared back, daring him to fight me.
Behind me, the line shuffled impatiently. Someone muttered something about “crazy boba lady.” Whatever. They could die mad.
Five minutes later, I stood triumphant on the sidewalk, sipping my abomination like a raccoon drinking stolen champagne. It was perfect. Sweet chaos in a cup. Exactly what I needed before three hours of pretending I have my life together on stream.
I slurped, the pudding hit my straw wrong, and I nearly choked right there by the bus stop.
God. I love boba.
