Rough chapter, prior to Editing Gang edits.
Added 2020-10-04 14:58:36 +0000 UTCSo, the writing bug hit this morning (couldn't sleep, heartburn and upset stomach). This is what I got done literally this morning, before the EG fixes it all up.
Comments
Great
Azrael66
2020-10-05 16:59:33 +0000 UTCHOLY HELL THAT WAS RAD. Every time Uressa shows up, I'm reminded once again why she's my favorite character. What a powerful scene! Also, this is surprisingly clean for a first draft. All the issues I spotted on first read-through are stylistic in nature, no glaring "any idiot could see the logic flaws in this idea" plot holes or anything, maybe a couple instances of talking heads. But overall, nothing that interferes with communicating the plot beats or emotional core of the chapter. That's pretty damn solid for work produced during an episode of generally painful insomnia. I really appreciate that you allow us these peeks behind the writer's curtain! This plus the partial chapter outline you posted earlier have offered some valuable process insights for me.
Bea Winters
2020-10-04 23:16:53 +0000 UTCLooks good
Alex S
2020-10-04 20:03:01 +0000 UTCHuh. The events unfold quicker than I expected, but maybe this will still get "filled" a little bit. Looks solid so far. HYPE IS NOW AT 200% AND INCREASING
Eggnogui
2020-10-04 15:17:15 +0000 UTC