Lost OzLand - Story Draft - Concept 1, ver 0.2
Added 2020-08-20 23:38:51 +0000 UTCDear Insane Children,
As I've outlined previously... we have a dedicated Business Development person on the team now. He's tasked with helping us take the Alice: Asylum pitch to a variety of investors and publishers. He's asked that we also provide one or two more pitches for the discussions as this helps to increase the chances that something gets funded. It gives our team and studio a bit of depth. So we're working on a couple of small pitch documents - starting with a few ideas based on The Wizard of Oz (book series by Baum).
Here's an Oz pitch outline drafted by Alex based on a couple of brainstorming sessions. This is our "Jurassic Park meets Westworld meets Oz" variation. We're working on a "Lost" variation as well.
Have a read and let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
OzLand Lost
Working Title • Elevator Pitch / Synopsis
V2 - 20.08.20
Written by American McGee and Alex Crowley
Core Plot:
Machine vs. Magic / With Man in the Middle. We can do this. But should you?
Events:
• In future, people can experience life either in person, or as VR avatars.
• Oz is found, then bought / owned by a global megacorp.
• Through a series of events, Oz is marketed and launched as a theme park.
• Magic of Oz, controlled through the machines of global megacorp.
• Magic cannot be controlled, causes destruction and death in theme park.
• Player is initiated by global megacorp to investigate the cause of destruction, but is reluctant due to past experience with Oz, or knowing the danger of what is involved.
• Girl who used to work at park > Forgets > But you have to help us! > Reluctant savior
• Player arrives in Oz, veil is quickly lifted, accompanying team is killed, mystery needs to be resolved. This is the hero’s journey.
• Who, what, where, why, when.
Who:
D0rothy (player?)
Global Megacorp (Emerald)
Emerald Employees (Who?)
Oz Characters / Wizard? - (Head of Emerald)
Tin Man? Lion? Scarecrow?
Patrons of Park?
ToTo?
What:
Blood drenched mystery ruckus in the magical Theme Park of Oz, OzLand, owned and operated by evil global megacorp, Emerald.
Where: (locations?)
Hidden Island “OzLand”, Themepark, Earth, Emerald HQ Complex / Beyond?
Why: Player will discover the cause of destruction, and prevent / cause more of it.
When: Future Based - Sci Fi / Tech mixed with Arcane Magic of Oz.
Alex’s second attempt at knitting pieces together.
Less chaff. Feeling like a better fit now.
BACKGROUND:
Our World & The Land of Oz:
The story begins in the future, our Earth.
Social media and human interaction has progressed (devolved) to the point where the norm is for people to pilot humanoid robots / androids, like a VR experience, rather than visit places in person.
Human to human interaction still occurs, but it is of high society to protect oneself and live your best life within an android avatar.
Earth is blessed with advanced technology. On the surface, it is prosperous and autonomous, thanks largely to the monopolous influence of “Emerald”.
Emerald is a global conglomerate that controls health services, infrastructure, military technology, entertainment, social security, law enforcement, tourism and living arrangements. Basically your life.
In Emerald Corp we trust.
The magical Land of Oz is in our world, but cannot be reached with ordinary means.
The magical gateway to Oz is located off the Southern West Coast of the Americas, close to the equator.
It can only be accessed via a magical gateway, opened by freak tornadoes / hurricanes.
The Oz “rumour” is investigated by a team of scientists / researchers working for Emerald.
The gateway is opened by an artificial tornado, manipulated and controlled by Emerald technology. A mysterious Emerald scouting team passes through the Gateway to Oz.
The team explores the world of Oz, finding only ruins.
A beautiful mysterious graveyard, a world lost and destroyed by an unknown catalyst.
Returning after a triumphant expedition, Emerald announces to the world it’s groundbreaking discovery. A lost world of magic, wonder and a fresh new place to explore for the world.
Claiming the land of Oz as Emerald property, (trademarked and secured) the company announces opening Oz to the world!
Witness the glory and beauty of a lost civilisation. See it from the safety of your own Android. Come and explore the wonderful world of Oz. A never before seen NEW location on Earth.
For a price.
OzLand Open for Business:
The OzLand theme park is hastily constructed to maximize on the “buzz” generated by the discovery. Emerald constructs a sprawling theme park overlay, strewn amongst the ruins and existing structures of Oz.
It is a beautiful harmony of cutting edge technology and immaculately crafted customer experiences, all dotted amongst the infinite Oz oddities, dormant and lost to time.
The Emerald owned and operated theme park, restaurants and accommodation facilities are monolithic in size. They are gleaming towers of pristine construction, littering the horizon. The park is tied into the lore we automatically associate with Oz.
(Yellow brick roads, witches, colourful cities, magic, adventure).
A fun, elaborate, well crafted park, suited for all ages, there’s something for everyone!
The park is built over and carved into the ruins. Modern technology and architecture bleeds in and out of ancient and organic citadels, castles and mysterious structures.
The park itself is populated of a mix of real-life performers and android / piloted patrons, all carefully curated and scripted to enhance a customer’s experience in the Land of Oz.
Photo opportunities cost extra.
As the park opens to thunderous applause and a rampage of customers, something else stirs from below the carefully constructed Oz Theme Park facade. Something secret, something sinister.
OzLand Truth:
Emerald has always known there is more to Oz than meets the eye.
Their initial scouting team consisted of representatives from Military, Health and Infrastructure. Why the haste to capitalize on the Oz discovery?
The faint signals of unknown energy sources were also discovered.
Magic. A new and possibly limitless energy supply.
Content to pass on the tourism duties, theme park operation and monetary generation to Emerald’s relevant division, the construction of the theme park also houses gigantic, underground secret Military spec research divisions.
These hidden laboratories and expedition crews have been created with the sole intent of unlocking and exploiting the secrets of the newly discovered Oz magic.
Emerald’s tourism and lifestyle division is an unknowing front.
They are purposely occupied with generating money and allowing the public to explore the selected areas of Oz on the surface. They assume all is safe. They are wrong.
Patrons and most Emerald Theme Park Employees are oblivious to Emerald’s underground research efforts.
The secretive research attempts to manipulate, and control the dangerous magic of Oz, culminate in radical experiments, designed to control the Oz magic.
While small successes and advances are made, the core of Oz magic remains a mystery. Emerald fails time and time again, until one day, calamity.
A mysterious large scale explosion destroys the research centres, and decimates Oz, the Theme Park and a large portion of the Emerald research facilities.
Unstable magic rips across the land. Androids, human lives and Oz inhabitants are killed, or changed by the magic in droves.
Affected inhabitants exhibit changes in three distinct ways:
1. Unstable Psychosis / Telekinesis (Brains).
2. Untamed Bloodlust, Ferocity (Courage).
3. Insatiable Desire to consume specific flesh of humans and wildlife, namely (hearts).
Or a dangerous mix of the above.
The smouldering island remains, wrought with ruin, broken cities and death.
Oz Magic is out of control, and Emerald needs to clean up this mess before the whole world is made aware of it.
Stock prices could drop.
Enter <The Player> Dorothy 2.0?:
Dorothy (player) appears to be a blank slate.
Re-awakened, deep within the Emerald research facility, Dorothy is coerced to investigate the park, and sort this mess out. Her memory wiped, she is unsure of who she is, or what she is? Only that she must help Emerald.
Is she a hosted Android shell, piloted by the brain in a jar of the real “Dorothy”?
Is she someone who has prior experience with the park? An employee, a part of the park, stored away and protected for a mysterious reason.
Is she a defective Android shell from the Theme Park?
De-commissioned and awakened by the Oz Magic now surging through the park?
Or, is she someone with prior experience of being in the park, (a researcher, or tied closely to Emerald) and with her knowledge is coerced into getting to the bottom of it all. Despite her reluctance, through a series of events, D0rothy is deep in the thick of this mess.
She does not want to return. She does not want to be in Oz.
But does so, against her will to investigate on behalf of Emerald.
Once active in OzLand, her accompanying team is swiftly killed off, leaving her to unravel the mysteries of Oz on her own.
What is her connection to this world? Is she the catalyst? Is she the reason?
Is she subconsciously piloted by the original Dorothy? What caused all this bloodshed? Who’s to blame?
This is her journey.
Dorothy is no longer in Kansas anymore.
She is in hell.
----
That's it for the online of that variation of the story.
A few things to keep in mind:
Of all the pitch meetings I've been in where we've sold an idea "on spec" there's always the assumption that what's pitched is probably only slightly similar to the thing that ultimately gets made. In other words, this is a first draft. It'll give people a sense of the team's style and creativity but it's not a set-in-stone template for the game or story we'll ultimately end up delivering. So... we don't need to tear this apart too much. The main thing is that we have a decent foundation, a beginning-middle-end, and some great artwork.
Omri provided the rough sketch (main image, above) attached here. We'll include some location, character, and "hero" images in the pitch document.
There's room for a few little tweaks if you happen to throw out some interesting ideas in the Crowd Design.
Next up, we'll look at the "Lost" variation of the story.
From Shanghai with Toto (Lulu),
-American
Comments
Love it...reminds me of bioshock series yet background like infinite. Think this could be the next game and a tease cameo to present game. Where Alice’s adventures to next. Like alternate universe. Alice can connect with Dorothy (alternate universe self), much like how she goes between realities in game already.
2020-09-01 13:58:58 +0000 UTCReally liking the ideas!!!
Sarah McKeegan
2020-08-26 23:43:14 +0000 UTCa OZ cameo in asylum ??
adrian vasquez
2020-08-24 20:46:31 +0000 UTCSo i love this concept ALOT! I Definitely thinks it gets a really unique version of OZ across. I do have some ideas tho. I was thinking you should Definitely play around with the concept of ancient civilizations. Like all the buildings and streets are covered in glyphs that they aren't sure have any meaning. I also think maybe for the creation of these "Mutants"? We should pull character inspirations from the stories and introduce them in twisted way. I was somewhat inspired by the "Fallout" games for that concept. Also imagine if the scientists released a curse from one of the obelisks they discovered where the witches (north,south,South, and west) all take control of bodies and wreak even more havoc. We take their defining characteristics and make them horrible and gory and mutant like. Then maybe we have animal hybrids and unusual weather patterns flora that is alive (corn fields that bite and berry bushes that catch) Oz has a new life and its bright and absolutely horrific full of death and destruction. We cpuld even include princess langwidere(who lobs pf the heads of young women and wears them instead of her own head) and perhaps even the Nome king who has an army if undead Nomes made of crystal at his command. Then Enter Dorothy who is a mutant that has been perfected. She has similar abilities to the creatures in Oz but has control over them. As she travels through Oz which is both magical and Macabre she pieces together the mystery of her forgotten past. She is apart of an elite creation of super shoulders imbued with magical abilities. Most escaped in the blast or died during testing and she was the only one of her kind to exist whole and so she is the only one who can fight the overpowered creatures released by an ancient civilization disturbed by modern man.
2020-08-23 22:52:59 +0000 UTCThis will be a different game. It has nothing to do with Alice
Wiki
2020-08-22 17:24:23 +0000 UTCI won't spoil myself reading this to far. Although, as far as i read this is awesome.
Saleh Abu-Rashid
2020-08-22 15:46:03 +0000 UTCSo where's Alice in all this. Do we just say you know what I'm Alice and I'm down to go stop the craziness that's going down in Oz. I thought we we're going back down the rabbit hole to when Alice first traveled to Wonder Land. I really don't see how the two are connected. If Alice magically wanders into Oz from a gateway that opens up in Wonderland due to the crazy magic explosion that happened at the Oz theme park. Which at that point, as soon as Alice walks through the portal she runs into D0rothy getting attack by the monsters of Oz. Which opens up the new chapter to Alice's next adventure.
2020-08-21 23:14:03 +0000 UTCAlso going roundabout and commenting again. I think PJ Scott voiced a lot of how I am viewing this draft. Including going in on the concepts loudly even though it's not really needed here. I know this is just a draft but I guess I just really wanted to put this out there anyway. But all of that and other influences aside, I just think the pitch is uninteresting in general. And small thing to point out. D0rothy looks dangerously close to someone accidentally capitalizing an O when they're typing quickly. It's hard to distinguish if it's intentional spelling or a typo visually (at least for me).
RedBreloom
2020-08-21 18:50:25 +0000 UTCI've had the same thing happen to me. My comment from this morning has just disappeared 😫
2020-08-21 15:55:11 +0000 UTCTin Man? Lion? Scarecrow? Patrons of Park? Magic cannot be controlled and causes death and destruction: Maybe have them be NPCs like you had mentioned that turn to free thinking characters. Emerald could have placed a veil of suppression on them turning them into park attractions for knowing something they shouldn't. You could maybe include them with her not knowing/remembering herself too. Like they were all members of a well-known party that were put to sleep by Emerald. Not like the investigation team you talked about, but more like a guild party. ToTo I think would be fun to toss in as something she obtained as an in game novelty pet or something along those lines like you'd get in an MMO. I’m kinda stuck on an MMO feel with this whole thing. I agree with what someone had said above about there not being much about the original story itself but just kinda hints to it. I think the corporation discovering the area and maybe having manipulated/trapped original residents which started to poison the magic would be cool. You’d be able to do really creepy versions of notable characters as bosses and give them a recognizable backstory after their defeat either restoring them or downloading/obtaining some kind of data that will help D0rothy figure out what’s going on and how to fix things.
2020-08-21 15:52:30 +0000 UTCBtw I think the courage and heart enemies sounds the same to me, bloodlust and eating people doesn't differ that drastically from a gaming standpoint.
2020-08-21 07:47:28 +0000 UTCIt also already has parts which sounds a lot like Lost :)
2020-08-21 07:46:11 +0000 UTCI like how the concept sounds however my first thought was Ready Player One. It also sounds a little too much like a zombie game with the courage and heart enemies. I would rather the idea of fully mech or android enemies. Maybe flying monkeys where you can see monkey but also the mechanical skeleton etc through areas that have had the skin burnt off. Also got to have the witches in somewhere! Like I said though as a draft I think there are some really cool ideas
2020-08-21 07:41:22 +0000 UTCI would love to see your sisters story made into a game. Is that still a possibility?
Wiki
2020-08-21 07:13:51 +0000 UTCSkimming over it it sounds good, on a side note if you model Dorothy it would be cool if she was an unlockable character in Alice asylum, Alice could be unlockable in the oz game. Also creepy carnivale would be really cool here you could do a lot with that alone. Not sure if you have mention the game style though action platforming? Atmospheric horror I could imagine it being like bioshock or silent hill to be honest one side of oz being the “colourful” side before something pulls Dorothy into the spooky dark hell oz
2020-08-21 07:08:20 +0000 UTCI wanna play it right now! That concept of how the magic is affecting the infected/victims is freaking BRILLIANT! Once this game hits steam Im buying it day one!
2020-08-21 06:15:14 +0000 UTCI'm sorry. I know you said it doesn't need torn apart, but please hear me out because I love Oz and your work: I always get very leery of hat-on-a-hat. Ozombie was steampunk and Oz and zombies, and now some potentials are Oz and cyberpunk and theme park, or Oz and Lost but, I also know that's how a lot of pitches have to exist, you have to define what you're mixing by properties that already exist so the companies know how to market, etc etc. But over-saturation is a thing! There is nothing about that pitch that appealed to me as an Oz fan. There were no real references to the books, there were vague story beats that were uninspiring to me (The company's name is Emerald?) and not unique. Sci-Fi's Tin Man? NBC's Emerald City? That Oz comic on kickstarter right now? All these have aspects of what you're talking about aside from the shared source material. Outside of the zombies and steampunk, Ozombie had some cool ass concepts from the books. Enemies that can't die. Various kingdoms and colonialism. KILLING GODS, I mean, destroying the Council of Immortals and pointing out the parallels to the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion? No one had done that before in Oz and that shit was brilliant. I know you want to start over, and that's cool, but I just mean that I believe you can get there by keeping it simple with the source material. People were draw to Alice for the horror elements but they stay because it's a clever adaptation of the world and it's smart and it's a story full of heart. There are no major video games where you can explore a fully realized Oz. That's a big deal to begin with. Think on it.
2020-08-21 04:26:00 +0000 UTCI like Lucky Dragon's take much better. The exploitative, greedy megacorp mucking up absolutely everything + you (player) are the poor bastard that gets roped in to save the day cos everyone else died five minutes in... I find that’s not something I’d want to play. Gonna drop my feelings here. I read (or absorbed summaries of) tons of scifi dystopia books in highschool. The Big Three (1984, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451) included. Though I only liked F.451 out of the three. In general though, I think I related to the feelings of life/some outside force trying to constantly beat the characters into the ground. And then how they (usually) managed to make it to the end. Even if they lost some pieces along the way. So, that is not a genre I enjoy at all anymore. It’s not fun or exciting, it’s just exhausting. So I think if its going to be dark or gritty, please at least frame it in a more colorful spin. I don’t entirely know what this may add to the conversation, but this is important enough to me for me to say this and post it.
RedBreloom
2020-08-21 04:05:47 +0000 UTCI’ve been thinking about the concept of Oz as a theme park, and while that is interesting I suppose, it’s not terribly organic to Baum’s stories. Now that doesn’t mean that some form of this idea cannot continue on. I may not like the idea that all of Oz is a theme park, but if the Emerald City was the theme park where all the affluent 1%ers went to ignore the rest of Oz and it’s problems, that works for me. It doesn’t stray to far from the Oz canon to show an Oz that was once a unified country that split into 4 separate countries, while the Emerald City became its own sovereignty. I can see the Wizard as a self promoting Walt Disney type, creating an illusion of peace at the center of Oz for the rich elites, while the rest of Oz has become a barren waste with warring factions and Witches have taken over large sections. The Emerald City would be a very Disneylandesque version of Oz, sanitized and commoditized. While the rest of the people of Oz cannot even escape to the manufactured serenity of the Emerald City because it’s prohibitively expensive, requiring you to purchase an expensive day pass ticket to enter. There’s a lot of social political themes you could play with that I think American in particular is apt to tackle. I also think it’s important to make Oz and Dorthy real, otherwise it undercuts the stakes, and it sounds a bit derivative of Ready Player One if you ask me. It definitely needs to be its own thing without straying too far from the themes and lore present in Baum’s books. What I am suggesting is a middle ground between where you are at right now and still in keeping with what makes Oz what it is.
Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’
2020-08-21 02:13:20 +0000 UTCWhat, seriously again? Good thing I took a screenshot of the last one.
Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’
2020-08-21 01:56:03 +0000 UTCReally interesting ideas and story building so far, looking forward to more info as this goes. Would love to see this get fully developed into a game.
2020-08-21 01:54:26 +0000 UTCMy original comment was above Denise’s. I’m the gal they were referring. Just so you guys have the context for that.
Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’
2020-08-21 01:53:50 +0000 UTCWhoa, hey, what happened to my comment?
Lucky Dragon ‘She.They’
2020-08-21 01:24:36 +0000 UTCI love this idea, twisted tales are always amazing and the design for Dorothy is so cute
Evibbles
2020-08-21 01:15:10 +0000 UTCLittle bit of the umbrella corporation hive feel too. I like the sound of it so far. That is still my favorite Dorothy and staff key. Sounds like it will be a fun game and I already want to know the answers to who Dorothy was before the mind wipe lol.
2020-08-21 00:52:36 +0000 UTCAnd one of her team mates turns out to be everyone's favorite character even though they die in the beginning of the game. But in all seriousness, I didn't think I'd like this idea as much as I do. I don't like the idea of how to get to Oz, and I'm actually not liking the idea of a theme park, despite being a huge fan of them. I'm kind of imagining this looking like right before the humans started leaving Earth on Wall-E. Buy & Large basically owned everything and technology took over, and then we destroyed ourselves. Maybe some Observer vibes, too.
Wendy Jaa
2020-08-21 00:08:35 +0000 UTCWICKD is good! Ok sorry too much Maze Runner. (Books, not movie - yuck!) This is amaze balls, my only REAL question is how was Emerald able to go in and create this theme park in the first place??? Like what happened THAT time? Is THAT what happens again??? Also I disagree with the gal above me - Westworld (SSN 1) was a brain twister. Am I real? Am I not? What does REAL even mean? Ex Machina and all that is beautiful Sci Fi mind mush. Also, and I cannot help myself here, we need natural tornadoes and hurricanes here to access....can Emerald be forcing climate change to gain access?!? (Yes yes how very Lorax, but it works here even as a nuance).
Denise Sury
2020-08-21 00:07:23 +0000 UTCOmg I want to play it already! Kinda upset it doesn’t already exist...
Therese
2020-08-20 23:46:07 +0000 UTCWestworld meets Wizard of Oz, I like it.
Justin Cole
2020-08-20 23:41:35 +0000 UTC
