Heads Roll on the Cutting Room Floor
Added 2020-06-09 21:29:30 +0000 UTCTHERE IS A NEW STORY DRAFT PDF DOWNLOAD AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.
DOWNLOAD IT. READ IT.
Hello there Insane Children,
Alex here with another peek behind the scenes of pre-production.
Big STORY SPOILERS ahead in the PDF download on this one.
I’ll keep this post spoiler and specifics free, so read on with spoiler god-mode enabled.
Since we last spoke together, American and I have continued our work on the Alice: Asylum story.
After our experimental format was received positively, (thank you!) we’re back at it, ironing out the specifics.
We’re deep-diving into the actual in-game story.
Fleshing out and positioning the narrative American will want you to encounter as a player. Starting from the opening cinematic, and moving you forward.
What we’ve now written is a much different, larger, and darker beast.
There’s a lot more teeth.
Hold onto your butts, it’s about to get real.
TWO IMPORTANT THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:
1. THE PDF IN THIS POST IS A FIRST DRAFT FOR THE OPENING CHAPTER ONLY.
It is the very first pass on taking our established key story beats, threading them together, and starting a cohesive narrative experience.
The analogy I used this morning with American was:
Getting all the clay we have lined up to work with.
Slamming all those pieces together.
Then dumping that clay heap on the table.
Ta-dah. Opening story.
It’s time to get sculpting in finer detail.
Severed heads and appendages from this draft will be on the cutting room floor.
A lot will be removed, or repurposed in the next pass.
And that’s great.
American and I agree, the key takeaway from this draft is:
We need to lean it up.
Speaking of which...
2. Scene Duration and Pacing.
As American explained in the last post, a page in this screenplay format roughly translates to 1 minute of screen time. We’ve got 17 pages here.
We’re going to try and cut that in half, (or close to) with the next pass.
And that’s not a problem. We both agree it’s entertaining overall, and there’s some fun scenes.
However, the current draft takes you on a slower-paced, guided tour through the opening. Explaining each step to you in detail. Stopping at each station as you go. Allowing you to take your time as a player. And ask questions.
The pace we want to hit for the story at this point, is more along the lines of strapping you into a fast rollercoaster.
That hits some gut-churning loops.
Then flings you off the tracks.
Over the fence of the amusement park.
And leaves you in a burning, grinning heap in the parking lot.
Sound good?
Much more story, art and experiences to share as we go.
In closing here, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you for continuing to provide the means for American, the team, and myself to make this happen.
We couldn’t do it without your support. I truly hope you’re all enjoying being along for the ride with us. Let’s make something special together.
Stay insane you beautiful people.
-Alex
Comments
The document is great, I love the way is written. Hysteria origin story is pretty cool.
2020-06-14 18:29:56 +0000 UTCI absolutely loved it! It’s dripping with creativity and thoughtfulness. And leading into Denial is great. That opening would blow people’s minds, so I think following it up with a breather would be great for pacing. My favorite part is with her “family,” showing the story’s dark underbelly and how tortured Alice is by the fire. I also loved the little details like the moonlight and visceral descriptions. The only problem for me is visualizing the moon coming down and eating the rabbit or Alice. I’m sure that perception is going to be messed with to make the moon appear further away than it is. And that could help keep the moon a reasonable size. But how is he going to bite anything without taking a chunk of the surrounding area? Maybe I’m thinking too hard. (Potential Spoilers) I also really liked the beginning, which I’m guessing is foreshadowing Bumby and his role? I was just thinking, from what I’ve heard, shouldn’t it be Alice looking into the globe? But you guys have probably already thought of it and have something just as mind melting planned. Anyway, thanks for sharing! Much love and can’t wait for more!
2020-06-10 21:38:50 +0000 UTCReading that was an entire roller coaster I really, really enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. A lot of the scenes caught me off guard - it's super well thought out, and it's a really good first draft!!!!!
2020-06-10 15:58:31 +0000 UTCI don't know what this says about me but I'm loving the "family becomes toast" scene. Part of me wants to see lizzie toastify (blanking on a better verb) slightly (more?) differently? But I like the moment she does get as well as her being the last one Alice sees. Insofar as narrative speed (?) the second half seems to gain the momentum that the first half lacks. But I personally like the slow, serene moments in the first half, in the sense that they make the violent ones (moon chomping bunny and family=toast) punchier and catch the viewer more off guard. Though to be fair, one of the best things about the Alice games is that even if we expect violence, it always exceeds what we as viewers are able to imagine and therefore catches us off guard no matter what. Can't wait to see the images this draft produces in my mind become a reality in your (collectively) skilled hands'!
2020-06-10 00:50:55 +0000 UTCGood first draft and well-considered thoughts! I really like the following ideas and concepts that should definitely stay as constants within this opening chapter/ first tutorial: "Garden of Ash" theme (it's not actual snow!), the plush bunny as a guide, Alice's old home as scenery, her parents' horrifying death through fire as the intro's horrific conclusion (and strong reminder which event had caused it all!).
Hex
2020-06-09 21:57:03 +0000 UTCWow, that was a roller coaster. I really enjoyed it!
2020-06-09 21:45:22 +0000 UTCQuick Note *again* about the format/font in the document. Courier is the Standard Font used when writing scripts and screenplays. Because using this font and in this format translates to (on average) about a minute of screen time per page. It's an industry standard. If you're going to read scripts, you're going to have to get used to it ;)
American McGee
2020-06-09 21:31:56 +0000 UTC
