schnumn

Comic Script: Catastrophising

Added 2020-01-27 14:16:39 +0000 UTC

I write a lot of my comics in the moment that I’m experiencing the event or emotion that inspired them. I have google keep installed on my phone, iPad and laptop so that I can jot things down at any given moment and not have to worry about having things in a million different places. I also find that people will just assume I’m texting or something when I’m actually working through a mini breakdown. Here’s a comic script about something that just happened to me:

Page 1:

I have such an awful tendency to catastrophise*:

I just got told off for putting my feet on the chair in a cafe (I was definitely in the wrong) >>> oh god why am I such a fucking shitty person oh my GOD >>> you probably looked so weird when you were trying to apologise >>> You’re so ugly oh my god why is your face like that??? >>> wow there is literally nothing good about me and that’s why I’m going to fail >>>I deserve to fail. It’s only a matter of time >>> it’s actually hilarious that you’re trying so hard when literally nothing you do matters because it is your concrete destiny to end up alone with nothing to show for your efforts because you’re so ugly and obnoxious

*an example from an actual thing that just happened to me about 20 seconds before I started to write this down

Page 2:

I can definitely rationalise these emotions and realise how ridiculous these feelings are:

Bex omfg listen you’re just being anxious. Here are 3 good things about yourself so you’re talking shit dude. The way you’re feeling about yourself right now is objectively untrue. Yes you were in the wrong but you apologised and that’s all you need to do. It doesn’t have to be bigger than that oh my god

Sadly, being able to recognise that I’m catastrophising isn’t enough to stop me from feeling so awful. I know it isn’t valid but the emotions are there and rationalising them away just doesn’t stop the feeling.

Page 3:

What DOES stop me from feeling that way is expressing it somehow in a tangible way. The act of writing it down in the moment as I’m spiralling grounds me. It allows me to work out my feelings as I’m feeling them and then I can complete my emotional arc and let it go