Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Wandering Eyes

SHIPPER’S SCORECARD

Over on the main Handbook site, the Paladin/Necromancer ship (Pallymancer? Necro Pals?) is about to enjoy some long-overdue spotlight time. With over 700 comics and 150 here on the Handbook of Erotic Fantasy, it seems like a good time to take stock of our ongoing romantic entanglements. Ripped straight from the “Romance” tab of our planning doc, here are the current standings of the Handbook-World dating scene.

• Fighter/Ranger: A pairing exclusive to the HoEF, a comical series of miscommunications has resulted in a ticking time bomb. Will Ranger discover Fighter’s secret identity? Will a vengeful Inquisitor succeed in making Fighter the perfect girlfriend? And is the power of love strong enough to give our resident “that guy” a tsundere-flavored face turn? Only time will tell.
  
• Thief/Wizard: Handbook-World’s premiere couple is also its oldest. Ever since they went on their first double date with that nice swan couple, Thief and Wizard have faced every challenge conceivable. Through dramatic revelations, dramatic shifts in identity, and dramatic drama in general, they’ve managed to stick together and complete their casting of ceremony (wedding). In light of today’s comic, however, one can only hope that old habits aren’t resurfacing.
  
• Warlock/Ninja: Ever since he was introduced as Fighter’s replacement on the HoEF #4, Warlock has been causing problems. Whether he’s breaking Cleric’s heart, failing his Will save at precisely the wrong time, or not keeping his big yap shut, Handbook-World’s hunkiest half-elf is nothing but trouble. At least we can take consolation in schadenfreude. As the proverbial Catwoman to Warlock’s Batman, the on-again-off-again love interest that is Ninja seems to enjoy tormenting the big lug in turn.
  
• Inquisitor/Magus: This match made in heaven is currently languishing in hell. Our catfolk sub and dark elf dom are absolutely perfect for each other. Unfortunately, interplanar shenanigans have placed Demon Queen inside Magus’s body (and vice versa). While the body swap has gone undiscovered so far, it remains to be seen whether their ship can weather this interplanar storm.
  
• Arcane Archer/Druid: The most wholesome couple in all the realm, what started as a simple vole-hunting date has blossomed into a loving bond between shapeshifters. Surprisingly drama-free, the only lingering question in this elf/kitsune pairing is whether Laurel will ever consent to draw anthro fox erotica.
  
• Lord Cragchin/Lady Duplicity: The only established couple to have never appeared together in the HoEF, Lord Cragchin and Lady Duplicity enjoy a marriage of convenience. Of course, it’s questionable whether these ignoble nobles are enjoying that marriage much at all. In addition to the standard infidelity, it seems that there’s some full-on evil afoot in their chateau. After all, someone is hiring those assassins. A jealous husband, perhaps?
  
• Elf Princess/Snowflake/Horsepower: Holy shit this is a weird one. Elf Princess loves Horsepower, believing him to be humanoid thanks to vigilante shenanigans. Horsepower knows he can never be with Elf Princess. Horsepower’s alter ego, the less-lawful Lumberjack Explosion, is in love with Elf Princess anyway. Elf Princess would never date a horse though. Meanwhile, Snowflake is infatuated with Lumberjack Explosion. She’s a jealous bitch and also a friggin’ psycho, having hired Ninja to try and take out the competition. While two thirds of this love triangle have managed to land a spot on the Games of Chaos, figuring out a non-squicky way to bring an elf/horse/unicorn ship to the HoEF remains an ongoing challenge.

Well then. That was more hyperlinking than I thought I’d do today. But at least we’re all up-to-date on the state of play in this, our continuity-free joke-a-day webcomic.

In the meantime, let us know if we missed any stray couples! And more importantly, if you’ve got ship name suggestions, shout ‘em out for us down in the comments!