Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Family Vacation

The portents were right. The hour of destruction drew nigh. Ancient evil burned beneath his ashen hands, and she would just… not... stop... BITCHING.

“Deeper,” she cried! And then a moment later, “Too deep!”

“Sorry, Sir. My apologies, Sir.”

“Nevermind. Just let me concentrate. That’s right. Now pull my hair a little.” And when he did as his master bid: “I said a little you miserable alt-class!”

“Sorry, Sir.” And he kept on with the tedious busywork.

She liked to be called Sir, especially during their weekly one-on-one sessions. It was all to do with building an “appropriate workplace relationship.” Demon Queen loved nothing better than reminding him of that relationship.

"Can I borrow you for a sec? Great. I don't mean to move the goal-post on this family team-building exercise, but now is the time for blue-sky thinking."

“Master?” he’d asked doubtfully.

“Let me pick your brain, Minion. What if we took this opportunity to leverage our synergies? I hope you have the bandwidth for a deep dive, because I’m going to need you to be an actioneer on this one.”

In retrospect, Antipaladin suspected she’d taken offense at receiving a copy of Everyday Devils, Extraordinary Leadership. Demon Queen had smiled graciously when he’d made that gift. Antipaladin had hoped that the tome of bite-sized advice would make perpetual servitude to the forces of mindless destruction slightly more… well... organized. Nothing had changed though. Nothing except his boss’s vocabulary.

“How may I serve you, Master?”

“I can think of a few things we should get in the pipeline. Let’s not let the grass grow on this one, because the optics will not have buy-in from the younger demo.”

It was not hard to understand his master’s desires. It was only hard to fulfill them. And insofar as all her plans seemed bound up in letting the “kids” get a little quality time together, he was bound to put the happiest possible face on the situation. Unfortunately, it seemed that walking in on granny getting shtupped by her executive assistant was not part of plan.

“Lean in on this one!” she cried. “I want to see you move the needle!”

Anti-Paladin did as he was bid. Such was the fate of the lawful servant of Chaos.