Handbook of Erotic Fantasy: Hot Springs of the Gratuitous Nymph - Burning Hands

Bard’s Big Fucking Bestiary: Elementals 

The first step in adding an elemental to your list of conquests is proper identification. This can be surprisingly difficult. As any third-rate jongleur might tell you, elementals are beings composed entirely of a single element. Thus, while a curvaceous mountain stream or a smokin’ hot pile of magma may seem alluring, one must take precautions before proceeding with the familiar processes of courtship. Conversation may be expedient. Should language barriers arise, you might resort to alchemical swabs or a discrete sniff test. Remember: misidentification is not only embarrassing, but often painfully so.

Seduction

Begin by making your soon-to-be lover comfortable. Elementals are as particular about setting as any noble lady contemplating the season’s balls. A being from the plane of fire, for instance, will enjoy neither the gondola nor the yacht. A lover hailing from the quasi-elemental plane of marmalade will not enjoy a first date at the local pâtisserie, no matter how charming. Rather, you should place like with like. Summon your earth elementals into a mud bath, your storm elementals to the romantic heights of a wind-lashed tower, and your ooze elementals to one of the classier variety of jello wrestling venues. 

Love Making

You may be surprised to discover that elementals, despite their fearsome reputation, have an antipathy towards bondage. As a type, they seem to one and all share a cordial dislike for binding, in all its myriad forms. You may dispense therefore with your whips, chains, and chalk diagrams.

Assuming that your para-elemental paramour has anything approaching a humanoid physiology, the conventional methods discussed in the Firbolg, Dwarf, and Kobold entries apply (depending on size, of course). Should the object of your affections resemble an object, take comfort from the fact that such creatures do not possess a discrete anatomy (read: stick it wherever you like). 

As usual, your safety is of paramount concern. Clear boundaries and asbestos prophylactics are a must. Note too that elementals do not breathe, eat, or sleep. So even if bondage is off the menu, a safeword is highly advisable. Elementals are tireless creatures, and will perform a task to their utmost for all eternity unless compelled to stop. And while an infinite lovemaking session sounds lovely, I can assure you that friction burns aren't lovely at all.

Romance

The aforementioned lack of sleep can be a problem. Therefore, I suggest adding the art of distraction to your repertoire. After that you may gather your clothing and roll a Stealth check as usual.