Scarlet Eyes, Chapter 1: Death, Rebirth, and...

Naruto Self-Insert

Synopsis: Reincarnating as Obito Uchiha was not exactly what he would have wished for, but there were definitely worse fates. He may now live in a world with people like the Fourth Hokage and Third Raikage who could literally take on armies alone, but he was overpowered too! He'd show the shinobi that nobody could get in the way of a man determined to get as much happiness and pleasure out of his second life as possible!

Harem/R18+/Dark/Anti-Hero Obito/He does whatever he wants and it works/He also does whoever he wants and it somehow works

-x-X-x-

Looking down at his own mangled body at the scene of a car crash, the recently deceased spirit of an ordinary man let out a long, non-existent breath. 

"Well, that was awful," the spirit said bitterly. 

"The car crash?" a disembodied voice asked the spirit. 

"No," the spirit scoffed. "I was talking about my life. Dying in a wreck was just icing on the cake."

"Ah, yes. Things on your planet have been a little... less than ideal in recent years, haven't they?" the voice mused. 

"Yeah, I know Earth sucks. I lived there for a quarter of a century. I'm kind of over it, to be honest. I'm not too terribly upset about dying now that I have proof that consciousness continues in some form after death. At least I don't have to go to the dentist next week. There's always a silver lining, as they say. Mind filling me in on what comes next?" 

"Your next great adventure, as the mortals say? Well, that really depends on you, my little ghostly friend. You are most certainly being reincarnated. The only things left to be determined are where, when, and who? Tell me, what is it that you most desire?"

"See," the spirit chuckled nervously. "Now you're reminding me of a certain rebellious fallen angel."

"Am I? Interesting. Answer my question, dearie."

"Rumpelstiltskin?"

"Do you want me to just obliterate your soul and call it a day?"

"Haha. Sorry. I wouldn't mind living in a more interesting world. Being born into a decent family would be nice too. Not sure aside from that," the spirit said almost apologetically. He wasn't the most ambitious guy. The most he hoped for was to live a decent, happy life. 

"Hmm. That gives me lots of leeway. I'll make sure you're born into a world with which you're familiar. Haha, I've got the perfect one. I'm going to randomize things just a little bit to make things more interesting." The voice went silent for a few seconds while he deliberated. 

"Huh. Whoops. Here's the thing. You won't regain your memories of your past life until a set amount of time passes, but you will receive three wishes within reason and the boundaries of the laws of the world. I'm pretty sure I have a list of wishes somewhere around here," the spirit heard shuffling paper and banging cabinets. 

"Before you choose, you should know that you're going to be reincarnated as Obito Uchiha in the world of Naruto. Sounds pretty decent, right? Haha, here's the rub. You won't be getting your memories back until the moment before you get pancaked by a giant rock during the battle of Kannabi Bridge. Don't think about it too much. You're welcome. Here you go."

A floating phantom screen popped up in front of the spirit, showcasing the boons he could choose from to help him thrive in his next life. There were so many options that the spirit wasn't sure where to start. Hopefully, there was something that would help him survive being crushed by a boulder.

[1. Ninjutsu Genius], [2. Genjutsu Genius], [3. Taijutsu Genius], [4. Kenjutsu Genius], [5. Fuinjutsu Genius]... [47. Mito Uzumaki's Physique], [48. Madara Uchiha's Physique], [49. Hashirama Senju's Physique]...

Hashirama Senju's Physique. That was an option he was taking without a doubt. Hashirama's body contained the key to using wood-style jutsu, using the Mangekyo Sharingan without losing his eyesight, and once he hit maturity his chakra pool would be as large as a Biju's. He'd be a fool to choose anything else. 

Next, he needed a way to heal himself. Hashirama's physique would give him a decently powerful self-healing ability, but it wasn't all-powerful by any means. He would need something more if he wanted to survive what were pretty much his first moments in his next life. Getting half-crushed to death only to be 'saved' by Madara Uchiha and trained into a vengeful pawn was not part of his plan.

Canon? Screw canon. He was going to do whatever he wanted. 

[103. Greater Healing Factor: So long as even a fragment of the heart or brain remains, the entire body can be regenerated. Improved strength and stamina. Functionally immortal.]

What the hell? That was ridiculously overpowered and there was no chance he wasn't choosing it. Obviously, not all these wishes were equal. He would need to go over all the options with a fine-toothed comb before he finalized his decisions. 

After reading through every possible wish, he asked incredulously, "You can make me functionally immortal, but you can't give me the Rinnegan?" 

"Hey, don't underestimate the Rinnegan! You can resurrect the dead with those things! That's a power that encroaches on the domain of the gods, and I can't give you anything that powerful. Besides, you're already going to be an Uchiha. If those stupid eyes are so important to you then you can cultivate them yourself!" the voice said indignantly. 

"Fine," the spirit pouted. "If that's the case, I would like Hashirama Senju's Physique, Greater Healing Factor, and the Dust-style kekkai genkai, please." The Dust-style wouldn't have been his first choice, but among his options it was the best in terms of offensive capabilities. 

"Simple! Done, done, and done! Now, off you go! I've had enough of you."

With a burst of divine energy, the spirit popped out of existence, sent onwards to his next life. 

-x-X-x-

Obito Uchiha woke up to a curious numb sensation that pervaded his entire body. His brain was taking a second to reboot. Assimilating the memories of two lives was obviously not a simple process, but he was getting there. After the memories of his new life settled in his head, he remembered just what the hell was going on. 

He was in a rocky tomb with half of his body trapped under tons of rock after sacrificing himself for his comrade, Kakashi Hatake. Damn Obito's nobility and self-sacrificial nature. The old Obito may have been all about that hero life, but the new Obito was a new man. He had no intention of doing anything but pursuing his own peace and happiness while surviving in this shitty death world. 

He wasn't a completely changed man, but Kakashi no longer rated high enough in his eyes to be worthy of trading Obito's life for his. Shit, he couldn't think about anyone who made that grade aside from maybe Rin. He'd need to make sure to protect her. In this timeline, she wouldn't be used as a suicide-bomber Jinchuriki. Although maybe that sequence of events would never happen if Obito managed to stay away from Madara and Zetsu. 

Without his newly acquired abilities from that helpful voice, Obito would be near-death, no doubt about it. In the original timeline, his only hope of survival would've been Zetsu, who was undoubtedly watching this conflict from somewhere. Now, he just needed to get out from under the damn boulder and let his healing factor kick in. 

Obito tensed when he spotted movement in the corner of his eye. Shit, his one eye, because the other one was currently in a phased state, a limited version of Kamui that activated out of self-preservation when the body that housed it was literally crushed to paste. 

Kakashi and their other teammate, Rin Nohara, were both struggling to their feet. Miraculously, they hadn't been injured in the cave-in of the enemy's jutsu. 

"Are you alright? Rin... Kakashi..." Obito managed to speak, barely. His wounds were so severe that he was surprised he was even conscious, considering half of his head was smashed. He could feel his healing factor trying to restore his body, but there was physically no room for his body to grow into. 

"Obito!" Kakashi's one good eye widened in shock and horror as he noticed Obito's condition. He stumbled over to the boulder trapping Obito and pushed with all his strength. Kakashi's arms trembled as he forced every ounce of chakra to circulate through his battered body, but it wasn't enough. 

"Damn it!" Kakashi fell to the ground, distraught, smashing his fists into the hard rock in anger. Rin watched Kakashi struggle, unable to believe what her eyes were telling her. Tears trailed down her face as her heart broke. 

"Don't... It's okay Kakashi. Just give me a sec-" Obito tried to speak but ended up coughing up a mouthful of blood. He wasn't going to die, but as his healing factor started doing what it could for him, his nerves fired like crazy, preventing him from controlling his body properly.

Obito couldn't feel a thing on his right side, but everything else hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced. His internal injuries were no joke. Which organs were on the right side of the body, anyways? At least his heart was still pumping. 

"Obito!" Rin shouted in terror. She averted her eyes and covered her mouth to stifle her cries. There were still enemy shinobi outside of the small artificial mountain they were buried beneath. There was no time or allowance for tears. 

"No! Obito! Shit!" Kakashi cursed again, tears falling from his eyes. "If... If only I had listened to you, and we had come to rescue Rin in the first place... This never would've happened! So what if I'm a captain? So what if I made jonin?" 

Ah, Kakashi. Only at times like this, when everything seems darkest, was he ever honest with himself. He had a bigger heart than most, even if it was weighed down by genius and grief. Obito definitely couldn't let that boy grow up to become such a broody pervert. Good thing he had an easy way out of this situation.

Probably. 

The Sharingan was a very interesting dojutsu. Its evolution conditions were weird as hell, and not fully understood, in Obito's opinion. The old Obito had just awakened his Sharingan and it was already at the two tomoe stage.

Yet, he could tell that his current Sharingan was fully matured, with three tomoe. Was it a direct result of his reincarnation and the awakening of his memories? A side-effect of his new Sage body? Obito wasn't too sure, but he believed the knowledge he gained of his own future through the 'Naruto' manga series may have also played a part. 

Rin's suicide at Kakashi's hands... Obito's attack on Konoha that released the Nine Tails... Minato and Kushina's deaths... The knowledge that even the man pulling Obito's strings was nothing more than a pawn the whole time... It was a lot to take in. 

Like it or not, he was Obito Uchiha now. It was a sad story to read about when it was fiction, but now that it's his own life... Suffice to say, Obito was enraged. He was so far beyond angry that he wouldn't be surprised if that anger alone pushed his Sharingan to the next stage. 

Maybe it was a mixture of all the above, because he knew, an instinct buried in his ancestral memory, that his eyes were beyond a simple three tomoe Sharingan. He could feel the chakra in his eyes surging, fully connected to his shattered chakra network despite the catastrophic damage. 

Obito's Sharingan flared bright with chakra, drawing Kakashi and Rin's attention. To their amazement, the three tomoes bled together, slowly forming a new pattern. 

The Mangekyo Sharingan. 

"Kamui."

With a grunt of pain and exertion, Obito rolled over, his body seemingly phasing through the rock on top of him, exposing his crippling injuries to his teammates. His entire right side was flattened, bones completely shattered, and most of his organs were failing. 

"Obito!" Rin cried, scrambling over to him on her hands and knees. She cradled his body, her hands glowing with the green aura of medical ninjutsu. Before she could even begin to heal him, she stopped and stared, awestruck, as his injuries began to knit themselves back together. 

His bones reformed and the muscles reattached, turning Obito from a half-2D character into a real boy. Seriously, for a few seconds he looked like someone squeezed half of him like they were trying to wring out the last bit of toothpaste. The only part of the right side of his body that didn't need to heal was his right eye, matching his left, spinning with the eerie light of the Mangekyo Sharingan. 

He was absolutely covered in blood, but that wasn't really a problem any longer. He could probably produce enough blood all on his own to provide enough transfusions to match the entirety of Konoha Hospital's usual donors. Hell, he could bleed enough to kill a man every minute for the rest of his life and still be perfectly fine. Healing factor for the win!

Rin and Kakashi could do nothing more than watch in horrified fascination as Obito's body put itself back together. Within a few minutes, his lethal wounds were completely healed, as if they were never there. If it wasn't for the blood, there would be no way to know he was ever injured. 

"What the...?" Rin muttered in shock as she ran her hands up and down Obito's right side, ensuring he was healed, even if she didn't understand how he was healed. She couldn't stop a blush from stealing its way across her face as her fingers lightly trailed over the boy who should be dead. His body may be restored, but his clothes did not survive intact. His freshly healed body was completely exposed to the gazes of both his teammates. 

"Obito... Your body has changed so much," Rin said while feeling him up. 

"What do you mean?" Obito asked, unsure. His Mangekyo Sharingan was really messing with his head. His emotions felt amplified along with his eyesight. Anger, hatred, regret, love, and more all swirled within him like a powder keg, waiting to explode. He didn't really have the mental energy to pay attention to the state of his body beyond 'Am I dying? No? Good enough.'

"You've always had a strong body. We're shinobi so that's only to be expected, but this is completely different. I'm more than familiar with your body than anybody and I know your physique has completely changed with just a glance." 

As it finally sunk into Rin's head that Obito was going to survive, her heart felt like it was going to burst from all the feelings rampaging through her. "How many times have I healed you up to this point? Stupid idiot," Rin started crying again. "You nearly died. We almost lost you... and your eyes, Obito. What's going on with your eyes?"

Obito sat up, his body restored enough that he could move under his own power. He pulled Rin into a hug with one arm and clapped Kakashi on the shoulder with another. "Don't worry. I'll explain later. We need to focus on escaping for now. We'll get out of this," he promised.

Rin and Kakashi weren't sure how to react to Obito's optimism considering he was literally a few breaths away from dying moments ago, but more than anything they were grateful he was alive. It was almost a part of the human condition that you value something more after nearly losing it. That was especially true when it came to people. 

"Stay close to me," Obito said. "We're going to bust out of here in style." 

Before Kakashi or Rin could object, Obito's Mangekyo Sharingan started rotating eerily, giving off a red glow that grew more intense along with his flaring chakra. 

"Susanoo."