Reborn as an Elven Mother - Chapter 5

Commissioned by Azena

When Cameron, a relentless workaholic, falls into an exhausted sleep one night, he wakes up in the body of an Elven maiden in a strange fantasy realm. Suddenly thrust into a life he doesn’t remember, he must learn how to be a mother while not letting on that he's not who he appears to be.

~

Chapter 5

“School? Are you sure?”

“Why not? Dellah is living in the big city now; she deserves a proper education.”

It had been a week since Lewin unceremoniously appeared in our lives, and I had to admit I was feeling slightly adrift. Finding him had been my goal for so long that now it was done, I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. But One advantage parenthood had given me was purpose; I could never be totally useless since I had a daughter relying on me. But now that Lewin was in the picture and the idea of her spending her days at school was on the table, I found myself reluctant to let go. 

“She’s been through a lot of change recently; maybe we should wait a while.”

“I think this will help,” Lewin argued. “She needs stability, having her mind occupied during the day will help. Besides, her magical gift should be nurtured. Most children who show magical skills have already been in school for years at her age.”

There was a quiet creak from the side door, so quiet most people would ignore it, but not a parent.

“Dellah, I know you’re listening.”

A second later, she burst through the door, hands clutched together and her eyes wide. 

“Oh, please let me go!” She begged. “I want to learn magic! Pretty please!”

Lewin laughed, and I rolled my eyes.

“I suppose that settles it then.” I sighed. “School it is.”

“Yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

Dellah bounced on her toes and threw her arms around me with a grin.

Now that Dellah knew I wasn't going anywhere, her smiles seemed so much more genuine. They made my heart warm, just knowing she was safe and happy in the city gave me peace. She’d even started to make friends with the human kids who lived in the shop down the road.

“Can I go tell Maria and Agnes?” Dellah asked. “They don’t go to school; maybe I can convince the baker to send them with me!”

 “The baker needs them home, they’ll take over his business one day, but sure, go ahead and tell your friends.”

She was already halfway out the door, waving over her shoulder as she went.

“City life agreed with that child,” Lewin noted. 

“It certainly does.” 

There was silence for a beat; now that Dellah was settled, things had become slightly awkward between us. We at least had the benefit of knowing I wasn't the woman he’d knocked up and left alone for most of a decade, but that didn’t make things easy. Without our daughter around to focus on I never quite knew what to say. 

“So, that’s Dellah sorted out,” Lewin said finally. “I suppose we should start thinking about you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek; this was exactly where I had hoped we wouldn’t go. 

“Is that your subtle way of asking me to find a job?” I joked, and thankfully, Lewin laughed.

“With Dellah at school, you’ll have your days to yourself, I don’t want you cramped up in here all the time.”

A few weeks ago, I would have killed for a day to myself now the idea terrified me. I had no idea who I was in this world, and now that I’d promised to stay, I had no choice but to try and figure it out. A hand reached out to grip my shoulder, and Lewin gave me a sympathetic look.

“Hey, don’t look so worried. I have plenty of gold you don’t have to find a job if you don't want to. I just thought it might be nice for you to be less reliant on me. I don't want you to feel like you’re trapped. Of course, I am always happy to give you gold if you need it!”

“Lewin?”

“Yes?”

“Deep breath, you’re rambling again.”

“Oh, heh, sorry.”

His face flushed, and he rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck.

“How many times do I have to explain that I am not Ada. You didn’t leave me alone with a child to raise.”

“I know that!” he sighed. “But I did leave her. And you have her face. I just…I never wanted to be the sort of man who did something like that. What sort of asshole fathers a child and then just up and leaves?”

“One who didn't know he had? Ada probably didn't even know herself for months! How were you supposed to?” 

Lewin threw up his arms and huffed, making me giggle.

“I don’t know guilt isn’t logical.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I just did.”

I punched him on the shoulder and laughed as he winced.

“You really are a man under all there.” He muttered, and a strange emotion twisted in my gut. 

Of course, I was a man under it all, but for some reason, his saying that made me feel…odd. At least I’d distracted him from the job discussion. 

“I’m going to go for a walk,” I announced before Lewin could realise I’d dodged the question. “I’ll be back soon.”

I hurried out into the open air of the city and took a deep breath. Ruler’s Rest didn’t smell like the cities I remembered; no car exhaust instead, the smell of hundreds of wood stoves burning and mud invaded my nostrils. It almost made me nostalgic for the village, but then I remembered those insane priestesses and thought better of it. I’d been taking quite a few walks this last week, slowly exploring the area around Lewin’s home while trying to gain my bearings. 

The truth was, making my own money would be nice. Telling stories earned me enough for the road here and there, but here, the competition from official bards was too stiff. I could earn a handful of coins here and there, but not enough to live on. I had no idea how I could make a living here: I didn't know a trade, I didn’t know the area, hell, I couldn’t even read. What would I do with myself if I wasn’t being a mother? 

~

I held tight to Dellah’s hand as we made our way through the city streets to the Academy schoolhouse. It was a two-storey stone building with a tower at one end, inside the walls, I could see other children, most of them dressed finer than Dellah, gathering. I bit my lip and squeezed her hand tighter.

“Remember, you don’t have to stay if you don’t like it.” I reminded her. “You can always come home with me.”

“I’ll be fine, Mama.” She insisted. “I want to learn magic!”

“Your father can always teach you instead…”

Dellah wasn't listening, though she was tugging at my hand, pulling forward like an eager pup. I felt her fingers slip through mine, and a pang went through my heart. But then she stopped and turned, a strange fear in her eyes. 

“You’ll be here to pick me up?”

“Of course.”

She smiled widely and waved. 

“Good! See you later, Mama!”
 “See you later…” I whispered., watching her go and not moving until she’d disappeared inside the building. 

I felt like a boat without a mooring as I walked back to Lewin’s home above the shop. My fingers kept curling in on themselves, expecting Dellah’s hand to be there. When I stepped into the apartment, it was empty; the room was clean, food was ready for dinner, there was nothing for me to do. I sat by the window and stared out, feeling listless. I’d promised Dellah I wasn’t going anywhere, and I meant it, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do with myself when she wasn’t around. I stared at my warped reflection in the window glass and sighed.

“Who are you, now?” I asked my reflection. 

A second later, the door opened and a stack of books with legs walked in. I laughed as Lewin wobbled, trying to keep the tower under control before one finally tipped too far and the whole pile went tumbling to the ground. 

“Bollocks!” He cursed, turning red when he realised he wasn’t alone.

“A bit of light reading?”

“Oh! You’re here! How did drop off go?” Lewin asked as he hurriedly picked up the books and cursed when he saw some of the bindings had come loose on one. 

“It wen’t fine, here let me help.” 

I knelt down and picked up a handful of the books, pausing to run my fingers over the stiff leather covers. They were so different to the books I used to publish; thick leather covers embossed with gold or black, thick, rough paper and a distinctive ink smell that wafted off them even now. I ran my fingers over the curving letters of the cover; a stylised crystal was embossed just beneath them. Was this a textbook? A story? A historical record, I had no idea. 

“Do you like to read?” Lewin asked after a moment, snapping me out of my reverie.

“I did.”

“Did? Past tense.”

“I…” My cheeks turned hot. “Can’t read anymore. In my world the language was different, or at least, the letters were. This just looks like swirly gibberish.”

“Really, that’s fascinating.”

I gave him a sharp look, and Lewin immediately backpeddled. 

“I mean tragic.”

“Thank you. The truth is I hadn't done much reading for pleasure lately. Mostly work.”

“What was your old job, back in that other world?” Lewin asked as he patted the couch, indicating that I should sit with him.

“I worked in publishing; I helped make books essentially.”

Lewin looked like a drunk who’d just found out I could produce alcohol from water. 

“That’s incredible! No wonder you miss reading.”

I nodded, trying to think back to the last time I’d settled in and really enjoyed a good book. All I could think of was skimming YA novels, annotating things in the margins and jotting down ideas for cover designers. 

“I could teach you, if you want?” Lewin said after a moment. “To read I mean.”

If nothing else, it would help me fill my days. Lewin smiled softly and placed a hand over mine, just for a moment, before blushing and pulling back. 

“Uh, the book?”

“Oh, right.”

I quickly handed it back and tried to ignore the strange way my skin tingled where he touched it. Lewin cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. 

“So, uh, what did your old language look like?”

I reached for the notebook I’d been using to keep track of everything in this new world and handed it over. Even knowing he couldn’t read it, it felt slightly embarrassing handing it over. Like it was my diary or something. Lewin flicked through the pages and his eyes went wide.

“This is…this is the language of the ancients. Or at least, their alphabet.”

“The ancients?”

“The ancient elves of old who lived across this land before other races came and colonised it thousands of years ago.”

“You’re joking.”

“Not even a bit.” Lewin ran his fingers through his hair and gave a breathy laugh. “This…this is incredible, do you have any idea what this means? All the ancient texts and tablets you could translate?”

He looked at me with such awe that it made butterflies dance in my stomach.

“Well, don’t get your hopes up. It might just be the letters; it could be a totally different language.”

“Still! If I can teach you to read and write Common, you’ll be able to at least translate it phonetically, the potential is endless…the histories we could unlock….”

“It would be nice to be useful.” 

Keeping Lewin looking at me that way would be nice as well. 

~

“Reaching…for the clou- no sky!”

“That’s right! Well done, Mama!”

I couldn't help but blush a little bit at Dellah helping me learn to read. Her school readings looked far more complicated than the simple sentence Lewin had made for me. It felt wrong to have her be the one looking after me in any capacity. We’d settled into a strange sort of routine, with Lewin going off for days at a time, leaving Dellah and I to ourselves again. Dellah would go to school, and I would work on my reading and tell a few tales in an effort to give back the coin Lewin left for us. 

He made his money through mercenary work, or ‘adventuring’ as he called it. Plenty of people could use a wizard trained in both combat and academics. So off he went for days, sometimes weeks at a time, to explore some tomb or fight some beast. Dellah’s eyes had been big as dish plates when he told her, and of course, she immediately asked to come along. Thankful Lewin and I had been in agreeance about that not happening. 

“Do you think Papa is alright?” Dellah asked suddenly. “He’s been gone a while now.”

“He’s not far, the local guild wanted back up with a pack of creatures bothering local farmers. Lewin is powerful, I am sure he can handle a few…what were they called? Ridgebacks?”

Dellah gave a frightened squeak, and suddenly, I didn't feel so sure. 

“Are ridgebacks dangerous?”

When Lewin had mentioned them poaching sheep from farms around Ruler’s Rest, I had been imagining fantasy wolves, but now I was starting to think I should have asked for more details. 

“They’re scary,” Dellah whispered, rushing over and grabbing one of Lewin’s bestiaries. “Tough too, they have these bone plates that arrows and even some spells bounce off.”

She held up a page, and I flinched; the stark black ink against the page made the beast look even more ferocious than I’d imagined, with a smooth body plate back and a large jaw full of dagger like teeth and a lolling tongue. Lewin was facing a whole pack of those? Suddenly, the fact that he’d been gone for almost a week made me nervous. Dellah looked at me with mirrored worry, and I forced myself to smile.

“I’m sure he’s fine.”

But what if he wasn’t? Dellah had only just met him to lose him so quickly. Not to mention, we’d just gotten stable, she was in school, how would I keep up the rent on this place when I wasn’t even literate yet? Providing for Dellah in the big city was a lot harder than on the road, where I could catch a fish in the river. Immediately, I began to plan only for the sound of the front door opening to snap me out of it. Lewin walked inside, looking tired and a little worse for wear but alive. The knot around my heart loosened. 

“Papa! You’re alive!” Dellah cried, throwing herself into his arms, much to Lewin’s confusion.

“Of course I’m alive. Why wouldn't I be?” He chuckled. “You think a bunch of ridgeback’s could do me in?”

“Mama was worried.” 

Lewin looked at me, and my worry turned to frustration as my cheeks burned.

“You didn't mention ridegbacks were these awful dangerous beasts! I thought it was a simple job!”

“It was.”

“But look at this thing!” I said, holding up the book. “It’s dangerous.”

“I’ve faced worse.”

“That doesn't make it better! What if something happened to you? What would happen to Dellah and I?” My voice cracked, tears were burning at the back of my eyes, and I hastily rubbed them away. 

“Hey,” Lewin said softly, approaching me gingerly like you would a wounded animal. “I’m fine; everything is okay.”

Gently, he wrapped his arms around me, and I returned the gesture. We fit together well, no wonder Ada fell into his bed. I could hear his heart beating against my ear, and I breathed deeply; he smelled ink and sweat. Not the best combination, but right now, it was comforting. 

“Let’s have dinner and get Dellah to bed.” He whispered. “Then we can talk about this.”

It felt strange letting him go; part of me wanted nothing more than to rush back into his arms, but I quashed the feeling. I was no blushing virgin; I knew attraction when I felt it; this was hardly the first time, but it was the first time with a man. With his smooth, elven features and soft smile, Lewin wasn't exactly the picture of manliness either. He reminded me of those quiet, nerdy types who always paired off with the shy girls in college. 

Even if he was a woman, he wouldn’t be my type. Or at least, I wouldn't have thought so. But that tightness that had formed in my chest when I considered he might be hurt, I couldn’t deny there was more to it than just thinking about my daughter's future. 

With Dellah finally asleep, we sat on that window seat together, with a flick of his fingers, Lewin lit all the candles in the room, and I giggled.

“That certainly saves time.”

“Magic saves a lot fo things, my life, for example.”

“I’m sorry…for making such a fuss.” I sighed. “So few things have been certain for us since I woke up here. Now that we’re settling down, the idea that it could all come undone is terrifying. Not to mention that you’re the only person who really knows me.”

“I understand.” He replied, placing a hand gently over mine, this time, neither of us moved away. “I can’t imagine how strange this whole experience has been for you. Being thrust into a new world, motherhood, not even being able to read the language…you’re a strong person Ada. Can I call you that?”

“I don’t see why not, it’s my name now.” I shrugged. 

“Do you…not like that?”

I hesitated for a moment and thought before shaking my head.

“It is…what it is. I don’t hate being a woman or anything, but I do feel a bit out of place. Then again, I felt that way about being a mother so who knows, maybe I will get used to it.”

Lewin thought for a moment before grinning, he reached into his robes and pulled out a small pouch that clinked.

“I earned a good amount from that last job, why don’t we go and get you something? Just for you, not for Dellah or us as a family. You have been worrying about the two of us so much you haven’t had a chance to discover yourself.”

“Oh, I couldn’t-”

“Yes, you could. Tomorrow, when Dellah is at school, we’re going out, and I am going to show you around town, anything that catches your fancy, we’ll check out. Who knows, you might find the direction you’ve been lacking.”

My heart lept into my throat.

“You noticed that?”

“Hard not to unless you’re a little girl, of course.”

We both laughed.

“That ignorance won’t last forever one day I won’t be able to hide things from her so easily, she’s already sharp as a tac.”

“She’s like her mother.”

“Ada was a bright woman from all I have heard.”
 Lewin’s gaze softened, and he shook his head.

“I wasn’t talking about Ada.”

Those butterflies danced in my stomach again, and I cleared my throat.

“I’d better get to bed.”

My eyes darted to Lwein’s bedroom door and back to my own mattress on the floor here. Lewin’s rooms were small, so Dellah and I had been sleeping on mattresses he’d dragged up here in the main room. Lwein followed my gaze and turned red, and he quickly went to his own bed.
 “I’ll give you some privacy to change,” he said, not meeting my gaze. 

I ignored the part of me that wished he wouldn’t.

~

In the weeks since we got here, I’d grown used to the city again. It was nothing like the one I’d left behind, in fact, it was just as alien as the village had been. But the crowds were an odd source of comfort. In the city, everybody was so busy and self-absorbed that you felt invisible; after the scrutiny, it felt nice.

Lewin walked beside me smiling that soft smile he reserved for me when he wasn’t talking. 

“Were there cities like this in your world?”

“Once, but that was a long time ago. Now the cities have buildings dozens of stories tall, and mechanical carts that run on electricity that get you around.”

“You’re joking.”

I gave him a knowing smile, and Lewin shook his head in disbelief.

“I’d give anything to see it. I suppose this seems quite quaint in comparison.”

A cart rumbled past us, followed by two men on horseback whooping in delight as they raised bottles of cheap looking liquor in the air. Lewin and I jumped to the side to avoid the hooves, and several people yelled after them. Lewin’s hand gripped my arm protectively, and we both laughed.

“Different, but somehow this is more overwhelming.”

I smiled at him, feeling the warmth of his words settle in my chest. When we’d first arrived, this place had seemed threatening, a dangerous place where Dellah could disappear in a second. Lewin made things steadier. His presence was like a steady breeze, calm and constant.

We wandered down narrow streets lined with vendors selling everything from colourful scarves to intricate wooden carvings. Musicians played their instruments on street corners, not five feet from beggars with their hats. I found myself stopping to listen, truly taking in the sights for the first time. A distinctive, familiar face stood out in the crowd. 

“Nia!”

“Ada.” The Hissant greeted. “I ssssee you found your man.”

“Yes! Lewin, this is Nia, her caravan gave us a lift.”

After exchanging a few pleasantries, the Hissant lifted the cover on her cart to reveal bundles of cloth. 

“Finery.” She explained. “It’sssss not often I find myself delivering such thingssss. I don’t like it. Too easily damaged or sssstained.”

Lewin ran his hands over a few of the dresses thoughtfully before reaching into his pockets.

“Well, I can help with that, how much for this one?”

He held out a swath of soft green fabric that shimmered slightly in the light, a delicate floral pattern was embroidered around the neckline. It was simple but was much fancier than the rough cotton dress and apron I usually wore. No matter how much I washed it, it was never totally clean; the trade off for having only two outfits.

“Forty gold,” Nia replied, giving me a somewhat pitying look. 

“We’ll take it.”

“What!?” I cried. “Lewin, that’s a week's worth of food, maybe more-”

“You deserve it.” He said, smiling softly and handing a startled Nia the gold before I could protest more. “Come on, let’s take it home, and you can put it on.”

He folded the dress back up and Nia gently wrapped it in paper before handing it back. I clutched the package close to my chest, still slightly in shock as the Hissant leaned in. 

“You’ve found a good one there.” She whispered. “I’m a little jealousss.”

I gave a breathy laugh, and Nia flared her frills, which seemed to be the Hissant version of giggling. 

“You take care now; if I find any other nice expensive wares you can treat her with, I will be sure to let you know.”

I blushed, and Lewin grinned before looping his arm through mine. 

“Come on, I want to see you put it on.”

My heart pounded in my chest as we walked home. Forty gold was so much money in this world. I thought back to the handful of gold coins I’d had back in the village, and guilt swirled in my stomach. Spending all that on an outfit just for me didn't feel right. A part of me also felt oddly excited; I’d not give much thought to how I dressed now. If anything, I was trying not to focus on my new curves. When we got back, Lewin bustled me into his bedroom and gave me a wink before closing the door, leaving me with the dress and no excuses. 

I slipped out of my regular dress and into the new one. Instantly, I could feel the difference. The fabric glided against my skin, and I realised just how smooth it was. I pulled the bodice up and instantly sighed in relief. My back had been sore from my breasts hanging free under my normal one, but now, with a supportive bodice, I could move so much more comfortably at the cost of a bit more cleavage. 

I looked down, and for the first time, the breasts didn’t feel so strange. In fact, I felt comfortable in my own skin. I ran my fingers along the leaf embroidery and smiled; I felt beautiful, and it made me smile. I stepped back outside slightly nervously, fiddling with the fabric as I met Lewin’s eyes. 

“You look beautiful,” he said, and though the words were simple, they carried a weight that left me speechless.

I felt warmth rise to my cheeks, and I couldn’t meet his gaze for a moment, looking instead at the dress and its delicate embroidery. 

“It’s… it’s a lovely gift, Lewin, thank you.”

Lewin’s smile deepened, his eyes never leaving mine. 

I swallowed hard, trying to find my words. And in that moment, I felt something stir between us, unspoken but there all the same. But neither of us acknowledged it. Not yet.