My Mountain Trip

Okay, here it is! As you guys know, I posted to you that I was headed to the mountains for a few days. So, as promised, here’s a recounting of where I’ve been, both physically and mentally while I was gone.

Before I get into my little three day jaunt, I want to touch on the state I was in before my trip. 

It’s been an odd year… I won’t list every little thing, but a lot of personal events caused me to slip and completely lose the plot on my life. I let my workload pile up, kept saying yes to more, and was clearly using my to-do list as some sort of punishment because I STILL felt like I wasn’t doing enough. But why?

For one thing, I really hate summer. I have a tendency to get angry and depressed during the season, and it affects the decisions I make. Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s lingering trauma, maybe it’s something subconscious. Whatever it may be, it’s usually the time of year where I spiral into my worst self, and this year was no exception.

Something had to give. Normally, I take my laptop and iPad with me when I go somewhere so that I’m never truly “off the clock”. This time, I ditched them both for a change. No work! No responding to messages! Unplug or bust, dammit!

Mid-morning, I took a plane to Colorado Springs. As I’ve gotten older, I’m finding myself more susceptible to motion sickness, which sucks. Between that and acclimating to the MUCH higher elevation, I ended up freaking dying on the first night.

I went searching in my luggage for Excedrin PM to put me down, only to find that I had left it in the bathroom back home. My only option was the regular Excedrin, which is caffeinated.

I spent the majority of the night sitting wide awake, albeit free from pain at least, alone in the dark.  In the emptiness, there was a deep silence that I got to sit with.

How did I get here? Why am I so frustrated and struggling to exist?

The contemplation carried on to the next day too.

Despite the harsh night, I was functioning well enough to go about my plans. I drove to the zoo, a bit nervous about how I’d fare given the state I was in the night before. To my relief, my body seemed to acclimate and recover, so the inclined walking was fine.

I saw so many animals up close!

I was feeling pretty emotional. The world is so full of amazing creatures that we should be protecting and giving the respect that they deserve.

A friend had told me about the Colorado Wolf & Wildlife Center, where they offer interactions and tours in one of the most accredited AZA facilities for the health and wellbeing of their animals. Sitting at over 9,000 ft elevation, I rolled up the winding dirt hills at dawn to participate in my reservation.

Foxes are so much lighter than I thought! As they climbed over me reaching for snacks in my hand, my first thought was “Jeez, my cat’s heavier than you!” They were so squirrely and adorable.

That's me! And no, that's NOT Cooper 😂 that is a big real grey wolf.

The wolves were beautiful. I was also blessed with the unexpected surprise of one howling right in front of me! Their song is indescribable up close and in person.

Then it was time for the group tour! The passionate staff started with an oral presentation about the facility, our country’s relationship with wolves, and the unforgivable crimes we’ve committed against them across history and modern days. I was grateful for my sunglasses, because I couldn’t hold back the tears.

If you have the means, I highly recommend taking the trip to go to this place sometime. All the proceeds go toward the care of the animals, and despite the heartbreaking facts of reality they present for educational purposes, it’s so wonderful to be reminded that there are people out there who want to leave the world a better place than they found it and truly love the creatures of this planet.

In my final hours before an early next-morning flight, I bookstore-hopped around town. Aside from botanical gardens, my other favorite public spaces are bookstores. New, used, fancy, dingy, each one has such character and I love the way they glow with possibility. I can kill hours easily simply reading and browsing. That, and a nice little treat.

I learned my lesson on the flight up there, so I kept my eyes shut and my earbuds on to make it through the flight home, and I’m happy to say I had a much less painful flying experience. Now that I'm home, I'm so grateful to be back again. On top of all the good moments from traveling, the relief of making it back home is one of the best feelings.

So what did I learn? I wish I had some grand epiphany, some cinematic realization perfectly articulated into deep wisdom I could pass on to you. But life isn't a movie.

It IS a story though. A running series where you're the main character in your own microscopic existence in this vast universe. And sometimes you need a beach episode- a filler chapter that doesn't necessarily progress the plot, but you get to take time to rest and enjoy the characters just existing. I think some part of me found that while traipsing around a place I'd never been before, and it got me back in touch with how amazing it is that we're here and now.

Well, I hope that was somewhat entertaining for you! Suffice to say, I'm feeling better and will be continuing to make adjustments to my professional and personal life for the better :3 til next time!