Personal Update (The Hatsukoi and more)

Hello everyone! ^^

Sorry for not posting anything until now. Honestly, I've been really down the last few weeks. I also got sick with a fever again, so I have not been feeling great physically or emotionally.

Where to start...

I guess the Hatsukoi, right? ^^ Well, it was a great experience, actually! I had the chance to meet a few followers, and it really made me happy to see them excited to meet me and to listen to them tell me how much of an impact my art has had in their lives ^w^ That was so great, to see people wanting my autograph and to take a photo with me :'D

I printed 26 copies at home of what I have of my manga so far + Changes, and they sold out! There were people who had never seen my art (I'm not well-known at all here in Mexico, so most people had no idea at all of who I was xD), but they complimented my art style and some of them wanted to know more of my characters ^^ I'm happy that many people found my style cute and clean, because I put a lot of love in it and I work a lot for it to look that way ^^

The sad part is... that I didn't sell a lot. Ever since I applied to participate in the Hatsukoi, I had the idea that I would lose money because my main goal was to make my work a bit more known here, but... I may have invested a bit too much on merch to be my first time xD Not my smartest move, but I asked for loans to produce merch, and most of it stayed with me xD There were several factors contributing to the low sales, of course I'm not famous or anything, and most of my followers are from different countries. So, I didn't have a big audience to attend the Hatsukoi. I don't make fanart, so I probably lost some customers there xD because people were looking for their favorite characters, not many wanted to see original art, and of course, no one has to like what I do. Also, I was on the second floor of the convention, and some people actually told me they had spent all their budget on the first floor, and I was almost at the end of said floor, and if that wasn't enough, I had issues with some providers, which led to lacking some merch, or it looking... Not as great as it was supposed to.

My wife helped me a lot and also put her own money, and I had a lof of help from my friend Diana, who BTW has the biggest SamLizzy collection out there xDDDD but still... My finances aren't looking great at the moment. And I still have commissions pending, and I didn't want to take more because I really, REALLY need and want to make a lot of things that I should have done long ago and I just feel like I'm stuck and falling behind and sigh I'm really, really sorry, because I know I haven't been a great content creator and I put too much effort, time and money on this and it wasn't a great success xD I'm not sure what I'm going to do to survive the next couple of months, but I'll manage, I hope xD

This doesn't mean I'm giving up. Actually, I'll continue attending conventions, but with a lot less pressure and with more preparation. This was the most difficult one because it was my first one. there were a lot of things I didn't know, I had to get for the first time, etc. But the next ones, I'm sure, will be less harsh on me. I'm not sure I'll sell more because, as a transgender artist focusing on a queer relationship between a cis lesbian woman and a trans lesbian woman, that's a narrow audience I'm aiming for, especially in a country like Mexico, but I'll try to diversify a bit so I can expect a better income there. Valerie, Giselle, wake up! And don't look at me like that, smile, bitches! You gotta help your mom bring food to the table x)

I still have merch available! Sadly, I had most issues with the prints' quality (posters, postcards, photocards, etc.), so right now I don't think they look presentable, but I still have a few notebooks, several keychains, a lot of standees and buttons and I've got a couple of new friends who will help me understand how I can ship internationally at a low price ^^ So stay tuned if you're interested! I just want to make a trial shipping so I can make sure packages will arrive at it's destination x)

Also, I've posted a lot of things to Redbubble if you were waiting to get some new stickers or some other things! ^^

My double depression (Persistent+Seasonal) came early this year. It usually comes around my birthday (Dec 23rd) but, probably because of the outcome of the Hatsukoi, the exhaustion of over 2 months of working non-stop, and some sad memories I have of the last days of November, it just hit me like a train. I'm almost sure it weakened my immune system because I got sick, but no one else in my house did.

I'm feeling better now, and I'm really sorry that I haven't said a word in weeks. I just really didn't feel like it, and I'm so sorry u.u

Thank you to all who are still here, and sorry to those I've let down. Also, sorry this is not a great update with a lot of good news.

Well, there's probably a good new x) I'm planning something for Christmas this year, though I don't feel quite confident in my idea for now. Hopefully, you'll like it.

Have a great day!! <3