The Simulacrum - Chapter 35
Added 2019-07-12 06:39:38 +0000 UTCPart 1
It was a beautifu
Comments
Just a heads-up: I was already unsatisfied with the last third of this chapter, and after your feedback, I went back and re-edited some parts to make things flow better and make Leo less of a dumbass. Cheers.
Egathentale
2019-07-13 11:19:20 +0000 UTCI don't have much of an excuse here, but I will say this anyway: Originally this character was supposed to be even more erratic, with a fragmented speech pattern and even bigger mood-swings. The original idea was that she was so incomprehensible and obnoxious that Leo just wanted to get away from her ASAP, explaining his lack of attention for details. I sent that version over to my friend for QC before posting, and he told me it was hard to read and annoying, so I decided that making her more comprehensible and less outwardly insane was the lesser of two evils, which unfortunately made Leo's reactions out of tune. I will naturally attempt to salvage this during the next chapter, where this encounter will be discussed in detail, or I might even go back and touch up the last part of this chapter before the public release.
Egathentale
2019-07-13 08:56:24 +0000 UTCIt occurs to me that Leo is going to be in so much trouble if his missing parents ever actually do show up. Forging papers to adopt someone into the family is right up there with wild parties on the list of things you shouldn't do when your parents are out of town. :P
11037
2019-07-13 06:13:24 +0000 UTCUh.... What happened? Did Leo bang his head somewhere? Maybe I missed a chapter, but the last part of this one is WEIRD. I get the comedy, but it was like I was reading someone else work. He.... Did nothing. Didn't get informations, didn't correct wrong assumptions, didn't THINK. At ALL. Beside stereotypes, this person is clearly deranged. And he reacted like he was a 2 cents 12 years old shounen protagonist. What......
Max Lopo
2019-07-12 23:12:26 +0000 UTCI haven't read the chapter but was stupid enough to read the comments xD. This is going to be interesting.
Sebas Tian
2019-07-12 14:00:36 +0000 UTCYandere, YANDERE!!!
Steven
2019-07-12 07:45:49 +0000 UTCWelp, Josh kinda jinxed Leo in that side-chapter. Now he's stuck with Miss Crazymurderpants.
Azareck
2019-07-12 07:34:09 +0000 UTC
