Well, everything sucks

It would be wiser, I think, to write this update once Matt and I actually know what we're doing. But, we don't. Matt's written an update on  Oh Joy Sex Toy that's going live with tomorrow's comic, and it just... I'd rather tell you patrons directly ahead of time. 

God, it sounds like we're getting divorced, doesn't it? 

We're not. ...............................but actually, it feels a lot like it, to be honest. 

I'm gunna quit working on OJST. Matt's not sure what he's going to do, whether he'll keep the site updated just with guest comics on a reduced schedule or if he'll shutter the site entirely or something else. 

NOTHING IS CHANGING YET.

We still have a couple toy review comics we owe some companies and there's a number of guest comics that are either ready to post or are juuuuust about to be handed in. Plus, we'll need to make a "Good bye" comic, if the site is for-reals going to stop updating. 

So, it's not over yet. 

It's just... scary and sad and heartbreaking. 

Like. 

I'm not exaggerating. 

I haven't felt this devastated and grief-stricken since I was 20-years-old and totally unprepared for my very first heartbreak. Have I sobbed on the floor in the fetal position until I couldn't breath today? A lady never tells ;)

This is all wrong. This is why you should wait until you know what you're doing before you send a message about it to your audience. I just. You folks are here. You make this possible. I'm letting you know what's happening. I'll write a better update later, something that lets you know 1) what the plan is and 2) what actions (if any) you can take to be a part of it. 

For now? 

For now you know that Matt and I have spent the last few days sobbing on each other as we try to picture a future without the two of us working together on OJST. 

I should tell you:

1) Why I'm quitting
2) The significance of what OJST means to Matt and me and our life together
3) What comes next

But that all requires so many more words to explain and I have literally spent the last three days sobbing myself sick so I just... I don't have it it in me. Well, no, I can tell you the short version of why I'm quitting: I'm so burned out, yo. I'm so, so, so burned out. I was already burned out when they sent me off to the Intensive Outpatient Program and I'm even more burnt out now. 

LET ME REITERATE: NOTHING IS CHANGING YET. 

There's still more OJST comics coming for the immediate future and even if/when they stop, this Patreon will remain updated with my writings and art and non-OJST comics. This will most likely transition to being a monthly subscription Patreon account in the near future. 

ALSO: DID I MENTION THAT MATT AND I ARE NOT GETTING DIVORCED? Oh, Jesus. Things Super Duper suck right now, but we love each other like crazy and neither one of us has the eye on the door (AS FAR AS I KNOW 👀). 

God. 

Matt and I have been together for 16 years now. The last eight of them have been working on this comic together. This is a bit of a shake-up, you know? We're grieving. 

and.

In between the grief?

There's moments of hope. There's possibility. 

Last week I was dancing barefoot in a thunder storm with Danielle and Lucy in West Virginia. This week I'm clinging to my husband like we're drowning and I want to barf because I'm sobbing so hard. 

It goes up, it goes down. 

It's gunna be ok.