OhJoySexToy

Can I just... take a moment?

Added 2021-03-11 04:41:00 +0000 UTC

I’m supposed to talk about a lot of different things here. I’m supposed to keep you guys in the loop. I’m supposed to reply to the messages my friends send me. I’m supposed to line up a new therapist.

Today I went in for an MRI (don’t worry, I’m fine) and this handful of photos I snuck while in there are the only things I feel like sharing right now.

The technicians asked me over and over again if I had any metal on me and I told them no each time. It wasn’t until Matt was driving me home afterwards that I looked down and realized I’d never removed my wedding ring. Woops.

I’d like to talk about the emotions and experiences of launching a new book, but I’m exhausted. I’d like to say that I’ll catch up with my messages, but I already know that I won’t. I’d like to schedule an appointment with my therapist, but I still don’t have one after a year of half-heartedly trying.

Over the intercom in the MRI-tube, the technicians told me “Good job!” and “You’re doing so well!” every few minutes while I laid perfectly still as the machine clunked and clicked and buzzed around me. “I am doing a good job,” I thought to myself with actual pride.

I’m where I need to be and I’m putting in the bare minimum (holding perfectly still) and I am doing the best damn job I’m capable of doing right now (which is laying on my back and practicing the meditative breathing I learned in the Intensive Outpatient Program).

You’re doing great.

I am.