NokiMo
OhJoySexToy
OhJoySexToy

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Kohlrabi

Some months ago, I learned about a vegetable that was totally new to me: kohlrabi.

It’s this softball-sized orb that sits atop a thin little stem and is sparsely covered in really theatrical leaves that resemble decorative plumage. It’s like an ostrich made of cabbage and I absolutely bought a packet of seeds. Matt asked what it tastes like and I told him I have no clue because the taste isn’t the point to me. The point is: it looks ridiculous.

I’ve made a lot of my life decisions based on how ridiculous I find the potential outcome and, hey, I made it to 37 and I’m still alive so I must be doing something right.

Join me as I take you through a high speed fast forward through my kohlrabi’s life:







Which brings us to... TODAY!

Eff yeah! I harvested that sucker! (And a couple of his siblings)


Lookit my little crop 😭

I put my phone camera’s panorama feature to good use:


I’ve been informed kohlrabi tastes like broccoli? And it’s best eaten... raw? I think? It’s ok, Matt and I’ll look up some recipes and figure it out.

Matt and I spent the day floating on the river to celebrate his 35th birthday. He’s my favorite guy. He’s the best ridiculous thing I ever did with my life (Fall in love with a man when you’re a lesbian? Be in a 3.5 year long distance relationship with someone on a tiny island halfway round the world in a completely opposite time zone, so he’s going to bed when you’re getting up? MARRY this person you’ve spent less than six months total in the same physical space together? Become full time business partners and coworkers with your spouse???)

He’s hilarious and intelligent and curious and kind and devious and thoughtful and creative and dedicated and hardworking and so, so, so handsome. 15 years together and he still makes my heart skip a beat with his soft English accent and silver hair, his beautiful smile and beautiful, beautiful eyes.

Woops, sorry. This was supposed to be a post about my kohlrabi.

I guess it’s about the ridiculous things I’ve pursued, the unique things that caught my eye and delighted me, that I’ve watched develop and grow from youth to maturity. Here’s to the strange and the beautiful! Those entities that capture your attention with their creativity and brilliance. Here’s to the things you nurture and cultivate, and that nurture and cultivate you in return.

Here’s to the things that enrich your life in whatever form that may take, whether by jumping in blindly on an ill-advised adventure with a hot British boy while you study abroad and wind up building a life together with the absolute best person you’ve ever met or by painstakingly tending to a new crop of seedlings for months and months on end simply because you think some day they might look funny and then you can try to eat them but you very well may not even like how they taste.

Here’s to the ridiculous!

May we all have something ridiculous to live for in our lives ❤️


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Comments

It's a 🥦 broccoli stem basically, there is a point where they are sweeter than broccoli would be but I love them however they come. There are so many brassicas, it's such an interesting plant!

Barmp

This brightened my day so much! Thank you!

Heidi N

Weird fact: Kohlrabi is knutekål in Norwegian (translates as knotty cabbage, perhaps?). But the Norwegian kålrabi, however (which sounds excactly the same at kohlrabi) is rutabaga.

annetten

Happy Birthday Matt! And Kohlrabi look super neat.

The Ferret

If you don't like the taste so much (I don't think they taste of much anyway…), you can also do a potato-kohlrabi curry

Sophie Pruzsinszky

"Bon anniversaire, Matt !" 🎂🥂🎩 And I think I had kohlrabi, it was served sliced, steam-cooked, accompanied by mustard and/or wasabi. Thank you for the great post.

Ozone S.

I love to cut them into sticks and eat them as dippers into hummus!! Enjoy them!

Kat Kennewell

I patreon'd you for dar and ojst but I'm enjoying these botany posts. Maybe more slice of life could be in order.

Brian Brewer

Wow! Think I’ve eaten kohlrabi, but never seen it in the wild before. It does look bizarre, like something alien. As you say, here’s to the ridiculous! :)

Amyphist

I'm sure it doesn't seem effortless to you, but your posts like this one feel like a direct message from another consciousness who's thoughts match mine: you communicate so fluidly, directly, simply, and apparently honestly. They always make me smile. Thanks.

Chris Abele

I thought they were supposed to be harvested about half that size, like zucchini. At least, that’s how big they always are at the farmers market here. Hope it turns out great!

Joshua

fabulous. 💖 try slicing and pickling them! they’re divine.

Reilly Hannigan

Stew is where I usually encounter kohlrabi, but I have also eaten it raw. Hard core purists will say a Cornish pasty is where they are best.

Brent Sieling

Everything about this is utterly beautiful.

S T

I love your posts like this - it's very comforting to read through your thought process, somehow. Let us know how the kohlrabi tastes!

Chris


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