OhJoySexToy

Exposed, Vulnerable, Trying, Doing

Added 2017-05-06 19:40:04 +0000 UTC

Dancing in front of people taps straight into the VULNERABLE center of my brain.

I can do my go-to bounces and hip wiggles when I dance at home alone or in the few times I've gone out with friends to a club, but Actual, 4 Reals, Capital D Dancing? The kind where you move deliberately and you adjust your speed and you make shapes with your body? My brain doesn't work like that and my body isn't trained to move like that.

But then I drop into the Choreo and Flow classes at Ecdysiast every so often with an Actual 4 Reals Dancer teaching us the steps they've arranged to a specific song and for one hour I'm completely outside my comfort zone and... I do it.

I do something new. I do something foreign. I do something I'm embarrassed to do where others can compare my inexperience and deficiencies right next to people who practice every day, who live and breathe for this.

I miss beats and I can be too robotic and jerky but then for a few seconds my movements sync up with the music close enough and I'm Dancing. Capital D Dancing.

It only lasts a few seconds. And god only knows my best attempts don't even approach the seemingly effortless elegance of our instructor. But, I'm doing it. I'm doing it as well as I can.

I'm exposed, I'm vulnerable, I'm flawed, I'm trying, I'm doing.

I'm Capital D Dancing.

Choreography by Shannon Gee
Music is Cruelty by Kosheen